Maybe @ 16 and 14 year old traveling alone

[Deleted]

Please settle an argument.

H's 2 nieces who are 16 and 14 want to come visit this summer. They're coming from salt Lake city, spending a week in new Hampshire with their other uncle, spending 10-14 days with us, then meeting SIL's friends in Grenoble, France.

We're in agreement that we need to take time off to spend with the girls because neither one of us feels comfortable letting the girls run around alone. I told h I'm not super comfortable letting the girls go to Grenoble alone, but he thinks it's fine as long as we take them to the airport on this side.

The girls haven't traveled outside of the country ever, don't speak French and haven't seen much outside of salt Lake. I don't think SIL has thought this far yet, but I'm freaking out.

If we were to travel with them to Grenoble we'd need lots of paperwork from their mom, especially since they have a different last name to h. And really, we're going to Grenoble just to accompany them.

Am I overreacting?

[Deleted]

No. They don't speak French and are too young to be traveling a country they have never visited before by themselves. Especially if their from somewhere like SLC which is pretty dang insular.

DEFINITELY not 14!

[Deleted]

OMG this is why I can't have kids. I seriously am freaking out over the thought of entertaining 2 Mormon teens for 2 weeks this summer.

[MrsPotatohead]

Eh, I guess I think they would be ok if someone was putting them on the train and someone was at the other end. Just think about all the European kids who are probably doing this... lol

Although I understand it might be different because they're on a new continent, but if they're able to have a cell phone and have an adult at each end I wouldn't think it's that bad. Do trains have any type of escort thing like planes do?

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2015 16:38:17 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Eh, I guess I think they would be ok if someone was putting them on the train and someone was at the other end. Just think about all the European kids who are probably doing this... lol

Although I understand it might be different because they're on a new continent, but if they're able to have a cell phone and have an adult at each end I wouldn't think it's that bad. Do trains have any type of escort thing like planes do?

More than likely they'll fly from London to Grenoble (well, Lyon, but the family will meet them there) because it's a much quicker/easier trip and doesn't involve changing trains in Paris.

Ugh, you bring up a good point of cell phones. I think we'll have to look in to prepaid SIMs that work in the UK and France for them.

H and his sister don't seem bothered by them going alone at all, but this seems like such a bad idea.

I don't want to get blamed for losing her children.

[dana86]

I would definitely not send my kids out alone out of country. When they are 18 maybe but never before then especially with how unpredictable things are all over the globe lately- just no.

[MrsPotatohead]

Oh flying?! That's even easier. They have escorts I've seen for kids too. I don't know, this is NBD to me I guess, but my family is very comfortable with travel. I think this is also fairly common in Europe.

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2015 16:53:45 GMT -5 MrsPotatohead said:

Oh flying?! That's even easier. They have escorts I've seen for kids too. I don't know, this is NBD to me I guess, but my family is very comfortable with travel. I think this is also fairly common in Europe.

Urg, I don't know. H's other sister's kids I would feel totally comfortable just sticking on a plane since they've lived in more countries and speak more languages than I do. 

It's just these kids are so... sheltered. 

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2015 16:49:12 GMT -5 dana86 said:

I would definitely not send my kids out alone out of country. When they are 18 maybe but never before then especially with how unpredictable things are all over the globe lately- just no.

I first traveled abroad when I was 15, but it was also a different place almost 20 years ago. 

I just don't feel like I appreciated it when I was 15. Looking back that trip was totally wasted on me. 

Sorry Mom and Dad.

[Deleted]

Barely traveled out of SLC, let alone foreign, let alone alone, let alone not speaking the language AND under 18. I would maybe be fine with it for the 16year-old depending on the individual but not the 14year-old.

[karebear219]

Oh gosh I could go both ways on this. I think it depends on the kids and parents. If it's an issue I would default to what the parents are okay with.

FWIW... I am on team husky on this one. With out knowing more I'd be uncomfortable. I've never been to Europe and my only frame of reference is myself at 16 and I would feel uncomfortable now much more so at 16.

[larzhope]

Um... my parents freaked out when I travelled with a friend alone at 22!!!! I would be super concerned... especially given how sheltered they are.

[Deleted]

Grenoble is so easy to get to. I would let them do it. Everyone, especially in Paris and Grenoble speak English so it's not like not speaking French is a handicap.

My first international trip was alone to Grenoble at 18 to meet a friend who was studying there. I made it despite flight delays that caused me to miss a connecting flight, no cell phone and very limited French.

[MrsPotatohead]

I would add that just because they came from what appears to be a 'sheltered' environment doesn't mean they don't have adventurous personalities. It's not like they've been in a secluded society using horses as the main mode of transportation (I assume), lots of kids who have never traveled can thrive in that environment. So I guess I'd be hesitant to make assumptions about their capability of handling the situation just because of where they grew up. 

Also like I said a lot of airlines have escorts for kids, which is basically what you'd be doing if you took them - they watch them and make sure they end up in the right place with the right people.

[Deleted]

Also I just realized that this is the Seattle board. I thought I was somewhere else... Hi. I'll go now.

[MrsPotatohead]

Jan 13, 2015 18:00:31 GMT -5 @silver said:

Also I just realized that this is the Seattle board. I thought I was somewhere else... Hi. I'll go now.

no stay, I need more people on my side!  lol

[fiddles]

Jan 13, 2015 17:17:17 GMT -5 karebear219 said:

Oh gosh I could go both ways on this. I think it depends on the kids and parents. If it's an issue I would default to what the parents are okay with.

FWIW... I am on team husky on this one. With out knowing more I'd be uncomfortable. I've never been to Europe and my only frame of reference is myself at 16 and I would feel uncomfortable now much more so at 16.

It sounds like the kids are pretty responsible.  I'm team Mr UW on this.  I think if his sister is okay with it, it will be fine.  She knows her kids best right?

Unless, is she usually one that makes idiotic decisions and doesn't have a good head on her shoulders?

[InBetweenDays]

This would totally depend on the kid to me. My sister's 12 and 15 year old have flown alone a number of times. And our good friends' 5 and 8 year old just flew to CA alone (given direct flight in the US but still).

If her parents aren't worried about it then I wouldn't be. I'm sure her SIL's family can meet them at the gate at the other end of the flight.

[niq]

My BFF and I travelled alone in the UK when we were 17. 16 seems fine. 14, I dunno, seems like it might work. I wouldn't worry about language -- enough people speak enough English that they'll get by with a few French phrases. Aren't smartphones basically Star Trek style universal translators at this point?

BUT, and this is awful, women traveling alone or only with other women can get treated pretty shitty in parts of Europe. They're not that enlightened in France, Italy, etc., when it comes to the role of women. It will be less of an issue if they're not out at night, going to bars, etc. Once you've been there a while, you apparently learn to handle random guys asking to marry you, whatever, but it's very jarring.

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2015 18:29:38 GMT -5 niq said:

My BFF and I travelled alone in the UK when we were 17. 16 seems fine. 14, I dunno, seems like it might work. I wouldn't worry about language -- enough people speak enough English that they'll get by with a few French phrases. Aren't smartphones basically Star Trek style universal translators at this point?

BUT, and this is awful, women traveling alone or only with other women can get treated pretty shitty in parts of Europe. They're not that enlightened in France, Italy, etc., when it comes to the role of women. It will be less of an issue if they're not out at night, going to bars, etc. Once you've been there a while, you apparently learn to handle random guys asking to marry you, whatever, but it's very jarring.

That's why I voted no. I went to France with a teacher and another adult and a group of other high schoolers and I found it uncomfortable and jarring and I had adult types (and 3 years of the language classes). But then, I was always a nervous nelly personality and would get nervous flying from Eugene up to Seattle by myself!

I guess in the end, it comes down to what the parents are comfortable with (unless they are airheads). And also, I realize, I didn't quite understand, is it just taking transport from one location to another? I think I misread, I thought they would be hanging out on their own.

[mrslefty]

I'd let them go. Especially if it's a direct flight, honestly it's really not a big deal, my cousin and I started flying to visit my grandparents in Arizona when he was 10 and I was 11. If we could handle a domestic flight then they can handle international.

[Deleted]

H talked to his sister last night and sussed out the situation. She says she's totally fine them roaming around London on their own and going to Grenoble on their own too.

H told her it's probably not a good idea to let them go alone in London since this is their first time in a large city, but she seems breezy.

I don't think she makes bad decisions with her kids, i just don't think she realizes how big London really is. She's never really traveled it off the country either.

Sooo.... Yeah.

I'm staying out of this one now.

[jennlin]

i flew alone when i was 14 from seattle to dallas--i cried. i would like to believe i'm a smart girl who knows her way around..but.....it was scary.

i thought we were meeting at the gate (back when it was allowed), they thought we were meeting at baggage claim. this is also pre-cellphones, so i wasn't able to call.

2 young women traveling alone scare me, though.

[InBetweenDays]

This just brought up a memory of when I was 12 or 13. My friend N)and I were flying from St. Paul, MN to Ft. Lauderdale, FL to visit a friend of N's mom's. Just the two of us. N's parents weren't going, my parents weren't going, and my parents had never even met the person with whom we were staying. Well my friend is notoriously late for everything, including (almost) that flight. I was at the gate with my parents, about to fly down to visit with someone I didn't know, and N wasn't there. My parents were going to still make me get on the plane since otherwise we'd lose the ticket! Luckily N showed up just in time.

I also flew by myself when I was 13 to see my sister at college in California.

[toratoratori]

Jan 13, 2015 18:00:31 GMT -5 @silver said:

Also I just realized that this is the Seattle board. I thought I was somewhere else... Hi. I'll go now.

NO STAY! I NEED MORE PRETTY PONY PICTURES!

[toratoratori]

I'm not at all concerned about this. 16 and 14 are legit ages to start traveling on your own, especially if you're being dropped off / picked up on both sides of the trip. I took my first plane ride alone when I was 7.