Depends on the child and the circumstances. 1) Is little Johnny recovering from a cold and kept me awake the night before? Yeah, I'd skip the party. 2) If my child was a total bear on the regular if wakened early from a nap, I'd skip the party.
With both options I would have RSVP'ed that we weren't coming: #1 would have been the day of the party; #2 would have been done at the get-go.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
she should have said no from the start; her kid naps during the party time, and she had no intention of interrupting the nap schedule. Which is fine, but say so.
Calling you half a dozen times when she knew you had company was stupid.
She probably couldn't stand the RSVP guilt which is why she felt compelled to keep calling to 'splain herself. lol
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
We would have either gone for an our or so and then left early, or arrived an hour late.
DS has done pretty well when he's had half his nap, either by going down early and being woken, or going down a bit late. He does wake up cranky. But by the time get to our destination and he's distracted, he perks up.
I wouldn't have wanted to miss misotiny's party so I would have RSVP'd that it was during our son's normal nap time but we WOULD make the party for at least some of it.
Our son is/was pretty relaxed as a person so he was never too put out without a nap, and he LOVES social things (always has) so I would probably have gone for a longer drive to get to your house and hoped for whatever we got in a car nap.
I would NOT have given your phone a play-by-play. Nobody wants to deal with that at their kid's party.
Congratulations on your 1 year old! My, that seemed to go fast!
Depending on how "spirited" my 20 month old is, napping is not for the benefit of the child as much as it would be to give me a break
That said, at 20 months, I would have skipped nap, gone to the party and left early if he was a nightmare.
Your friend sounds like my sister...who, as my BIL (her H) nailed as "You're in the middle of living life and making a memories and BAM, naptime." lol.
We are in this situation right now. We were supposed to go to our friends DD's sweet 16 party at 1pm but my little terror needed a nap badly. I put him him down at 12. I was planning on skipping it all together (he'll be 3 in a couple weeks) but he was laying on the kitchen floor and just being a nightmare. I sent my friend ONE text and let her know the situation. We're going to be at least 2 hours late and I hate that but I'd rather not bring a party pooper!
For me, if I knew I could not push my kid's nap back, I would have sent regrets from the start. But most likely I would have gone and maybe left a little early.
Either this, or I would have left H ( and/or I would have stayed depending if it was his friend or mine hosting) home with the napper and taken any other non napping children with me.
A remote 3rd possibility is skipping the nap and praying they can power through or crash on one of us at the party.
Post by hopecounts on Jan 25, 2015 16:52:45 GMT -5
At 20 months I would've rsvp'd my regrets from the start. DD was a strict napper 12:30-3 and trying to mess with that was absolute hell for anyone forced to be around her for about 72 hrs. not worth it for a bday party.
The boys will be 3 in April and still need a 2 hour nap. They nap from 1:30-3:30. I live in the city and most of my friends have moved to the burbs. Play dates usually conflict with naps but I try to time it so they nap a little in the car.
They miss naps 3 days a week when they are at school and the hours 4-7:30 when we put them down are horrendous and may result in a night terror.
For a friend's party? Where they will have cake and fun? They can skip nap and go to bed a little earlier. And H and I can have an extra hour or two at night without them. Win win
I worked around nap times with birthday parties but David has always been an amazing sleeper, moving his nap time would not have been a big deal and he'd sleep in the car. If we had sleep issues, I can see how it would be different.
Both my girls were pretty flexible with their naps and are happy when waken. Thrrefore, I would have attempted an earlier nap and woken them to arrive on time or slightly late.
Post by AllieHound on Jan 25, 2015 20:05:05 GMT -5
With my kid, I would've pushed the nap back, came in time and left when he got cranky. We can mess with his nap schedule without too many problems, but he is a beast to wake up before he's ready.
But if he was a kid who needed naps at a certain time, I would've RSVP'D no, or of was my BFF, would've explained the situation and told her we'd be there if we could.
We would've woken them up at the last possible moment and attended, but DDs are pretty go-with-the-flow about their routines. That's actually what we did do with J2 yesterday.
If I knew that they'd be complete terrors without their regularly scheduled nap, then I'd just decline the invitation from the start.
Yesterday, we had misotiny's party. I thought it went pretty well.
A friend of mine never showed up. I didn't look at (or hear) my phone the entire time. When I got home and checked my phone, it had a series of texts and voicemails telling me that my friend's kid was still napping. It was like a play-by-play. Kid is about 20 months old.
Finally, at around 2:30, the last text said, "Kid is awake! Can we still come? Is 3 p.m. a hard stop?" Kid napped for a total of three hours.
The party was from noon to 3.
If you had been in my friend's shoes, what would you have done?
And how do you feel about this situation generally?
I know parents like the friend you described but I can't relate to that style of parenting. I think it is insane to behave as if every single day will be the same as the last. She should have declined the invite knowing her child would still be sleeping actually. I skipped naps for parties and lived to tell the tale. Also, I had two cranky kids afterward not just one. #martyr
First kid? I would have RSVP'd no. Second kid? I would have woken up the kid to arrive a bit late. Third kid? Skip the nap and go to the party, lol. We basically never stay home on purpose for Alex's nap.
My DD2 is 22 months. With her, we would have been fine keeping her up through the party time and giving her a late nap or early bedtime depending on her mood. She typically takes a 3 hour nap during the day if she isn't bothered but doesn't seem to mind an altered or late nap.
Post by vanillacourage on Jan 25, 2015 21:06:19 GMT -5
Asking you if she could come over after the party was over is not good. When we host a lot of people, by the last 20 minutes I'm clock watching wondering when people will head out so I can clean up the mess in peace and quiet. Then I pour another drink and calm down. Still, having someone new walk in the door right as everyone else was leaving would be really irritating.
Now that we've established that we generally agree re protocol, I can tell you that this friend is the guy who thinks I'm his soulmate.
Doesn't that make the multiple frantic texts more hilarious?
Lol.
Lol! Clearly he desperately wanted to see you. Preferably as the crowd was thinning out so he could get more facetime. He's going to hold this against his kid forever.
Now that we've established that we generally agree re protocol, I can tell you that this friend is the guy who thinks I'm his soulmate.
Doesn't that make the multiple frantic texts more hilarious?
Lol.
Lol! Clearly he desperately wanted to see you. Preferably as the crowd was thinning out so he could get more facetime. He's going to hold this against his kid forever.
Post by suburbanzookeeper on Jan 25, 2015 22:00:05 GMT -5
If nap time was that religious in my house I would have sent my regards and left it at that. My kids are terrible nappers though so we just go with the flow. I would have had them nap in the car since traffic can make a 15 minute drive 60+ minutes and if I got lucky enough to hit no traffic, hit a drive-thru Starbucks and wait it out while playing on my phone/reading a magazine or cut their nap early.