Is my child old enough to understand long term incentives?

[karinothing]

I don't know if she is not getting it vs. Not caring and just wanting the dress. I think she is old enough to get that you can only get something if you do something.

[karinothing]

Okay i get that. DS works well with long term goals but we combine with sticker chart so he can see a visual count down to the goal.

[karinothing]

Made it ourselves. Nothing fancy just boxes on poster paper

[ryry]

I think she's too young. When dd1 was 2 we would offer rewards for when she stayed in her bed all night. We started by saying she needed to stay in bed 3 nights to get whatever reward. It never worked. We had to immediately praise and reward for her to get it, so I picked a bunch of things from the dollar spot at target and she could choose each morning if she stayed in her bed.

We gave two m&ms each time she used the potty. She loved that reward!

[Brie]

C would not understand that and they're the same age. Rewards have to be pretty immediate for him.

[Deleted]

DS is 35 months and would not understand that. He understands "later today or tomorrow" as the longest-term incentive. He certainly wouldn't understand the PTing thing. He's also regressed on his PTing, I'm trying to be breezy about it.

[Deleted]

She's too young I'd say. My 3.5 year old sort of gets the concept but not really. And if I'm entirely honest I'm horrible about enforcing those things long term too..ha. Too much work, too much stress.

She's just a very see it, do it, get the reward, move on sort of kid.

I've had better luck with something small (doing an art project with her, getting a sticker etc. etc. Nothing big) after every day/every time/something close in time.

A lot of praise actually works best for her right now. Esp. If I tell it to H. "Did you know what Rubes did today? She was such a big girl! She did X. Ask her!" Then she tells the whole story in great detail and gets all proud. It's the cute part of 3 year olds..ha.

[pinkpinot]

No. I say this with confidence because I just watched this marshmallow video with 4 year olds (newest Troublesome Tots post about crib transition to big kid bed) and kids don't understand long term reward for awhile. They are all given a marshmallow but if they don't eat it they'll get 2 marshmallows in 15 minutes but none of them understand waiting to get a bigger reward.

Google marshmallow test.

[karinothing]

For us with long term goals we talk about them a lot. Like once every hour at least ha ha

[karinothing]

Jan 17, 2015 16:04:24 GMT -5 @starry said:

Alright I really want her to have the dress before she grows out of it so I will be on the lookout for a situation where her behavior over a short period would earn it

Staying in her bed till the sun comes up!

[Brie]

Jan 17, 2015 16:02:58 GMT -5 pinkpinot said:

No. I say this with confidence because I just watched this marshmallow video with 4 year olds (newest Troublesome Tots post about crib transition to big kid bed) and kids don't understand long term reward for awhile. They are all given a marshmallow but if they don't eat it they'll get 2 marshmallows in 15 minutes but none of them understand waiting to get a bigger reward.

Google marshmallow test.

My H is 30 and still fails this test on, like, a daily basis. He will be all, "suck it, marshmallow test!" and eat cookies before they cool or something. Lol.

[robot]

I think 26 mths is too young, unfortunately. They forget stuff fairly quick though, so just put the dress away for a week or two....then..bring it back out in another context maybe? f

fyi - potty training is tough, you might need shorter term goals for her. It was quite a process for us. I had much better luck when I quit for awhile, and waited until she was more interested.

[curbsideprophet]

If you can wait that long, I think filling up a sticker chart is an okay idea. She may not be completely trained, but it would combine short and long term.

[loskadoodle]

If you want to potty train her, the. I think you need to actually potty train her. The 3 day method is really good. For Ds (2.5) the first day was awful. He pooped/peed his underwear, every time. The second day he had no accidents and has been great since. Poop was a little harder but 3 weeks in and he will poop on he potty by himself now. He has even woken up in the morning dry the past 3 days.

But back to your original question, I think Ds would've been the same way if it was something he really wanted. Maybe start a sticker chart for potty and Elsa is at the end?