f/u to "Should I go to this shower"

[Deleted]

Well I took your advice got a gift (decided I was being overly sensitive about nothing) and went to the shower. It was scheduled for 2.5 hours in the middle of the workday. I was way too busy to stay the whole time so I stayed an hour and left.

Even though 5 of us from our old job now work here I was the only one and the shower. I thought to myself maybe you ladies were right and that I should really be more supportive of her.

Well I just got an email out of the blue from one of the girls from our old office asking me if I knew anyone looking for a job. Well we discussed that and I mentioned that “pregnant coworker” was pregnant and doing well. She responded that oh yeah she knew b/c all the other girls from the office went to “pregnant coworkers” shower this past Sunday and how come I did not come…umm I wasn’t invited.

Hmm. Now I feel like a sucker. Oh well you live you learn.

[hopecounts]

Why? If she knew you were invited to the work shower it would've been rude to invite you to the other shower.
She probably assumed you'd prefer to come to the work one since that's your main contact.

[Deleted]

Are you still being petty? LOL. I think it would have been rude to invite you to her friend shower since she didn't even RSVP to yours.

[Deleted]

I don't see why you're a sucker. Quit looking for reasons to not be her friend, if you don't want to be friends, just don't call her or accept future invites. It's really very easy to do.

Although I've never understood why people make such a big deal about showers. I barely wanted to be invited to my own

[hamster]

Why does this make you a sucker? I'm confused...

[noodleoo]

THAT SUCKS. Well, at least now you know for sure how this woman rolls. Time to cut ties and be done with it.

Random: how do you get away with a 2.5 hr shower in the middle of a work day? Sigh. I hate my job.

[Deleted]

? I am so lost here. I have no idea what 2.5 hours in the middle of the work day has to do with you being a sucker or not friends any longer with this woman.

But to answer what I would have done, either come in earlier or worked later or worked through a lunch hour to make up for the longer break to attend the shower or only attended for as long as I could (like you did). I don't see the big deal here.

[Deleted]

It's not about the shower. It's just her in general. She has invited me to lunch and stood me up 2x in the past few month. She bent over backward to get the others hired from our old job here but did never assisted me or even told me about openings.

Last year my shower host sent her an invite and she did not even respond. Her shower hosts send an invite to her shower with a link to her registry with a crap load of pricey items. Lastly, she invites everyone else from our old team to her personal shower and only sends me an invite to her work shower.

I would have preferred no invite. It's fine if she “isn’t” my BFF but then stop inviting me to things so I don't feel obligated to go and buy you something and rearrange my schedule to accommodate. It may not be a big deal to her but we can’t afford it.

[Ashley&Scott]

I missed the OP. However I probably would have skipped the shower of a person who stood me up for lunch multiple times.