Feeling really anxious

[miamigirl]

I had a mini breakdown last night. My DH is away on a business trip and I was home alone. I started crying thinking about my upcoming OB appointment on Monday.

With my last pregnancy, I found out at 10 weeks that the baby had stopped growing at around 9 weeks. I had no bleeding, no cramping, so signs at all. I kept asking the doc if he was absolutely sure. 

Now that I've hit the 9 week mark with this pregnancy, I've started fearing that the same thing is going to happen. I had been really positive up until now. I'm just really anxious, I know I only have to wait a few more days, but this is killing me!

Sorry guys, I just needed to vent a little bit...  If you got pregnant after a loss, how did you deal with all these emotions?

[achi]

I'm so sorry for your prior loss. I had a chemical pregnancy previously and it was really hard for me with this pregnancy until I saw the heartbeat so I can understand where you're coming from. Big hugs.

Do you have any friends or family locally that you can talk to/lean on?

[catscatscats]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I also had a m/mc last year and it really changes you. I was so anxious all through first trimester. Sending you all of my good thoughts for a great appointment. Is there someone else who can go with you if your husband is still out of town?

[starburst]

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Pregnancy is so nerve-wracking.

((miamigirl))

[nmosrob]

(((miamigirl)))

[hainesherway]

Big hugs to you! Will your husband be back in time to accompany you to your appointment? If not, see if you could bring a family or friend along.

[estrellita]

*Hugs* I would probably be super anxious too if I had been through that. Hoping the appointment goes perfectly!

[miamigirl]

Thanks guys. My husband will be home today, so he'll be here for the appointment.

[5oclocksomewhere]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Pregnancy is such a mindfuck. I have no advice, just hugs, and I'm sorry for your previous loss.

[lillaguma]

Lots of virtual hugs your way. I don't have any advice, but I really feel for you.

[MrsH2010]

I am so sorry for your previous loss and so sorry for the way it makes you feel now. Sending lots of good wishes for your appointment. I'm glad your H will be there with you! ((hugs))

[coribelle26]

I am so sorry you're going through this. I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks and, while I knew intellectually that milestone would be hard this time around, I was still caught off guard by just how terrifying it was for at least the two weeks surrounding that time. If you can ask your OB for an extra check up just to ease your mind, do it. And otherwise there is nothing I can say to help with the fear but please know you're not alone at all in feeling this way.

[miamigirl]

Jan 29, 2015 15:50:18 GMT -5 coribelle26 said:

I am so sorry you're going through this. I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks and, while I knew intellectually that milestone would be hard this time around, I was still caught off guard by just how terrifying it was for at least the two weeks surrounding that time. If you can ask your OB for an extra check up just to ease your mind, do it. And otherwise there is nothing I can say to help with the fear but please know you're not alone at all in feeling this way.

Thank you.  Yes, my OB is seeing me every 2 weeks to make me feel better. I was doing fine until now, I guess it's the timing that's affecting me. Also, the fact that I didn't feel anything last time makes me think that it might be happening again and I wouldn't know.

I'll feel better after Monday

[coda]

(((Hugs)))

[Monica Geller]

I'm sorry for your loss. And pregnancy is a complete mindfuck all the way through. ((HUGS))

[cheeseandcrackers]

I lost my first baby at 7 weeks, but with heavy bleeding. I just hoped for the best.. that's really all you can do.

[centralsquare]

Jan 29, 2015 17:04:31 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

I'm sorry for your loss. And pregnancy is a complete mindfuck all the way through. ((HUGS))

Sure, but prior loss makes it that much more of a mindfuck.

miamigirl, we lost our baby at 13w, and I am not gonna lie -- the weeks leading up to it were just plain hard. The best thing you can do is take good care of yourself. Remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. In some ways, knowing that there isn't anything you can do to prevent -- or cause -- a loss is freeing. A spontaneous loss, as painful as it is, it usually your body's way of taking care of a non-viable pregnancy. You have no reason to believe that this pregnancy isn't going well, so you have to actively choose to believe that it is, until you know otherwise.

Spend time with your DH, spend time with your friends. It seems trite to say "keep busy," but the time really does pass easier that way. Hang in there, and I hope all continues to go well for you.

[miamigirl]

Jan 29, 2015 18:55:51 GMT -5 centralsquare said:

Jan 29, 2015 17:04:31 GMT -5 Monica Geller said:

I'm sorry for your loss. And pregnancy is a complete mindfuck all the way through. ((HUGS))

Sure, but prior loss makes it that much more of a mindfuck.

miamigirl, we lost our baby at 13w, and I am not gonna lie -- the weeks leading up to it were just plain hard. The best thing you can do is take good care of yourself. Remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. In some ways, knowing that there isn't anything you can do to prevent -- or cause -- a loss is freeing. A spontaneous loss, as painful as it is, it usually your body's way of taking care of a non-viable pregnancy. You have no reason to believe that this pregnancy isn't going well, so you have to actively choose to believe that it is, until you know otherwise.

Spend time with your DH, spend time with your friends. It seems trite to say "keep busy," but the time really does pass easier that way. Hang in there, and I hope all continues to go well for you.

Thank You

[lizz]

I can relate. I've never had a loss but still felt very anxious something bad would happen. I still have moments where I just can't have faith that I'm going to have a healthy baby and I'm 15 weeks.

I hope you have fun weekend plans and can keep distracted until your appointment. If it helps, I'm a number person and try to think about how the odds are very much in your favor and get better and better everyday!

[centralsquare]

One other thing that has helped me this time is to break things up into milestones. You are having an appt every two weeks, right? Focus on getting to the next one. At 12w, you can have your NT scan or get a blood test, if you are doing genetic screening. 13w is 2nd tri. Depending on your practice, your anatomy scan could be at 18-20w. Then 24w is viability. 28w is when the lungs are developed and your baby could be born with a good chance of surviving (better than at 24, which is the earliest possible, but not great.) then you hit 3rd tri.

For me, breaking it up into smaller milestones was mentally and emotionally helpful.

[sapphireblue]

I can really relate to what you are feeling! Several years ago, I was 13 weeks and went for an OB appointment. They couldn't hear the heartbeat so did an U/S and told me I was going to miscarry.

Now I'm at the same time point and my boyfriend was out of town for my U/S and appointment on Monday. Like you I was so nervous. It turned out to be fine. I have a tear in my placenta so it is still nerve-wracking but at least on Monday the baby was healthy and the heart was beating.

I hope for the same for you. The anxiety is a killer. Your feelings are normal.

[miamigirl]

Thank you all for the support!!

[luv2rn4fun]

So many ((hugs))! All your feelings are completely normal. I had the same with both pregnancies after our first loss and honestly felt so much better with this last pg once I passed the 10 1/2 wk milestone but not completely relieved until the a/s (each week did get better and better though). Hang in there...once Monday is over and everything goes well you will feel like a huge weight is off your shoulders. That was one of my favorite appointments.