The missed miscarriage was confirmed yesterday during an ultrasound. The baby measured 7w5d and there was no heartbeat. I was in my eighth week. I felt something was amiss 3-4 weeks ago. That night, I had a small episode of red blood, followed by spotting. Gone were the catiously optimistic and happy thoughts. It was a week of hell as I waited for results. I was told HCG was good, but progesterone was low, so I took oral progesterone. The spotting cleared up. Then, I got the flu. That sucked. I didn't know if I should take Tamiflu, even though they told me It was okay. I worried about getting a high fever. I forgot to take the progesterone one night and had some spotting the next day when I had the flu. My heart sank. I got worried again. I started to feel really bloated and I felt a little queasy in the morning, so I thought maybe this is real. During the ultrasound, I saw the baby. I felt good. Then the lady stopped talking. She was taking a long time looking around. She didn't give us the pictures. I saw her talk to the doctor and nurse and we made an awkward eye contact. Everything was off with the visit. Then the doctor broke the news. I handled it okay in the office. I get sad at times. I just want to move on. The d&c is scheduled for Friday. From bleeding to D&C this will have taken all of January, Jan 1 to Jan 31.
I am sad about odd things. I found out over the holidays and told H on Christmas. I have a video of his reaction. I bought D a Big Sister book for Christmas and remember wrapping it so carefully. The memories will be different now. This baby and D would have been exactly four years apart and I thought that would have been fun. She loves babies. I hate waiting. It seems so long, from waiting for the d&c, waiting for the first period, waiting for the fertile period, waiting to test, waiting for ultrasound, waiting for second trimester appointment. 4+ months of waiting. I wanted 2 or 3 kids. I don't know now. The first pregnancy happened on the first try. It happened to the plan. TTC this one took longer and then I lost it. Three kids may be out. Some things you can't plan. I am an engineer. I have formulas that can give you answers. Medicine seems to be filled with so many unknowns and it is hard for me not to have an answer as to why this happened. Did I bleed/spot because something was wrong? Why did I have low progesterone and what role does it play in early pregnancy? Would it still have happened if I didn't get sick? I need to accept the unknowns. I hate that I got the flu. It was close to when it stopped growing. It was close to the second spotting. I trust my doctor. I sometimes wonder what if. The dating was only a few days off. Did they miss the heart beat? After the appointment, I remember how I saw the flicker before. I didn't see it this time. I saw a pattern on the ultrasound, but it guess it was mine? I asked if it was 100% and he said she checked for it several times and nothing was coming up. I still think what if. He was very sure.
I am so sorry for your loss, july. I had a MMC at 8w, with a rollercoaster of betas and spotting along the way, and it was just so emotionally draining. I wanted to offer a shoulder if you need it. Hugs!
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Post by sierramist03 on Jan 27, 2015 22:59:29 GMT -5
For the most part I'm doing okay but some days are a lot worse than others. Seems like my fb is full of announcements and for some reason I keep getting email that say week 24 etc. That was really depressing. Plus Dh has been having some stress related issues in the bedroom so we missing key says. DH is getting frustrated he has soo many families who were accidental pregnant or pregnant without trying and we are the first ones to really have a loss.
I am so sorry july. It really is an awful feeling to think that there is nothing you could have done. I am a lot like you, I need answers, I need to know why. And there just aren't any. Sending you strength and internet hugs.
Post by pantaloons55 on Jan 29, 2015 11:02:23 GMT -5
Hey Ladies,
Just checking in. Doing ok over here -- for now. I've been tracking post-MC and it seems I've been a relatively stable 'cycle', so that's reassuring.
We've been NTNP this month (had the green light from Doc, and did not want to prevent) which is actually turning out to be a bit of a mind f*ck, but overall I am comfortable with that decision.
Not expecting anything, AF is due to show up this weekend so waiting that out. I suspect it will be hard, so I'm trying to prepare myself mentally.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Thanks, everyone! I had my D&C this morning. So far, I have had very minimal side effects and the doctor said I didn't bleed a lot. I am feeling a lot better emotionally now at it is behind me. It is disappointing, but there wasn't something right with the baby. My doctor warned H when I was recovering that I might have mood swings from the hormone drop. Not looking forward to that.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.