If you are going to have kids, don't get a dog

[Deleted]

This woman is getting ripped to shreds in the comments, and fully deserves it. I feel sorry for her dog.  She's seems like a real winner. I can't believe this blog was posted on Slate.  I feel dumber for reading it. 

www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/07/kids_and_dogs_if_you_re_having_a_baby_do_not_get_a_puppy.html

The One Thing No One Tells You Before You Have Kids


Don’t get a dog.



By Allison Benedikt


When I first met Velvel, he was peeking out from a cardboard box in the back seat of my boyfriend’s Saturn wagon. I was just back from a weekend away, and John had come to pick me up from the train station with the best surprise a man can give to a woman he loves: a puppy.



A puppy! Man, I loved this puppy. A border collie–American Eskimo mix (basically a shrunken border collie, but cuter), we named him after my dad’s Hebrew name, which is actually Yiddish and means “wolf,” though we didn’t know that at the time. He just looked like a “Velvel.” You know what I mean. (We get a lot of: “Volvo?” No. “Vulva?” No. Do you think we’d name our dog Vulva? It’s VEL-VEL.)



Velvel quickly became the center of our lives. Weekends consisted of taking him to the dog run or the dog beach or the dog park. I developed a very specific, high-pitched, raunchy voice for Velvel, because he had a lot to say. Remember when there was that big dog food scare? We freaked and started spending Sundays cooking huge batches of homemade dog food that filled our apartment with the disgusting aroma of chicken livers, broccoli, and bone meal. Velvel watched TV on the couch with us every night and slept on our bed. Sometimes I let him sit in the front passenger seat of the car and I took the back. We had a multistep system for brushing him out, which we did regularly and with discipline. We gossiped about the other dogs in our neighborhood and marveled at what a better and cuter and smarter dog Velvel was compared to them.



Then I got pregnant. Actually, pregnancy was fine. I still loved Velvel when I was pregnant. The night before I was to be induced, I thought more about how bringing a baby home was going to impact Velvel’s life than my own. “This is going to be very hard for him,” I told John. We’d have to be sensitive to his needs, we agreed. After the baby was born, we did exactly what “they” say to do: John took the newborn hat from the hospital for Velvel to smell, to prepare him for the tiny human heading his way. That was probably the last nice thing we ever did for him.



A friend of mine once told me that before he had a kid, he would have run into a burning building to save his cats. Now that he has a kid, he would happily drown the cats in the bathtub if it would help his son take a longer nap. Here is how I feel about that statement: Velvel, avoid the bathroom.



It’s not that I don’t love my dog. It’s just that I don’t love my dog. And I am not alone. A very nonscientific survey of almost everyone I know who had a dog and then had kids now wishes they had never got the dog. This is a near universal truth, even for parents with just one child, though I have more.



Here is a regular sequence of events at my house: I pick the baby up and he pukes on me. I run from the living room to the kitchen with the baby in one arm, trying not to touch his milk-dripping mouth to the left side of my shirt while I grab a paper towel to wipe off the milk-covered right side of my shirt, when I hear the sound of exactly 2,459 tiny fucking Legos crashing to the floor. My middle son has dumped out the Lego bin again. And my eldest (who is now 4) is yelling “ready for wipe!” from the bathroom. I think, “I’ve got to start trusting that kid to wipe himself,” just as the middle son, who is now sitting in a sea of Legos smearing Desitin all over his face, screams: “Velvel threw up!”



Don’t get the wrong idea: My life is not boring. There are variations to this lineup. Sometimes Velvel just whines. (I’m no dog whisperer, but this might be because he’s not getting any attention.) Other times I take him for a walk—it’s such a nice night for a stroll! You actually are a pretty good dog, Vel!—only to have him poop on himself. Like, he poops, and some of that poop gets stuck on his fur. Before we had kids, this was at least an occasion to give him a nice, calming sponge bath. Some warm water, a wash cloth, and soap would do the trick. Now I grab a pair of scissors and hack off a clump of his hair. All clean!



Did I mention he sheds? This is not his fault, exactly. But who else to blame when the new baby is covered in dog hair, or the older kids are making gagging noises while watching Jake and the Never Land Pirates because “there’s something in my mouth.”



There’s also all the other stuff, like having to walk him every day, and the fact that he loves to start a manic barking fit just as one of the kids is about to fall asleep. (We bought one of those collars that shoots “a harmless burst” of citronella at his face every time he barks. It worked for two days.)



Recently I took Velvel for his annual checkup. He’s 13, does not get enough (any) exercise, and has gained a fair amount of weight in the past few years, as we’ve started doling out the dog treats quite liberally because it’s the only thing that shuts him up. The vet ran some blood tests and called with the results a few days later. Velvel’s liver levels are a little off, she told me, but why don’t we try medicine first before discussing other options. The vet delivered the news gently, as if I might start sobbing at any moment. All I could think was, “I can’t remember if she said liver or kidney.” And then the baby spit up and I had to go.



There are many lessons I’ve learned from my parents, but one in particular I wish I had followed. They didn’t get a dog until my sister and I were grown. They loved him like a dog should be loved until the day he died. He never got less cute to them. I never heard them yell, “GOD WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS UNDER FOOT?” They never regretted him.



I cannot in good conscience tell you every thing I think on the subject of my dog Velvel. Yes, there’s more. I can only say this: To all you young couples, thinking, “We should get a dog!” “I love you, let’s get a dog!” “We’re not ready for kids, but what about a dog?!”—don’t get a dog. Or, if you do get a dog, don’t have kids

[pixy0stix]

I have... thoughts... about this, but I'll keep them to myself because they are not nice.

[eclaires]

This lady is stupid.

Also I am so glad my dog is ridiculously lazy. Our vet asked what we do to keep her in such good shape (she's almost 11) and made a comment that she must get a lot of exercise. I laughed and was like - yeah if you count jumping onto the couch for a nap that lasts all day and then getting down and walking upstairs at bedtime.

[wawa]

Well damn. I mean I just said in the massive dog thread that we won't get another one for a while once teddy passes. he kinda gets shafted now that the kid exists...but so does my husband to an extent. I still love their hAiry asses.

this is just heartless.

[ajj]

Why are all these miserable people writing articles on the internet?

[elleblue]

What a flaming asshole. I posit she didn't really love her dog in the first place. Yep, I said it.

[hopecounts]

Um I have a dog and a kid.
She is dumb.
ETA: I manage to take care of the kid and the dog.
You know the great thjng about dogs?
You can train them to do things like walk on a leash while you walk with your kids.
Everybody gets fresh air and exercise.
Do I get mildly annoyed when I have to vacuum three times a week?
Occasionally but truth is K'd probably need to anyway with DD running around.

[meshaliuknits]

Jan 29, 2015 17:52:48 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I have... thoughts... about this, but I'll keep them to myself because they are not nice.

I'm reasonably sure that we're all having those thoughts. And I'm side eying the friend with the cats/bathtub business.

[lime]

>>A friend of mine once told me that before he had a kid, he would have run into a burning building to save his cats. Now that he has a kid, he would happily drown the cats in the bathtub if it would help his son take a longer nap. Here is how I feel about that statement: Velvel, avoid the bathroom.



Not funny. Fuck her. 

[cattledogkisses]

What a horrid woman.

[wawa]

Jan 29, 2015 17:52:48 GMT -5 pixy0stix said:

I have... thoughts... about this, but I'll keep them to myself because they are not nice.

don't start holding back on us now pix.

[cattledogkisses]

How about, don't get a dog if you're going to be neglectful asshole to it once you have kids?

[gottadobe]

Yuck.

[crazycakes]

No.

We have a husky and a retriever and, while they don't get the attention they did before dd was born, we still love them and give them lots of love. It doesn't have to be either/or here.

[cattledogkisses]

I'm also getting a strong "mommy-martyr" vibe from her.

[chedifuen]

Ugh, she's fucking awful. I had one dog before we had kids and having a baby made me love her more. She has been so sweet and gentle with our boys. She's the most amazing doggie sister and they love her so much.

We added a pup over the summer and couldn't be happier with our decision. Yes, it's more work but it's also more love. I'm such a sap.

[pixy0stix]

Jan 29, 2015 18:04:07 GMT -5 cattledogkisses said:

I'm also getting a strong "mommy-martyr" vibe from her.

YES! If being a mom is that hard, why did she go on to have 3 children? Oh, because it's really not that hard, and this bitch just reached into her "omg I have to write about something what can I sensationalize" and came up with a story about never ending baby vomit (which seems to be more of a problem than the dog itself), and a friend who wants to drown his cats. 

[lime]

Jan 29, 2015 18:07:18 GMT -5 chedifuen said:

Ugh, she's fucking awful. I had one dog before we had kids and having a baby made me love her more. She has been so sweet and gentle with our boys. She's the most amazing doggie sister and they love her so much.

We added a pup over the summer and couldn't be happier with our decision. Yes, it's more work but it's also more love. I'm such a sap.

Aw. Stuff like this makes me all warm and fuzzy. 

Is there anything cuter than dogs and babies? 

Correct answer - No. 

[pixy0stix]

The real issue here, if there is an issue, is that she's just overwhelmed with her kids. Which, if she's really as harried and detached as she says, is a welfare concern for her children. It has absolutely nothing to do with the dog.

[josieposy]

Sounds to me like her life was just fine until the kids came along. Maybe don't have kids if you have a dog??


On a more serious note, I had 3 adorable-but-high-maintenance cats and a fairly high-energy-but-loving labrador before I had the twins. We still have all of those animals and now have twin preschoolers. I just completely forgot to mention even once in the last 4 years that my life totally sucks.

[Deleted]

The part about taking her dog to the vet and being completely detached and not even knowing what the vet is talking about.. gross.  A couple weeks ago my Boston woke up whimpering and he could barely move without crying and I bawled the whole morning until I could get him in to the vet (he is fine-back and knee problems common with little dogs, most likely will need surgery in the future but for now manageable with meds and rest) I really want to slap her.  

On a side note, I need to think of something stupid I can write about and get published, apparently it's fairly easy. 

[MrsAxilla]

What a selfish bitch. With selfish, bitchy friends.

[pixy0stix]

AND, if I'm being totally honest, my very first thought was, "Why did you keep breeding, you derp?"

[pinkdutchtulips]

we had the jacks before dd and when I left xh - guess who came w/ me in addition to dd ? yep the dogs !

they briefly got the shaft for dd then when she realized SHE could play w/ them OMG whole new world !!

[awick14]

Jan 29, 2015 18:09:03 GMT -5 lime said:

Jan 29, 2015 18:07:18 GMT -5 chedifuen said:

Ugh, she's fucking awful. I had one dog before we had kids and having a baby made me love her more. She has been so sweet and gentle with our boys. She's the most amazing doggie sister and they love her so much.

We added a pup over the summer and couldn't be happier with our decision. Yes, it's more work but it's also more love. I'm such a sap.

Aw. Stuff like this makes me all warm and fuzzy. 

Is there anything cuter than dogs and babies? 

Correct answer - No. 

www.pawmygosh.com/dogs-babies-playing/

Your welcome

We have a dog who is going to be 3 in April, and we are actively TTC. My dog has helped me so much through this journey and he is amazing with kids. I know that he is probably going to loose some of the attention he gets from us but give it 6months to a year and he will get way more attention from the kids too.

People like the lady that wrote this letter shouldn't have pets, with or without kids.

[hopecounts]

Jan 29, 2015 18:25:34 GMT -5 pinkdutchtulips said:

we had the jacks before dd and when I left xh - guess who came w/ me in addition to dd ? yep the dogs !

they briefly got the shaft for dd then when she realized SHE could play w/ them OMG whole new world !!

My favorite days are when it's nice and we can go into the backyard and DD and pup can play fetch/chase/etc, the two of them will play for a good 20 minutes.
This means I can sit and relax while they wear eachother out, total win-win

[Vespasia]

I have a few friends who work at a local shelter. They once had a couple stop by to surrender their dog while the woman was in LABOR. They didn't want to deal with the dog once baby came.

People are assholes.

[thecatinthehat]

When we first got home from the hospital, our house was horrible. It had not been vacuum in 3 days (we have 2 goldens and dark hard wood floors), I bawled. Part of it was hormones but I just felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness and fear that my dogs will be neglected and that I failed them as a mom by having a baby. Our dogs are high energy and they get on average 30 mins walk every day and 2 fetch sessions each day. There are still days here and there that I regret having dogs. Sometime I think I might have enjoyed being a mom to a human more if we didn't have such high energy dogs. But I judge people who rehomed dogs after having a baby for reasons that they don't have time for it anymore. And I refuse to be that person no matter what. DH and I have decide that in yen future we'll have 0-1 dogs at a time. I pushed for our 2nd dog so that our first dog have someone to play with as he enjoyed daycate so much but they never really bonded and are a mess to walk together.

[InBetweenDays]

This makes me sad and mad as we too recently had our vet gently deliver bad news but I did start sobbing. We have two dogs that are 12 and 13, and neither will likely make it more than 6 more months. I have never once regretted getting them. Do I get annoyed at them when they carry shoes around, lay down wherever I happen to need to stand, or drool voraciously while I make their dinner? Yes. But I also get annoyed at my kids when they leave their socks in every room, incessantly ask random questions when DH and I are trying to have a conversation, and need to be reminded every night that getting ready for bed includes brushing their teeth.

They have not gotten less cute to us, and yes, we will love them as a dog should be loved until the day they die. Which, contrary to what this woman says is a “universal truth”, will happen much sooner that we’d like.

[wawa]

Jan 29, 2015 18:36:35 GMT -5 awick14 said:

Jan 29, 2015 18:09:03 GMT -5 lime said:

Aw. Stuff like this makes me all warm and fuzzy. 

Is there anything cuter than dogs and babies? 

Correct answer - No. 

www.pawmygosh.com/dogs-babies-playing/

Your welcome

We have a dog who is going to be 3 in April, and we are actively TTC. My dog has helped me so much through this journey and he is amazing with kids. I know that he is probably going to loose some of the attention he gets from us but give it 6months to a year and he will get way more attention from the kids too.

People like the lady that wrote this letter shouldn't have pets, with or without kids.

She probably also shouldn't have had kids. Living things are hard yo.