Cars? I drive a minivan (Odyssey). DH has a Highlander but we rarely take it if we are going out as a family because the minivan is so much easier.
Work? He works full-time but has a fair amount of flexibility when not traveling (though he travels a ton). I work part-time from home ~20 hours a week.
Biggest change? Going back to square one once our older kids were getting to be somewhat manageable and self-sufficient. Giving up free time--I feel like I always have at least one kid with me. People (grandparents, aunts, etc.) are less willing and able to watch three kids for an extended period of time. But really, we found the transition from two to three to be the easiest one.
Post by turtlegirl on Jan 15, 2015 10:39:51 GMT -5
Well, I am pregnant with #3.
We have a 4 bedroom house. Master, office, the boys (age 4 and 2) share a room, and future nursery (which is filled with junk we need to unpack, we moved in about 4 months ago).
We have a Ford Flex. I'm hoping I can fit 3 across in the middle row. Not sure yet. Otherwise a kid will be crawling into the 3rd row until DS1 is ready for a booster.
DH works full time, goes to school 3 nights a week. I work part time (3-4 days a week, about 25-30 hours) and my mom and MIL trade off watching the kids.
Free daycare and having family local is the only way I stay working with 2 and soon to be 3 kids. Otherwise I'd be a SAHM and we would be in a much smaller house.
FTR, I am not any type of pregnant and we are still TTA! And honestly not sure if we'll even go for the 3rd. But these issues come up in every conversation we have about the matter and it's stressing me out.
So, please tell me that we will raise damaged children if we have 3 in a 4br1ba, 1400sqft house, are too cheap to buy a minivan, and both work FT.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?)
What kind of cars do you drive?
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?
We have 3 girls: A&A are 6 and K is 3.
We have 4 bedrooms. A&A share one and K is in 1. We debated separating A&A, but they like sharing and we like having a guestroom.
Two cars that we consistently have all 3 kids in are my Honda Pilot (A&A are in the 3rd row), and nanny drives a Honda CRV -- all 3 kids are in the 2nd row 3 across. DH drives a sedan and has boosters for A&A. He drives K on weekends and uses the nanny car. During the week his car is parked at the train station.
We both work full time. My commute is 10 min, so I do a lot of kid activities and such. DH is 1.5 hours away, so he is gone 7am - 7pm.
Biggest challenge... I don't know. It was so long ago for me DH pretty much handled A&A for the first year+, now he mostly handles K on weekends, since he doesn't see her much during the week. It helps that A&A are mostly in the same activities, although that will not last for ever, so the logistics of having only 2 of us and 3 potentially different things going on is probably the biggest challenge. When K was a baby, it seemed easy, since we had twins previously, so I imagine other people will have a different experience.
Post by penguingrrl on Jan 15, 2015 10:48:23 GMT -5
We're in a 3 bed, 2 bath, but when my youngest was born we were in a 2 bed 1 bath. We moved for Hs job when the youngest was 16 months and upgraded then.
Only H works, but that's because I'm a training spouse to an academic right now. Once he has a permanent job (either tenure track prof or industrial job) I'll hopefully return to the workforce. We haven't decided for sure because there are a lot of other considerations.
I just moved from driving a Honda pilot to a Toyota sienna minivan. I prefer the SUV for looks, but mine died and this was the best option we could find financially. I have to say I didn't realize how much better a minivan would be until I got one.
Post by lurknomore on Jan 15, 2015 10:51:32 GMT -5
Three kids, all girls. Four bedrooms but we use one as an office. The two older girls technically share a room but they just float back and forth between room (bunk beds in one, trundle in the other). Baby is still in with us. We also have a walk up attic with a full bath. Needs renovating but when old enough one can go up there if they want.
We recently got a GMC yukon. Seats 7. It is ok. No cargo space whatsoever. I really wanted captains seating so DD1 could get to the backseat. But with car seats in both middle row seats, she can't get back there anyhow. I'm still not sure I could do a minivan, but I also don't love our car. DH squeezes 3 across the back in his FJ and it works but is crowded. We mostly use his car to and from school. Not a lot more.
Hardest thing...two. Being in the newborn phase again when we were just getting to times of independence. DD3 gets lugged everywhere. She rarely gets a proper nap on the weekends bc sleeping at gymnastics, tennis etc doesn't always work out. Also we took the older two (6 and 3) to Frozen on Ice this weekend and really, it was so nice. They both walked. My friend was talking about taking bike rides to the park and pool this summer. Were so far from that (without our trailer at least). We DD2 was this age, DD1 was still little and not independent. So it seems a lot harder this time around. Second thing is always feeling like one is left out of mom or dads attention. Being outnumbered is hard and I imagine it will get harder.
All that being said, I wouldn't change it for anything! I have no clue how well pull off two working parents with three kids going in different directions. But well figure it out!!
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) 4 bdrms , DD1(almost 7) and DD2(5) share a room. DD3 still is in the "nursery" but in her toddler bed. I like having a guest room but eventually they will all have their own rooms.
What kind of cars do you drive? CRV and Odyssey
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? Yes - 37.5hr a wk for me and 40hr for DH
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? Financially it was harder because for a year we had all three in daycare as well as getting a bigger car to fit all car seats. DD2 starts K this fall so we'll be down to only 1 soon!!!! For me, since 3 was not really planned, adjusting to starting over with diapers, feedings, etc. was hard but the older two loved having a baby sister. Just working out the logistics of getting around with 3 kids 4 and under at the time DD3 was born was a challenge. It got easier around 16-18 months, and now it is a lot easier that DD3 plays with her sisters and is trying to be more independant and was potty trained at 2.5.
We don't have three yet, but I've already started planning.
We have a 3b2b house, 1200 on the main floor, finished basement.
Right now, the boys have separate rooms. Once a #3 comes, the boys will share and #3 will have own room.
I don't plan on getting a different car. I drive a CRV and should be able to get 3 across, even if it means new carseats all around.
We both work and will continue to both work. DH and I will also be going to grad school and have both been in school since before DS1 was born. DH currently is only working, 72/pp and OT when available. I work FT (36+/week) and go to school FT. It's crazy.
DS1 goes to daycare FT, DS2 is home with me. As soon as he gets old enough for the toddler room, he'll be going to daycare FT.
I have no plans or desire to quit working. We've resigned ourselves to the fact that our life is just going to be crazy and we're okay with that for now. If it doesn't work, we'll reevaluate and change things.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?)
3 beds. All boys, 5, 2 and 8 weeks. The older two share a room. The baby sleeps in with us. We plan on having them share for a long time. We like small houses.
What kind of cars do you drive?
Ford wagon. My husband didn't want a minivan. Regret not pushing it. We will probably sell this one and get a minivan in the next year. Three across car seats sucks.
ETA: we don't drive a lot. DH walks to work most of the year.
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?
Kind of? Spouse works 50-60 hours a week and travels 6 weeks or so a year. I work for myself part-time super flexible. Maybe average 10 hours a week when I don't have a new baby around.
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?
Eight weeks into this gig but it's been really rough.
Only 22 months between 2 and 3. It was planned but I prefer the 3 year gap between 1 and 2. Our middle child is really still a baby and he hit the terrible twos overnight after DS3 arrived. We're loving our boys but DH and I both feel like a truck has hit us. Crazy sleep deprivation for a while when DS2 - our awesome sleeper - refused to go to bed for two weeks.
Other parents I know of 3+ have said different things about adding kids. For some 1 to 2 is hardest and for others it's 2 to 3. I think a lot has to do with child temperament and spacing.
If we're feeling crazy and go for a fourth I want at least 2.5 years, preferably 3, between #3 and #4.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?)
What kind of cars do you drive?
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?
1. 5 bedrooms. DD2&3 share now but soon DD1 & 2 will share & DD3 & 4 will share. They are 1, 5, 8(tomorrow) & 10.
2. Nissan Pathfinder (me), Hyundai Sonata (DH). We will be buying a new SUV for the Hyundai soon & I will take that & DH will take the Pathfinder. We are not car people & live in the city. We could easily survive with 1 or even no cars.
3. DH works full-time plus travels some for work but generally he's home by 5:30-6pm every night. I sort of work but not much longer & not many hours a week. I bring DD4 with me & the others are in school.
4. I don't really remember much except being so overwhelmed. My first 3 are all 2yrs apart...DD1 didn't STTN until after DD2 was born, then DD2 had colic forever & then DD3 had developmental issues. I was not a in a good place most of the first year of having 3. Each year since has gotten better. DD4 had colic but I was way more equip to handle it with a 4yr age gap.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) five bedrooms, five full bathrooms
What kind of cars do you drive? I drive a 2004 honda odyssey and DH drives a 2006 honda pilot
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? We both work. I work 40 hours, DH works more, but only 4 days a week (usually, he's military so there are weeks/months he's gone and he also works one weekend a month)
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? It got louder
3 bedroom house, 4 kids (DS is 7 and shares with DD who is almost 5, younger DD's share the smaller room and they are 2 and 8 months.
We have a Mercury Mountaineer and are a one car family. It works out fine for us and saves money.
I am a SAHM and DH works 50+ hours per week
I found going from 2 to 3 hardest because we were officially outnumbered. We want 1-2 more soon and will have to move to a bigger home. We live in LCOL with great public schools and awesome family support. We both have very large and close knit families.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?): 3 bedrooms. All boys, 6, 5, and 2. The older two share a room right now. I'm due in a few weeks with #4 (girl). We're moving shortly after that and everyone will have their own room. My plan if we didn't move was to have the three boys share and keep the third bedroom as a nursery.
What kind of cars do you drive?: DH has a smallish commuter car and I have a minivan Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?: DH works, probably averages 50 hrs a week. I stay home. What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?: Overall I'd say the transition to 3 was the easiest for me so far. The biggest change was just how busy I became on a daily basis. Especially given my kids' ages, there was always someone needing something. That passed as everyone got older and now I don't really think it's all that different than having two was. Just louder maybe
Post by whereintheworld on Jan 15, 2015 11:10:37 GMT -5
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?)
3 boys, ages 5, 3.5 and 2. Currently in a 3 bedroom and no one is sharing (2yo is in a room that is not technically a bedroom) - we've tried sharing and no one slept well and we are in survival mode re: sleep in our house.
In the next 5 years we are planning a major renovation/addition that will add another bedroom. We're in a HCOL and it would be expensive to move, so we'll just add on to our semi-detached 1,500 sq. ft. home instead.
What kind of cars do you drive?
Minivan, Toyota Sienna. Love it.
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?
We both work FT. I work 8am-4pm, H works 8:30am-4:30pm. My commute is 35 minutes on public transit and his is driving 1.5 hours 2x a week and the other 3x a week it is 45 minutes on public transit.
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?
In the beginning it was easy, now that the baby is 2 it is harder! One parent is always out with 1-2 kids and scheduling activities, attending birthday parties, etc. comes down to a lot of logistics conversations so we can successfully divide and conquer. We are also a one-car family which sometimes gets complicated. 3 is really fun, though!
FTR, I am not any type of pregnant and we are still TTA! And honestly not sure if we'll even go for the 3rd. But these issues come up in every conversation we have about the matter and it's stressing me out.
So, please tell me that we will raise damaged children if we have 3 in a 4br1ba, 1400sqft house, are too cheap to buy a minivan, and both work FT.
I already responded to the poll but this isn't far off from us - 3bed2bath 1500 sq ft house (going to add a bedroom evetually, but currently this is our set up), both work FT and our minivan is a 2008 model that we bought used, so nothing fancy. 3 kids and we're all still standing!
Umm, you guys are doing a really shitty job of convincing me this is unmanageable.
And Marmee thanks for mentioning the Pathfinder - I didn't realize it had a 3rd row. That is SO much more appealing to me. I drive a Rogue now and love it, and I hate the idea of a minivan. My commute is long and I need at least AWD because of the location of our house, so I'd only have 1 choice in minivan anyway and the gas mileage would suck. The Pathfinder is about the mileage I get now and has 4WD! Perfect.
Post by electricmayhem on Jan 15, 2015 11:34:50 GMT -5
We have 3 bedrooms, 2 for kids. Right now, DS and DD each have their own room. DS's room is the larger room however, by far, and even before we found out about #3, I had two twin beds in there, figuring that when DD was old enough for a bed, she'd probably want to share a room with her brother for awhile. #3 is a girl though, so at this point, I'm thinking DD1 will move in with DS in 4 months or so, DD2 (due in July) can have the nursery for like two years, then we will put the two girls together in the larger room and move DS back to the smaller room on his own.
DH and I each have Honda Accords. We're actually debating right now whether to keep both and get Diono car seats for all three kids, or trade in mine for a (used) minivan. I don't see myself as a minivan driver. However, my sister has one and I can't argue with how much easier it makes hauling kids around, particularly when all three need full carseats.
We both work. I'm in education; I work ~37 weeks a year. DH has a flex schedule--he works 70 hours one week, zero week 2, then 40 week three. Repeat, repeat, repeat. (His 70 hour week is overnights). His employer offers both backup and sick daycare, which are truly a saving grace.
I don't know what the biggest challenge will be yet. ETA: I amend this. Daycare costs will unquestionably be our biggest challenge. DS starts kindergarten in a year and a half, so I know it's finite, but it's giving me a lot of anxiety.
Right now, the hardest parts of my day (aside from getting DS to STAY IN HIS BED at night, lol) are getting everyone out the door, into daycare, picked up and brought home again. I hope a minivan will help this! :-) We don't have any family nearby, and when they visit, they are always less than helpful, so I don't expect that to change. DS is 3.5 and still refuses to poop on the toilet. He isn't great at following directions either, but I'm praying both will work themselves out in (a short amount of) time. DD is pretty sensitive and will be 20 months when DD2 is born; I worry a lot about everyone getting enough sleep and attention.
3 bedroom house. J is 2.5, girls are 10mos and share a room. We will eventually move to a 4 bedroom house but we want to stay in our town. Homes are super pricey so it will be a while before we can afford to buy a bigger home.
We drive a Toyota Sienna and Honda CRV. We have yet to drive all 3 kids in the CRV because it's not convenient.
We both work full time. H works about 50 to 55 hours a week. I work 40 with an occasional 45 hour week or more.
Eta: sorry, hit enter too soon. I can't speak to biggest challenge from 2 to 3 because I went 1 to 3.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) We have a 4 bedroom house. Currently DD1 (5.5) and DD2 (almost 3) share a room. They don't like to be alone. So we have bunk beds for them in the biggest room besides the master. DS has his own room however I usually keep him in the pack n play in my room since he doesn't sleep all the way through the night.
What kind of cars do you drive? I bought a minivan (Honda Odyssey) when I was pregnant with my 3rd. I'm glad I did. H has a Nissan Maxima. But he doesn't do much pick up and drop off.
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? Yes. H works 40+ hours a week (its a new job and he has only been there a month, but it appears he will be working more like 45 hours per week at least). I work 37.5 hours which is considered full time at my job.
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? The transition of having baby #3 was a piece of cake. The harder thing in all this is arranging schedules with all of them as DD1 started kindergarten this year. I miss the days where they all go to the same place for daycare. But otherwise we have been doing well with 3.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) For the first 3 years of having 3 kids, we had a 3 bedroom. My older 2 (girl and boy) shared a room as they had the most similar sleeping schedule. We recently moved into a 4 bedroom.
What kind of cars do you drive? minivan & sedan (we survived a few years with a mustang as the secondary car)
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? i stay home
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? being outnumbered. It seemed harder to find a moment to yourself, as there was always a kid needing something, having an activity to get to, etc. I think it was easier in some regards and harder in others, but overall it was an easier transition than adding #2.
Post by Willis Jackson on Jan 15, 2015 12:39:29 GMT -5
3 bedrooms- 5yo boy and 3yo girl share a room. 5mo boy has his own. We're house hunting and I'm open to having 3 bedrooms again and having the boys share long-term.
Me- Mazda 5 (3 rows- car seats for everyone and room for a friend) DH- Toyota Corolla (only has car seats for 5yo and 3yo). He will get another small, fuel-efficient car when it dies.
DH works 40 hrs/week. I SAH.
The biggest challenge was my oldest's behavior upon starting kindergarten, which coincided with #3's birth. If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't have had a baby right when one of the older ones was dealing with a big transition. Also, my least favorite thing is breaking up big kid fights while nursing/holding a sleeping baby. That's when I feel most overwhelmed.
Post by barefootcontessa on Jan 15, 2015 12:41:36 GMT -5
I will answer for when we just had three kids. We lived in a three-bedroom house and I drove a Toyota Camry with three car seats across. Like everything, so much depends on your own personal situation and personality. I had three under three and found it manageable. At that time I worked about 10 hours/week with a a few weeks a year logging 40+ hours. My DH worked a lot of hours but did not travel and was home most weekends. The hardest thing was having to teach the little kids to be patient while I tended to the baby. But ultimately that has been a good thing. I find things more challenging now that my kids are older because I am dealing with teasing, fighting, etc. That is way more exhausting to me than little kid stuff.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) 4 BR. We lived in a 3 BR until DD2 was 18 months. She had her own room, and the older 2 shared. DS was 3/4, DD1 was 5/6.
What kind of cars do you drive? I have an Odyssey, DH has a Camry.
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? DH works about 60 hours a week. One FT job that has OT, one PT job on Sundays. I am a SAHM, but babysit a toddler 3 days/week and have a very flexible, very PT (10ish hours) WFH gig.
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? I get less one on one time with each kid. We hardly ever eat out anymore. It's louder. I suck at coming up with things, but that must mean it isn't anything too awful! Good changes are seeing DS as a big brother. He is amazing with DD2. And having 2 of the same sex. Love the girls interacting.
#3 won't be here for a couple more weeks, but I still thought I could answer
We currently have 3beds/2.5baths, but we're hoping to finish our basement within the next two years to add another bedroom and bath. For now, the older boys (5 and 4) just started sharing a room so we could get the nursery set up for #3.
We have a used Toyota Sienna and DH has a Jetta. I don't forsee us using the Jetta much for all of us once #3 is here. The backseat barely fits the two car seats we have in there. I do not regret getting a minivan. It is so freaking convenient.
DH works 40 hours a week, plus sometimes works a few hours from home. I work 48 hours per month, so usually 12-16 hours a week, and most of that is when DH is home so that we don't have to find childcare. Family is nearby, but only able to help sometimes.
We'll see how the transition goes. 1-2 was tricky because they are only 13 months apart. This age gap is going to brand new to us.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?)
What kind of cars do you drive?
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours?
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3?
We have 4 bedrooms. DD2 and DD3 share a bedroom. They are 15 months apart, so it worked out really well.
We have 2 cars. A minivan and an old neon. DH drives the neon back and forth to work. I use it when I go to volunteer meetings or don't have the kids. When it finally dies (which will probably be in the next year or so) we will keep the minivan as Dh's work car and get a new van for me. The one thing that sucks is that even with a minivan, when you add 4 car seats or boosters, there is no room for an extra person. Our neon sucks because if something happens to the minivan we can only fit half of the family in it. It's paid for though so we deal with it until it dies.
I stay at home. The cost of 4 in care wasn't worth me having a job. DH has a flexible job and is able to work remotely too if needed. We are very fortunate in this regard.
I honestly didn't think adding #3 was that hard or that much of a change. I don't know how much of that has to do with DD2's personality and how much was that we were experienced parents. She was also a great sleeper, so that definitely helped. #4 was fairly easy to add too. At that point it was just crowd control. That's not to say every moment was awesome, but it certainly didn't traumatize us. The youngest two just sort of blending into our lives and started being dragged along to all of classes and play dates.
Personally I thought adding #2 was the hardest and biggest change. DS was a difficult baby and even though we were more sure of ourselves as parents, we weren't used to juggling attention and kids like we were when #3 and #4 came along.
How many bedrooms does your house have? (What ages/genders are your kids if they share a room?) Four bedrooms. DD (4 1/2) has her own. The boys (almost 3 and 16 months) are 19 months apart and share. We have one open bedroom that is the nursery and it's connected to the master by French doors. The changing table and glider live there along with a guest bed. We also have a finished guest bedroom in our otherwise unfinished basement. Our home is 2200 square feet excluding the basement. I feel that it's plenty big, even if we have a fourth child.
What kind of cars do you drive? I drive a VW Routan, DH drives a VW GLI. He can only fit two car seats so family trips = the minivan
Do you and your spouse both work, and if so, how many hours? Nope, I'm at home. DH is out of the house from 7:40-5:30 but travels sporadically and usually for at least one week a month.
What was the biggest change going from 2 to 3? 2-3 was the easiest transition, by far.
Personally I thought adding #2 was the hardest and biggest change. DS was a difficult baby and even though we were more sure of ourselves as parents, we weren't used to juggling attention and kids like we were when #3 and #4 came along.
I agree with this. Going from 1-2 was the hardest for us.