Sexy time related...

[Wonderwall]

How soon PP did you and your partner/H get back to sexy time as normal (Or pre- baby) ? Did you ever?

The Critter is 6 mos now and yes the hub and I have had some sexy time here and there but truth be told it's been totally few and far between rounds.

Partially my fault - I work full time and once I'm home I spend time it's the Critter, make dinner, prep for the next morning and after that HOLY CHIT I AM TIRED. I used to always be down for the cause but with the tiredz no clue where my drive has gone.

The hub isn't working right now so he's staying with The Critter during the day. He is also tired.

To be honest both of us have sucked at instigating sexy time with each other the last 6 mos.

Unrelated to any responses below - I will be addressing this soon and will be working on that but I wondered if I'm the only one?

So here's the question - did you two ever get back to your old sexy time ways after having a baby? How soon after?

Any tips for getting that back on point post baby?

[Wonderwall]

Sorry for the typos I'm on the app.

[sjh722]

Uh, it took awhile. It was like 4.5 months pp before we even HAD sex again, lol.

I think she was a year+ before it got back to normal. It takes awhile. (And if you're nursing I think that plays into it too.)

[teatimefor2]

With DS1 we didn't even attempt it until four months PP, but it wasn't until eight or nine months that we were somewhat back to normal. I am now 12 weeks PP with DS2 and although I physically feel much better this time around, I'm tired and DH is tired. Plus DS2 sleeps in our room and I don't want to deal with moving him when he's sleeping or having sexy time on the couch, etc. I like my bed.

But I feel better this time around - I know it will be good again.

[starlily]

We started getting back into the swing of things around 7 weeks pp, BUT remember that we were on a no-intercourse restriction since Dec 2013, so we were both pretty ready for some action. I'd say it took around 2 mos after that before things really felt like they did before - not that things were bad, just different.

ETA: One tip - take advantage of nap time on the weekends.

[niq]

uhhhh, I think we tried at maybe 10-12 weeks? And then very sporadic for a while. And then one or both of us were just in miserable moods (mostly me) for a while and we weren't trying much.

Lately though I feel like we might be "above normal". Baby STTNing plus being good enough at walking that it's not a constant source of stress plus new job that reduces commuting = get jiggy with it!

[Wonderwall]

Jan 14, 2015 16:08:23 GMT -5 sjh722 said:

Uh, it took awhile. It was like 4.5 months pp before we even HAD sex again, lol.

I think she was a year+ before it got back to normal. It takes awhile. (And if you're nursing I think that plays into it too.)

Yea I'm still nursing. Good to know. Fricken hormones,...

[thecatinthehat]

We started at 6 weeks! I had a CS. We did not get back to the same frequency until a few more weeks later. Lube lots and lots of lube! I did not feel "normal" until I stopped breastfeeding (~10 months).

[turtlegirl]

We did it again at 6 weeks both time, DH was dying. I could have cared less, lol.

We probably didn't get back until the regular routine until about 5 or 6 months when my kids regularly STTN.

[game blouses]

7 or 8 weeks for each kid, but it wasn't any good for several months.

[charlotteandwilbur]

We didn't really get back to pre-baby levels until I weaned at a year old, but the good news is that I felt like it was better than ever at that point.

I want to make it more of a priority after DD is born. We'll see how that goes.

[mrsdoe]

Oh and I had a c section so I can't even blame my vag. The pregnancy weight hasn't come off so that's why. :sad face:

[spk926]

I think we waited about 8-10 weeks after she was born and it hurt badly. I had a 4th degree tear and even though I was cleared at 6 weeks honestly I think I should've waited longer. I felt bad though because DH got NONE during my pregnancy so I was trying to be nice. Backfired on me.

Now we have a schedule. As stupid as it sounds, it makes it easier for us. We both know what days to expect it, there is no turning the other person down and no hurt feelings and we can plan our day accordingly to make sure there is time left in the day for it. Also the routine closeness does wonders for our relationship.

[SJ]

I could have written your post.

We have done it, sure, but only like 2x in the last month. Neither of us initiate very much and both seem ok with that (but intellectually I'm not ok with it, because I think it "should" be more)

As you know, DD is exactly your kiddo's age.

[gibbinator]

It was definitely a year, when I partially weaned, before we got back to a normal groove

[Deleted]

Baby #2 was even worse than #1. At around 14 months, we both decided to change things and now we're up to 2-3x a week. Before that, it was about once a week.

[anna7602]

The first time, it took a while. Maybe a year or more. This time, I'm 5.5 months pp and all is good and normal and multiple times per week. I think part of it is that I didn't tear at all in my second delivery and I just healed there more quickly. I'm also not as touched out since my son isn't the round-the-clock nurser my DD was. 

[rikki]

When I went to my check up 4 weeks after birth she said we were fine to start again, but we had actually already done it. I had a very easy delivery with no tearing or stitches. We've been pretty normal since then and we have sex most nights. It is my love language.

[soxin2]

Wait! There's a return to normal?

Everytime we were almost there I got pregnant again. The last one was after having an argument about how it had been over two months. Bam-pregnant. (He's now 3mos old)

I sort of have the libido, but at the same time, I'm all... Can't we just sleep?


(There's seriousness under the snark)

[bowies]

Lolololololol. Still waiting to get back to pre-baby level. It's like 1-2x a month and it took a long time to get there because it hurt like a mofo.

[ginap]

It took a solid year before I was even into sex and my participation was more than taking one for the team. Once I weaned I fully got my sexy back and we starting having sex more regularly. I also find that the more we do it the more I want it but getting over that initial hump (har har) takes effort and there are many nights when I just can't find the energy to put forth the effort.

[MadamePresident]

It's hard, but a kind of important part of your marriage. I've been listening to sexy marriage radio a lot lately and it's been really good to talk about things, which then brings us closer outside of the bedroom, which then moves into the bedroom (or kitchen)

[noodleskooze]

We didn't even attempt until between 4 and 5 months.

[Marmee]

We started at 6wks & pretty much went back to normal soon after....but it wasn't all that fun for me for months because of the damage done from birth. We ttc again starting when DD1 was only like 7 or 8mo old. We had many months of more than normal. Now post 4 kids I'd say just now is it slowing down a tad but I think that's to do with aging (nearing 40) not anything else.

[Wonderwall]

Jan 14, 2015 17:58:22 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

It's hard, but a kind of important part of your marriage. I've been listening to sexy marriage radio a lot lately and it's been really good to talk about things, which then brings us closer outside of the bedroom, which then moves into the bedroom (or kitchen)

Sexy marriage radio? Huh?

[Wonderwall]

Jan 14, 2015 17:41:54 GMT -5 rikki said:

When I went to my check up 4 weeks after birth she said we were fine to start again, but we had actually already done it. I had a very easy delivery with no tearing or stitches. We've been pretty normal since then and we have sex most nights. It is my love language.

Before the baby this was my love language also. :/

[Wonderwall]

Jan 14, 2015 18:06:08 GMT -5 @choco said:

I was pretty determined not to let our sex life slide b/c it's pretty important to both of us. It's always been that way long before we had kids, so I wanted to make sure it stayed that way after. 

Agreed. Thus my concern.

Thank you

[MadamePresident]

Jan 14, 2015 19:02:30 GMT -5 Wonderwall said:

Jan 14, 2015 17:58:22 GMT -5 MadamePresident said:

It's hard, but a kind of important part of your marriage. I've been listening to sexy marriage radio a lot lately and it's been really good to talk about things, which then brings us closer outside of the bedroom, which then moves into the bedroom (or kitchen)

Sexy marriage radio? Huh?

Its a podcast my husband found. They talk about a lot of different issues, different desire levels, setting a good environment, etc..., and it's given us stuff to talk about.

[vanillacourage]

DS1 - 4w
DS2 - 8w, reluctantly (lol)

[carolinagirl831]

I had a csection and really felt pretty normal. We had sex around 8-9 weeks pp.
and really we've 1-2 times a week consistently since. We've always been like that though no big droughts