Failed GD test + WTF to my mom

[Deleted]

I found out today that I failed the 3-hour gestational diabetes test I had GD with DS so I expected to have it with DD, but it still sucks. I keep telling myself it's only temporary. I am indulging in one last night of carbs before my diabetic counseling appointing tomorrow, when I'll get the equipment to start monitoring my glucose levels.

I texted my mom that I was bummed. She's a former nurse and currently teaches nursing students. She's (normally) an incredibly kind and compassionate person, we call her "Saint (mom's name)." But today, she texts back "I'm too overloaded to say something supportive tonight. Maybe tomorrow." I text back "alright then", in an attempt to gloss over what I perceived as a rude response. She then goes on to say "the decisions you make dictate the life you lead" and that I wasn't "fulfilling my obligations to the baby." She thinks I GAVE MYSELF GD by eating too many carbs! I texted back that that was physically impossible, and sent her some links about the the causes and risks factors for GD.

What the hell mom?! You're a nurse! Just because she eats no-carb by necessity of being gluten free doesn't mean everyone else is fucking up their lives by eating carbs. I'm a good mother, I refuse to feel guilty for something THAT's NOT MY FAULT.

[curbsideprophet]

WTF?! That is horrible, I'm so sorry.

[sjh722]

Okay, I was prepared from reading the start of your post to gently be like, "well, maybe you took it the wrong way" or "are you sure you're not oversensitive right now?" but WTF? That response is awful. If she was really overloaded, then a. don't respond or b. "I'm so sorry to hear that" END OF REPLIES.

Sorry she said that! And sorry about the GD!

[biogirl21]

I'm so sorry your mom said that. What is it about pregnancy and babyhood that make people lose their filters!?

[mlvmd]

I had GD with DS2 and the nurse told me it was because I drank too much juice since she said I had no other risk factors. I told her I didn't drink juice (okay, maybe a couple of times a year) and she said I must have since she couldn't explain why else I would have it. I am pretty sure the look on my face was priceless.

I'm sorry your mom was so unsupportive and my deepest sympathies for the next weeks!

[pugz]

Dude

[yellowbrkrd]

Wow! I'm sorry she said that. Hopefully she'll realize it and apologize.

[azurely]

Wtf? I'm sorry she said that. She definitely needed some education on GD, so good for you for sending her that stuff.

Ditto @cse1960 though, is there something going on with her? My mom sounds similar- nicest person ever, always supportive and helping others, and if she said something like that, I'd seriously question her state of mind.

[krystee]

Sorry you have GD. I have it too and it's no fun. I hope your mom is more supportive soon and that all is okay with her.

[cece]

Wow. Sorry about the GD and sorry about your Mom's response. Why do Moms feel like they have free reign to say whatever when it concerns their daughter's pregnancy. Gah....just be supportive that is all.

[Deleted]

Jan 13, 2015 20:48:09 GMT -5 azurely said:

Ditto @cse1960 though, is there something going on with her? My mom sounds similar- nicest person ever, always supportive and helping others, and if she said something like that, I'd seriously question her state of mind.

And @cse1960, I'm guessing she had a drink or two after a bad day. She's overwhelmed with her church duties, work duties, they're moving at the end of the month, too much going on. I'm not going to hold this against her, she's usually an incredibly kind and helpful person. But yeah, why did she feel the need to say anything at all?!

[Deleted]

After reading the links I sent, she responded with "Sorry. Glad to be wrong. Thanks. Sorry you have this to deal with. Very hard week for you." I appreciate the apology. But, even if I *could have* given myself GD, she was judging me for that? My parents make plenty of bad decisions too, like buying this new $350K house on a 5/1 ARM at 65 and 71 years old. But I judge them privately to DH KWIM? I don't say anything to them!

[redheadbaker]

WTF?? I'm so sorry your mom was so awful to you.

[chicago]

Ugh, I'm sorry about your GD. I had it with my pregnancy and I remember that stupid call and the appointment and all of the stuff that came along with it. No fun. I'm glad you are trying to educate your mom. That was a really insensitive, ignorant comment to make to you, and clearly unnecessary. I hope she apologizes.

[Deleted]

WTF to your mom!!!!

[oswin]

Sorry to hear about the GD, that sucks. Glad your mom apologized, but what an awful thing to say in the first place.

[waterchurch]

I'm glad she apologized, but still sorry that it happened. Being attacked like that from someone you consider safe isn't a good feeling. Sorry about the GD, too.

[estrellita]

I won't tell people at work I have GD because of the blaming thing. My mom does it with a coworker and it's really frustrating! Every time she tells the story of what coworker was eating one day, the amount of food goes up. I think she's up to a foot long plus a 6 inch sub and 3 cupcakes or something. We'll see what it is next time Seriously though, I struggled with not blaming myself so how horrible for her to say that to you!

Sorry about the GD.. it's not fun (as you know!). We started a weekly GD check in on GP if you're interested at all FYI! There are unfortunately a few of us so it's nice to complain about it together!

[undecidedowl]

Ouch. It sucks when the people you expect to be supportive aren't. Glad she read what you sent and changed her tune.

So sorry you have to deal with this again. I know you are doing your best to take care of that baby!

[Ashley&Scott]

Sorry to hear about the GD diagnosis & your moms unsupportive reaction. Glad she apologized, sounds like maybe she was having a rough day & just blurted out her initial response without thinking.

[MrsAggie]

Sorry My mom thought unhealthy eating and lack of exercise caused my pre-eclampsia.

[game blouses]

I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of the glucose test. The first reply strikes me as even more unkind than the second one. I'd feel stung if my mom couldn't bother to be supportive when I was having a hard time. "I'm sorry to hear that" is much faster to type than "I'm too overloaded to say something supportive."

[stealthmom]

I would ream her the fuck out. You are a better person than me.

[jackpackage]

Whoa, that's harsh! Sorry about the GD and that she wasn't supportive. 

[Deleted]

Jan 14, 2015 0:05:28 GMT -5 game blouses said:

I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of the glucose test. The first reply strikes me as even more unkind than the second one. I'd feel stung if my mom couldn't bother to be supportive when I was having a hard time. "I'm sorry to hear that" is much faster to type than "I'm too overloaded to say something supportive."

It's really not like her to be this way. She's usually super sweet, supportive and kind. That being said, carbs and sugar are her hill to die on. Her mother had legit celiac disease, and my mom went gluten free about 5 years ago to stop persistent stomach problems. She's lost that last stubborn 15 pounds we'd all love to lose, looks great, much happier. So she thinks that's what everyone should be doing. I joke to DH that her food is "birdseed" b/c she's always making some gluten-free toasted quinoa and chicory-type weirdness that tastes like, well, birdseed. She gives me the side-eye when I order pancakes at the diner after church. But this is the first time she's spoken rudely to me about it.

[212]

Not cool.

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[winemaker06]

Jan 14, 2015 0:16:08 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Jan 14, 2015 0:05:28 GMT -5 game blouses said:

I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of the glucose test. The first reply strikes me as even more unkind than the second one. I'd feel stung if my mom couldn't bother to be supportive when I was having a hard time. "I'm sorry to hear that" is much faster to type than "I'm too overloaded to say something supportive."

It's really not like her to be this way. She's usually super sweet, supportive and kind. That being said, carbs and sugar are her hill to die on. Her mother had legit celiac disease, and my mom went gluten free about 5 years ago to stop persistent stomach problems. She's lost that last stubborn 15 pounds we'd all love to lose, looks great, much happier. So she thinks that's what everyone should be doing. I joke to DH that her food is "birdseed" b/c she's always making some gluten-free toasted quinoa and chicory-type weirdness that tastes like, well, birdseed. She gives me the side-eye when I order pancakes at the diner after church. But this is the first time she's spoken rudely to me about it.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that on top of your news! Hopefully you'll get back in the swing of the diet and before you know it, will have a baby!

Gluten-free and low/no-carb are not the same thing though. So it's weird that she connects them. But she should be more supportive of something not at all your fault!

[Deleted]

Jan 14, 2015 5:48:03 GMT -5 winemaker06 said:

Jan 14, 2015 0:16:08 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

It's really not like her to be this way. She's usually super sweet, supportive and kind. That being said, carbs and sugar are her hill to die on. Her mother had legit celiac disease, and my mom went gluten free about 5 years ago to stop persistent stomach problems. She's lost that last stubborn 15 pounds we'd all love to lose, looks great, much happier. So she thinks that's what everyone should be doing. I joke to DH that her food is "birdseed" b/c she's always making some gluten-free toasted quinoa and chicory-type weirdness that tastes like, well, birdseed. She gives me the side-eye when I order pancakes at the diner after church. But this is the first time she's spoken rudely to me about it.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that on top of your news! Hopefully you'll get back in the swing of the diet and before you know it, will have a baby!

Gluten-free and low/no-carb are not the same thing though. So it's weird that she connects them. But she should be more supportive of something not at all your fault!

She's gluten free AND low carb. No gluten foods (bread, pasta, tortillas, grains, etc) AND low carb (no fruit, potatoes, etc).

[Ashley&Scott]

Jan 14, 2015 9:04:54 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

Jan 14, 2015 5:48:03 GMT -5 winemaker06 said:

I'm sorry you're dealing with that on top of your news! Hopefully you'll get back in the swing of the diet and before you know it, will have a baby!

Gluten-free and low/no-carb are not the same thing though. So it's weird that she connects them. But she should be more supportive of something not at all your fault!

She's gluten free AND low carb. No gluten foods (bread, pasta, tortillas, grains, etc) AND low carb (no fruit, potatoes, etc).

What does she eat... serious question. I would be so sad without all of those foods

[Deleted]

Jan 14, 2015 11:25:34 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

Jan 14, 2015 9:04:54 GMT -5 @supergreen said:

She's gluten free AND low carb. No gluten foods (bread, pasta, tortillas, grains, etc) AND low carb (no fruit, potatoes, etc).

What does she eat... serious question. I would be so sad without all of those foods

I'm so sad without all those foods too! She eats lots of meat, cheese, leafy vegetables, eggs, and nuts. She'll eat a little fruit, like berries, but not "carby" fruit like apples or bananas. It's hard cooking for her, let me tell you what! I usually invite them over for brunch, because I can make bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs with cheese, and some berries. Or I make her a frittata (quiche with no crust) full of kale and cheese.