1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
2. How does pump and dump work? When is the optimal time to pump after drinking? I honestly wouldn't even pump as I only want a beer or small glass of wine but DH doesn't think I should drink anything and then feed C )and he has no basis for this reasoning).
1.h only helps MOTN when I ask which is if they both wake. Honestly if we had one baby I'd pry do it all.
2. If you feel fine dont dump. I drank on NYE and didnt dump any.
how can you measure letdown? FWIW, the craziness typically happens quite a bit into the feeding. At first I thought it was because he couldn't keep up and now it seems like maybe he's not getting as much as he would like. Typical feedings are 30 min. He seems to be growth spurting non-stop right now (he's 3w3d old).
There is a 3 week growth spurt, I would guess you have hit that. If he's acting that way further along into the feeding I would try to switch sides. When DD acts like that (which usually is only during a growth spurt), changing sides seems to help. You can't really "measure" your let down. I had an over active let down, which meant she was getting a lot at the very beginning. I could tell because I could her her gulping when she would first start to nurse. I never really felt my let down, but others who have a more noticeable feeling letdown may have ideas on how to measure it.
If switching sides doesn't work, or you have already switched sides, try burping when he starts to act like that. DD, especially when she was tiny, would fuss like that when she needed to come off and be burped.
definitely 3 wk growth spurt. But, it started Sat and yesterday was a "good/calm/normal feeding" day. Last night and today, not so much...he's back to only wanting to eat and not sleeping.
You can't really measure it, more just gauge if it's overly fast or slow. Some people can feel when they let down; I've never really been able to. If he seems like he's still hungry, can you switch him to the other boob? Or, it could be a gas bubble. Do you burp mid-feed?
I have tried switching sides and burpng...both work occasionally, there's really nothing consistently that works.
Gas drops? Bicycle legs? Again, the 5 S's were lifesavers for us. I promise it will pass soon.
1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
When H went back to work, he woke up to change L's diaper and then hand him to me for nursing. Some nights I would let H sleep. While I was home on maternity leave, H would come straight home from work so I could get relief. Is this an option for you? I'm sure your H would like to continue his workout routine, but you shouldn't be the only one doing all of the sacrificing. Can your H switch to working out at lunch so he can come straight home, ideally before the witching hour?
Can someone tell me about and introducing WCM? DD will be 11 months next week so I'm not in any rush, but just thinking about how this transition is going to happen.
Right now she has only had water in a straw cup, she drinks maybe an ounce at a time, at meals and a couple other times during the day. (Won't take a sippy at all.)
She currently gets 2 X 3-4 ounce bottles of BM a day on my work days. She is not a big bottle taker and rarely finishes them. I'm thinking it would be good to start with these feedings as the first to be replaced with WCM. I'm excited to ditch the bottles because she is so bad about taking them. We nurse on weekend and days off and I'm not looking to wean any time soon.
Should I just start offering her BM in her straw cup to get her used to having something other than water in there? (I have plenty of freezer milk so don't mind using it for this.)
Should I do that instead of water at mealtimes?
Should I try again with the sippy cup and try to make that her way of milk drinking? They use sippies at the DC where she'll start in a few months. Not sure how that's going to pan out since she totally does not get them.
I'd just offer her WCM at meal times now. A couple of oz is not a big deal. Swap out the bottles for WCM sometime close to a year. Continue nursing when together. Let daycare figure out daycare. She will get more coordinated over the next few months.
1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
2. How does pump and dump work? When is the optimal time to pump after drinking? I honestly wouldn't even pump as I only want a beer or small glass of wine but DH doesn't think I should drink anything and then feed C )and he has no basis for this reasoning).
With DS, my H was extremely helpful. When I was on maternity leave, I usually handed the baby off to him the second he walked in the door and he held him during the witching hour (6-8ish). I would put him down, then my H would stay up until 11 or 12 and handle the first feeding then I handled the feedings after that. Once I went back to work, we rotated nights being "on call" handling the baby's overnight stuff. Once the baby was a bit older, I was in charge of getting him ready for bed and my H would put him down for the night. Even now, that is our routine and sometimes when my H works late, that short amount of time is all he has with DS all day, so its important. That said, I still was very frustrated at times with him and the sleep deprivation. Going from zero to one is a hard, hard transition and it took maybe 6 months for us as a couple to really find our groove. With DD, its different because we have an older child, so we are both on all the time.
Do not feel guilty about having your husband do some of the MOTN stuff. He can get up and change a diaper and hand the baby off to you. He can deal with a fussy baby for awhile after work. If you have to, hand the baby off and go somewhere, anywhere in the house where you don't hear the fussing ( my fave was the bathroom with the fan on and my kindle if I couldn't leave the house). YOU deserve some time to yourself and the first few months are so, so hard. He needs to be pitching in more.
Did anyone successfully discourage finger sucking? DD2 is 9 weeks and I really would rather her take the paci, but she is determined to get her fingers in there too.
DD just started doing 2-3-4 on her own at 8.5 months. She's always been a sleepy baby though.
DD was a big finger/hand sucker. She would take a paci at nap and night though. Sometimes she would have her thumb and paci in her mouth at the same time. Around 7 months or so she started sucking on her hands less. I am not sure if it's because she has teeth now or because she is mobile/busier or because she has better control of her paci. Maybe a bit of all 3? We tried to get her to stop sucking on her hands but nothing really worked.
Does it take some babies a long time to like water and/or the sippy cup?
DD knows how to use a sippy because sometimes she will take big drinks but most of the time she turns away from the cup. We haven't had much success with a straw cup either.
Does it take some babies a long time to like water and/or the sippy cup?
DD knows how to use a sippy because sometimes she will take big drinks but most of the time she turns away from the cup. We haven't had much success with a straw cup either.
I don't think most babies need much water. I really wouldn't worry about it.
1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
When H went back to work, he woke up to change L's diaper and then hand him to me for nursing. Some nights I would let H sleep. While I was home on maternity leave, H would come straight home from work so I could get relief. Is this an option for you? I'm sure your H would like to continue his workout routine, but you shouldn't be the only one doing all of the sacrificing. Can your H switch to working out at lunch so he can come straight home, ideally before the witching hour?
DH wakes up at 5 and has his routine (coffee/internet/bathroom and then workout) until he has to get in the shower at 6. He leaves at 6:45 and is home by 4:30, so definitely home in time for witching hour. I guess I'm just frustrated because last night I fed C and put him in the swing so I could eat dinner. C started fussing and DH didn't go get him because he was busy doing something on the internet. I picked C up and let DH know that it was his turn and he gave me attitude because "he had to eat and finish up internet thing". Sorry dude, you've had plenty of time to take care of that. Also, DS screamed for 2 hours straight last night and DH knows I'm exhausted yet doesn't both to ask if he can help.
DH did say that maybe he can take C once he's home tonight so I can get outside for a walk. We'll see if that actually happens...I'm hoping it does because every time I try to take C out he doesn't like the stroller and the baby carrier is hit or miss. Some exercise and fresh air would be nice.
1. Apparently this is a sign of being ready to potty train. DD1 always peed at night until the day she decided she was too grown up for pull ups at night and just stopped cold turkey.
2. Almost never. The snot gets nowhere close to it. I have changed it a few times -- always after a big illness where we used it a lot.
3. Never :-) I bathe my kids when they're dirty. There are times that's every day (early days of solids for a baby, summer when they swim and get sweaty), but I think every other day -- or even every third day -- is plenty for them. Call me gross if you want :-)
DD is only three months, so I don't think she's quite ready for potty training
I'm glad to see lots of people don't bathe their babies daily; I see it included in a lot of bedtime routines so I thought it must be something everyone did as they got older
DD went through a phase around that age where she woke up dry for a while. It lasted a few weeks I think and then was back to normal. She was peeing a ton during the day and usually had a big wet diaper not long after she woke up do I wasn't worried.
DD is 23 months and we still only bathe every 2-3 days because her skin is very dry.
Does it take some babies a long time to like water and/or the sippy cup?
DD knows how to use a sippy because sometimes she will take big drinks but most of the time she turns away from the cup. We haven't had much success with a straw cup either.
I don't think most babies need much water. I really wouldn't worry about it.
I am not too worried about it right now. I know she gets enough water from her formula but it's making me wonder about how we are going to wean her off of bottles.
I don't think most babies need much water. I really wouldn't worry about it.
I am not too worried about it right now. I know she gets enough water from her formula but it's making me wonder about how we are going to wean her off of bottles.
When H went back to work, he woke up to change L's diaper and then hand him to me for nursing. Some nights I would let H sleep. While I was home on maternity leave, H would come straight home from work so I could get relief. Is this an option for you? I'm sure your H would like to continue his workout routine, but you shouldn't be the only one doing all of the sacrificing. Can your H switch to working out at lunch so he can come straight home, ideally before the witching hour?
DH wakes up at 5 and has his routine (coffee/internet/bathroom and then workout) until he has to get in the shower at 6. He leaves at 6:45 and is home by 4:30, so definitely home in time for witching hour. I guess I'm just frustrated because last night I fed C and put him in the swing so I could eat dinner. C started fussing and DH didn't go get him because he was busy doing something on the internet. I picked C up and let DH know that it was his turn and he gave me attitude because "he had to eat and finish up internet thing". Sorry dude, you've had plenty of time to take care of that. Also, DH screamed for 2 hours straight last night and DH knows I'm exhausted yet doesn't both to ask if he can help.
DH did say that maybe he can take C once he's home tonight so I can get outside for a walk. We'll see if that actually happens...I'm hoping it does because every time I try to take C out he doesn't like the stroller and the baby carrier is hit or miss. Some exercise and fresh air would be nice.
Maybe you can establish a routine for yourself as well since he has a routine. If when he comes home from work, the baby is fed, maybe you can go do something for yourself. Even if that's sitting in the car reading on your phone, or going out for a walk like you said.
It may be helpful for you to tell him exactly what you need from him and how you are feeling if you haven't already. And ideally this would be a time when your LO is napping or sleeping, so neither of you are stressed while having the discussion.
It will get easier, you are doing a great job! I remember feeling like I was on 100% of the time because nursing can really make you feel like that in the beginning.
1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
2. How does pump and dump work? When is the optimal time to pump after drinking? I honestly wouldn't even pump as I only want a beer or small glass of wine but DH doesn't think I should drink anything and then feed C )and he has no basis for this reasoning).
1. I generally did MOTN on my own during maternity leave. I had to be up to feed, so it seemed silly to wake H to change a diaper when I was already up, and he was working all day. He offered to help though. I would have your H try harder at consoling him in the evenings (assuming your DS is not actually needing to eat). Boobs are pretty magical at calming a baby, but the more H worked at it, he found his own ways that he could calm him. Also, sometimes guys are kind of oblivious and just need to be told what to do, "Here, his diaper needs to be changed."
2. You would need to be pretty schmammered drunk to pump and dump. Have a dang beer.
Thanks! We had agreed that DH would be in charge of the "put to sleep" after the 6ish feeding so I could have a break before the night madness began. That lasted about 3 days before C became ultra fussy and only wanting the boob to be consoled. But, I do think that DH has found 1 thing that worked a couple times and stops at that when C doesn't calm down. If it works, great...if not, then he's lost at what to do. He thinks that he can sit in the rocker and watch TV and C will fall asleep; whereas it usually takes quite a bit of rocking, bouncing, walking to get C to settle and go down. Also, I was very blunt about asking for diaper changes, etc in the beginning...it's not until this past weekend that DH finally changed one and is now helping out more with that (probably because I'm refusing to step in without encouraging him to just do it himself when he's holding C).
As for the beer, thank you! I keep telling DH that it's not going to harm C but he's not convinced and it's caused a lot of arguing.
As for the beer, thank you! I keep telling DH that it's not going to harm C but he's not convinced and it's caused a lot of arguing.
you're right and he's wrong. I'd send him a couple links proving you're right, and then i'd enjoy my damn beer.
Actually, I would enjoy my damn beer after I handed the baby off to him and was drinking a beer in peace luv2rn4fun, do not let him make you feel guilty or make it seem like its a burden for him to help with childcare when he isn't working. Having a baby is a huge transition for both of you and he has to make some sacrifices too. As your baby gets older and less fussy, it gets a lot easier, but for now, you are both in survival mode and he needs to take one for the team.
When H went back to work, he woke up to change L's diaper and then hand him to me for nursing. Some nights I would let H sleep. While I was home on maternity leave, H would come straight home from work so I could get relief. Is this an option for you? I'm sure your H would like to continue his workout routine, but you shouldn't be the only one doing all of the sacrificing. Can your H switch to working out at lunch so he can come straight home, ideally before the witching hour?
DH wakes up at 5 and has his routine (coffee/internet/bathroom and then workout) until he has to get in the shower at 6. He leaves at 6:45 and is home by 4:30, so definitely home in time for witching hour. I guess I'm just frustrated because last night I fed C and put him in the swing so I could eat dinner. C started fussing and DH didn't go get him because he was busy doing something on the internet. I picked C up and let DH know that it was his turn and he gave me attitude because "he had to eat and finish up internet thing". Sorry dude, you've had plenty of time to take care of that. Also, DS screamed for 2 hours straight last night and DH knows I'm exhausted yet doesn't both to ask if he can help.
DH did say that maybe he can take C once he's home tonight so I can get outside for a walk. We'll see if that actually happens...I'm hoping it does because every time I try to take C out he doesn't like the stroller and the baby carrier is hit or miss. Some exercise and fresh air would be nice.
Honestly I think its a commom guy thing. H is so good when they're eating or happy. The second they start to fuss he tenses up and doesnt want to deal with them. I finally snapped the other day bc he had an attitude. Sometimes you just have to let them know. I dont expect him to do everything like me bc I think moms naturally can handle screaming babies but they still need to help. Yes they go to work all day but maternity leave is still work. some days when H comes home I just hand him the kids and tell him I'm going to target
1. How helpful was your DH? DH is back to work. C is normally awake from 6-8 pm when DH is home. DH will offer to hold him but C is inconsolible during this time and it usually results in me feeding him and trying to get him down ASAP. Also, DH is zero help since Day 1 in MOTN. I basically feel like I have C responsibilities 22-23 hr/day while DH is at work, is able to workout and get ready for work without worrying about helping with C. It's getting a little old and I've tried bringing it up multiple times but he sees no use in helping with diaper changes/getting C back to sleep since I'm the only one that can feed him.
2. How does pump and dump work? When is the optimal time to pump after drinking? I honestly wouldn't even pump as I only want a beer or small glass of wine but DH doesn't think I should drink anything and then feed C )and he has no basis for this reasoning).
Someone once told me that if you're sober your milk is sober. Don't dump!
Post by luv2rn4fun on Jan 14, 2015 15:56:01 GMT -5
linz- thank you- it's nice to know I'm not alone and DH is just being a guy sometimes. I agree that for the most part I want to be the one consoling C...but when it's been a long day of screaming and no napping I need a break too, especially knowing I have all the nighttime duties. DH has been super helpful with everything else and doing more than normal...I just wish he would think ahead and plan his activities better so that we both get a break (starting a chore after I get done feeding C while you were goofing off on the Internet or watching TV while I feed him is not cool all the time).