1) You blatantly lied to me because you don't respect my opinion. 2) You are putting our family's finances at risk. 3) You are putting your friend before your wife, showing that you value your friend and his feelings more than you value your spouse's.
the bolded is what it boils down to for me. He's putting his friend before you. THAT is what would really piss me off (and the lie is all a part of that).
Yup, exactly. But according to him this is the way HE wants to do things, not because of the friend. So, I don't know that he would get that. rageragerage
Could you call and see if there is actually a fee? Normally there isn't one if you were just switching names. I've only had a fee for hooking up new service.
Yup, exactly. But according to him this is the way HE wants to do things, not because of the friend. So, I don't know that he would get that. rageragerage
So if random Joe Blow moved in who neither of you knew, your DH would really be fine with keeping the utility in his name?
Yup, exactly. But according to him this is the way HE wants to do things, not because of the friend. So, I don't know that he would get that. rageragerage
This makes zero sense. Is he always this stubborn? This really sounds like he is doing this to be difficult, not for any logical reason.
Could you call and see if there is actually a fee? Normally there isn't one if you were just switching names. I've only had a fee for hooking up new service.
There is, he called.
I don't know if there was for any of the other utilities. He swears that his name is not on any of the other accounts...we just keep getting the bills sent to us for no reason
Yup, exactly. But according to him this is the way HE wants to do things, not because of the friend. So, I don't know that he would get that. rageragerage
So if random Joe Blow moved in who neither of you knew, your DH would really be fine with keeping the utility in his name?Â
I mean he wants to do it to help the friend out, not because friend asked (that I know of...). Does that (dumb) logic make sense?
Yup, exactly. But according to him this is the way HE wants to do things, not because of the friend. So, I don't know that he would get that. rageragerage
This makes zero sense. Is he always this stubborn? This really sounds like he is doing this to be difficult, not for any logical reason.
Could you call and see if there is actually a fee? Normally there isn't one if you were just switching names. I've only had a fee for hooking up new service.
There is, he called.
I don't know if there was for any of the other utilities. He swears that his name is not on any of the other accounts...we just keep getting the bills sent to us for no reason
Do you believe him? He doesn't seem to be telling the truth about the other bills/removing his name from this one. If it was me, I'd call myself.
I don't know if there was for any of the other utilities. He swears that his name is not on any of the other accounts...we just keep getting the bills sent to us for no reason
Do you believe him? He doesn't seem to be telling the truth about the other bills/removing his name from this one. If it was me, I'd call myself.
I would think they wouldn't be able to tell me anything since my name isn't on anything...
This makes zero sense. Is he always this stubborn? This really sounds like he is doing this to be difficult, not for any logical reason.
He thinks I'm being stubborn and a bad friend
This is bizarre. What twisted logic. Why would anyone want to be on the hook for a possible defaulted bill on a place you don't live in? Are you sure he isn't paying their utilities too?
If it is about the money, write your friends a check and remove your name and be done with it.
So if random Joe Blow moved in who neither of you knew, your DH would really be fine with keeping the utility in his name?
I mean he wants to do it to help the friend out, not because friend asked (that I know of...). Does that (dumb) logic make sense?
At this point I would tell H to pay the $50 and transfer it to his friends name. That's how he can help his friend out if he wants. I think it's bullshit what your H is doing BTW but I'd just want to be done with it.
He's actually starting to contradict himself. He says you're being a bad friend but then he says that this is just what HE wants to do, it's not about the friend.
This makes zero sense. Is he always this stubborn? This really sounds like he is doing this to be difficult, not for any logical reason.
He thinks I'm being stubborn and a bad friend
This is so weird. Getting utilities set up, and paying any fees required to do so, is just part of moving. It has nothing to do with your friendship with this guy.
He swears that his name is not on any of the other accounts...we just keep getting the bills sent to us for no reason
What? You realize that doesn't make any sense, right? Have you read these bills? He's lying to you about something.
Yes, I realize this and end up mad at him every month. I finally told him that it makes no sense that every utility company in this town is incompetent enough to not be able to figure out how to stop sending us bills if his name isn't on the account any more. He's sticking to his story.
I realize this all makes him look like an ass, which makes me sad.
What? You realize that doesn't make any sense, right? Have you read these bills? He's lying to you about something.
Yes, I realize this and end up mad at him every month. I finally told him that it makes no sense that every utility company in this town is incompetent enough to not be able to figure out how to stop sending us bills if his name isn't on the account any more. He's sticking to his story.
I realize this all makes him look like an ass, which makes me sad.
Check your bank accounts. All the utility bills are still in your H's name? Are you being paid back for these utilities? Why is your H covering for this guy? Why doesn't he understand that lying to your wife about this stuff goes far beyond "helping a friend". Something isn't adding up.
Yes, I realize this and end up mad at him every month. I finally told him that it makes no sense that every utility company in this town is incompetent enough to not be able to figure out how to stop sending us bills if his name isn't on the account any more. He's sticking to his story.
I realize this all makes him look like an ass, which makes me sad.
Check your bank accounts. All the utility bills are still in your H's name? Are you being paid back for these utilities? Why is your H covering for this guy? Why doesn't he understand that lying to your wife about this stuff goes far beyond "helping a friend". Something isn't adding up.
He's not paying the utilities, friend is. The rest...yeah I don't have an answer.
You should take a look at these bills that are coming in. See what's actually going on. Maybe he has outstanding unpaid balances from when you lived at the old apartment that he's hiding from you? That could explain why bills are still coming in the mail.
If it's all just a mistake as he claims, then he shouldn't have a problem letting you look at the bills, right?
Do you have access to the bank account from which he pays bills? I'd poke around there and see what he has been paying to these utility companies.
You should also call the utility companies and see what info you can get from them too.
I've seen all the bills, they are just normal monthly bills for current services. We only have a joint account, which is how I know he's not actually paying for anything. He's just trying to help a friend out by not having him pay the transfer fee. He's an idiot and not thinking ahead, but he's way too cheap to pay anyone else's stuff.
I've seen all the bills, they are just normal monthly bills for current services. We only have a joint account, which is how I know he's not actually paying for anything. He's just trying to help a friend out by not having him pay the transfer fee. He's an idiot and not thinking ahead, but he's way too cheap to pay anyone else's stuff.
Now I'm confused. You said a little while ago that there are all these other utility company bills showing up that he is telling you are just in error? Those bills are for current services in his name that someone else is paying every month?
Something weird is going on. That your h wants to convince you that this is just normal is weird.
Yes, we're getting the bills, but friend has online accounts set up and is paying them all online so he doesn't need the physical bills.
We may be getting somewhere. He just said he's going to make the transfer and make friend pay the fee. Hallelujah!
The friend is going to be billed the fee by the utility company though. Your H has nothing to do with that. He doesn't have to make anybody do anything.
Don't you guys ever wonder how this happens when people move into and out of homes all the time? Lol.
I understand how it works I think he means they're going to do it together so there is no service interruption, but I don't know. I don't care as long as it gets done!
Do you believe him? He doesn't seem to be telling the truth about the other bills/removing his name from this one. If it was me, I'd call myself.
I would think they wouldn't be able to tell me anything since my name isn't on anything...
It's amazing how much information I've been able to get over the years by saying I was my XH's wife. They usually will ask for some kind of information to verify I'm not a random person (like his SSN, or address, or birthdate) but I rarely had an issue getting information, especially not for something like a utility. Most companies (barring financial institutions) will talk to the spouse of a person whose name is on the account.
I actually called and cancelled my BF's car insurance, and shockingly they let me
Post by pinkiepromise on Jan 28, 2015 11:25:05 GMT -5
I might be getting this all wrong, but here's my gist of it. You guys moved out in August and this "friend" took over your lease. Were you moving before your lease was up and had him move in to continue the lease? I've known someone that did this so it's not too far-fetched. (They didn't want to have to pay the fee for breaking their lease 4-5 months early so they had a friend who was wanting to move somewhere continue the lease. It was an apartment and I don't think they ever told the manager about it.) If so I would have just paid the $50 fee to have utilities transferred into your friends name because they would have been doing you all a favor by allowing you to break your lease. I could be TOTALLY off base with this but it's just what I'm guessing was going on.
As far as the utilities/bills issue I can see what's happening with that. You husband hasn't changed his name off the account but your friend has online access to pay the bills. I have a few bills that I pay online but I still get a paper bill in the mail - cable for example. Still I would get the account switched over to the new tenants name. I would much rather pay the $50 to switch it versus being possibly stuck with a $200+ bill down the line if the friend ever doesn't pay it. It's not in the friends name so what does he have to worry about if it's not paid? It won't come back on him..it'll come back on your husband, ya know?
Post by sofamonkey on Jan 28, 2015 11:30:29 GMT -5
I wouldn't care per se about the potential bad outcome. The huge issue to me is that you talked prior, he told you that something would happen, then it later comes out that he just said something to get you stop stop about it. I mean, if there is something that you insist on doing, despite your spouse's wishes, you should at least have the gumption to tell them you are doing something against their wishes. His way around it is bullshit & I agree with @booby that something smells.
So is it one utility, or multiple. Your op sounded like one, but now it seems like you're talking about more.
He admitted that they didn't change the one utility into friend's name, because of the transfer fee. He says that all of the other utilities are in his friend's name, we are just still getting physical bills in the mail for some reason.