Should I go to this wedding shower?

[steph96]

Two or three weeks ago I received a FB invite (she only sent out ~45 invites, so it wasn't to everyone) to an ex-coworker's wedding shower that she is throwing for herself. She wrote on the description that she didn't have everyone's address, but if you messaged her with it, she would mail you an invite. I messaged her my address. I still haven't received an invite in the mail. The shower is in 2 weeks. I know she can be a flake, but come on! If you are going to throw a shower for yourself, at least mail out invites.

It is about an hour and a half away from where I live. Since we quit working together, we really don't talk much. We try to make plans together, but it seems like she almost always flakes out or if she does come, she can only stay for like 30 minutes because her FI wants to go hang out with his friends (they can't do anything apart!). I doubt I will be invited to the wedding unless she is waiting until the last minute to send out invites to her October wedding.

Should I go to the shower? If I buy her a gift, how much should I spend?

[hannamaren]

Nope.
I would just send regrets and I wouldnt send a gift.

[sarahbear]

If she wanted you therre you would have received an invite already.

[Deleted]

I'm standing in a wedding on October 6th and haven't gotten an invite yet either. I assume I'm invited - it is 2 months away. Hopefully the fact you are invited to the shower means you will get a wedding invite.

I wouldn't go or send a gift unless you want to. The facebook and throwing her own shower thing don't bother me. Despite it being against "etiquette" to throw your own shower, I think it is no mystery that a shower is a standard part of the wedding process these days so I don't find it appalling as others tend to.

[dexteroni]

No way. I wouldn't even have given my address for a "real" invitation.

[chessie]

No way. Though I have a policy any facebook invites I ignore anyway.

[mbcdefg]

I wouldn't go and wouldn't send anything