A few weeks ago, J's grandfather asked us to come over after mass to talk. Because of my divorce, some of his family want me to go through the annulment process (through the Catholic Church, though I'm not Catholic) and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I said I'd be open to getting more information, and now that I have it, it bugs me. They've got the right to deny it and we couldn't get married in the church. Why the fuck should I have to justify myself to a group of men who don't know me or what I went through? It's a lengthy and invasive process that involves questioning my family, friends, and possibly my ex. He said he wants to marry me regardless, so it's not an issue in that respect. I'm a Christian but it's shit like this that makes me not want to be involved with a church.
Were you married in the Catholic Church? I am pretty sure you don't need to do this, unless you were. Also, that's really shitty of them. It's not their business.
My BFF is marrying a guy 20 yrs older and with 2 ex wives they also wanted to get married in a Catholic Church, the annulment would take for ever and likely not happen since he has kids. So they found a shady Catholic Church and paid for an annulment lol. Throw some money at those clerics!
In all seriousness it's none I they're business and get married in the way u want. It's all about u and J don't forget that!
ashleydl83 I think that if you had a sympathetic priest the questioning would be very mild especially because of the way your ex treated you physically and emotionally. I don't say that to sway you (I'm not Catholic) but in case you or J ever were interested in the process; it is very dependent on the priest and the parish.
ETA: I know a person whose annulment involved no questioning because she had proof of domestic violence and another who only had to sit and talk with the priest by herself.
A few weeks ago, J's grandfather asked us to come over after mass to talk. Because of my divorce, some of his family want me to go through the annulment process (through the Catholic Church, though I'm not Catholic) and the more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. I said I'd be open to getting more information, and now that I have it, it bugs me. They've got the right to deny it and we couldn't get married in the church. Why the fuck should I have to justify myself to a group of men who don't know me or what I went through? It's a lengthy and invasive process that involves questioning my family, friends, and possibly my ex. He said he wants to marry me regardless, so it's not an issue in that respect. I'm a Christian but it's shit like this that makes me not want to be involved with a church.
If you did want to get married in a church, you can get married in a Protestant church.
My mom's best friend comes from a staunchly Catholic family. When I was younger she dated a man that I even called my Uncle. He was amazing for her. He was her soul mate. However, he had been married before and refused the annulment process because he had a child from a previous marriage who passed on a drowning accident. He felt like the annulment was saying his son never existed, so he refused to do it. They couldn't get married in the Catholic Church and my "aunt" refused to go against her family. Now 20+ years later she is miserable and alone. She married another man and is already divorced again. It's really terrible and sad. On his death bed, her father told her she should have just dropped the Catholic wedding and they should have married...that he was sorry.
I hate to be Debbie Downer, but just wanted to share. You do you. Happiness is what is important and I don't think God is concerned with a formal process like that when he is sending your soul mate your way.
That's how I feel. I had a friend post something on Facebook yesterday about 8 truths from the Bible about marriage and one of them was divorce is a sin and it says if you get divorced to stay single or reconcile. I felt compelled to comment, and your last paragraph is why. I married the wrong man, stayed longer than I should and mourned my marriage and moved on. I refuse to believe that God would want me to stay single and not share my life with someone. I'm now with an amazing Christian man who treats me with more love and respect than I've ever known. Christians get so caught up in what they feel they can't do or what they feel like is sin. That's why I'm not going to a church. Jesus spoke of love and respect and not judging others. That's how I choose to live.
Yeah, the witness questionnaire asks questions about dating life, married life, knowledge of how the couple was intimate, etc. My ex is the worst about bad mouthing me, and my mom is so against Catholicism. The only other witness I have is my dad, and I don't even want him to answer those questions. He was raised Catholic (he converted after disagreeing with the church many years ago) but told me to do what I feel is right.
I think it's disgusting that they want your intimate details discussed and with other people no less? Fuck that. Is J set on marrying in the church? I totally understand if he is! I was too! But man, some things just do not need to be brought up. You've been through a lot. You don't need to trudge through that again crap again.
No he's not. After we left his grandfather's I was kind of upset. It's important to his family, and we agreed to talk about it. He told me on the way that he didn't care where we got married, as long as we did. And that I'm apparently stuck with him I told him I was okay with that.
Post by The Foozzler on Jan 30, 2015 12:16:07 GMT -5
I confess that when I am home, I pee so often that I don't always wash my hands after. Except now I am potty training a toddler who is obsessed with hand washing after using the bathroom. He won't let me leave the bathroom until my hands are washed. My hands are so dry from washing them 100 times a day.
Post by dixeedeluxe on Jan 30, 2015 12:39:37 GMT -5
My dog just pooped on the floor right in front of me. I JUST let him out before sitting down to eat. The confession is I'm not going to clean it up until I'm done eating.
C25K...it works Seaside 5K...........40:45(2012) Turkey Trot..........41:30(2012)/37:08(2013)/37:40(2014) St Pat's 5K..........39:27(2013)/38:48(2014)/35:12(2015) Belair Town Run......38:09(2013)/36:27(2014) Back To Football 5K..37:36(2013)/43:44(2015) Balt Run Fest 5K.....34:59(2013)/41:50(2014)/35:54(2015)
The annulment process makes me ragey. Back in the day my biological grandfather picked up and abandoned my grandma and mom when my mom was an infant. They didn't know where he went. Her particular church at the time wouldn't even let her be a member until she had an annulment which at the time was pretty hard when they couldn't find the man. She actually didn't attend anything religious for about 50 years because of the way she was treated.
Post by honeybee503 on Jan 30, 2015 13:19:44 GMT -5
Nolan's party is tomorrow at my MIL's house. My H is over there right now shoveling snow while he waits for the windshield on our Jeep to be replaced. He needs to pick up the cakes after.
He just called and said he would get the cake and then just bring it to MIL's so it can stay there and we don't have to transport it again tomorrow. I said no way. I want to see it! I'm going over there tonight to decorate, but I want the cake at my house to look at whenever I please tonight, lol. I'm already irritated that I'm not the one picking it up. I know MIL was right by him when he called me about it, and I was a little snappy with him but come on! I don't want all of H's family to see his cake before I do.
Post by musiclover on Jan 30, 2015 14:32:57 GMT -5
I've got an amazing sense of smell. Right now I'm Downstairs while the boys are upstairs having rest time. Nolan is behind a closed door, and I'm fairly certain he has pooped in his diaper. Im not running up there because this is me time. That poop shall wait!!!
Post by formerlyllizzyb on Jan 30, 2015 14:55:46 GMT -5
I think I'd be a way better SAHW than I am SAHM. No kids? More money bc I have no kids to spend it on? More energy, more time? I'd be far more effective at housewifing.
Post by PatBenatar on Jan 30, 2015 14:57:52 GMT -5
I'm not even going to bother to watch the superbowl. My H is going to his cousin's house to watch so I'm going to eat homemade pizza with Katrina and then play video games after she goes to bed. I'll peek at the score to know if I won $$ though. I did the same thing last year and it was great.
I've been rewatching Gossip Girl and getting all hot and bothered by Chuck and Blair. Their chemistry is so hot. My H is getting some tonight lol
It was a really rough night/morning here, and A has preschool today. I'm sending her, and C is still sleeping, so if he doesn't get up soon, I'll be taking him in his pajamas to drop off. I never do this, and I have no why idea why this fills me with guilt, but I can't find it in me to give a fuck today.
Holy cow, I'm impressed by your standards. I've done preschool dropoff in MY pajamas. Not even kidding.
Aw, I feel ya @chelsmonster. It's easier for me when my kids gravitate to "boy" things since they are girls. But on the flipside, I can see your hesitation. Maybe let him paint his toenails in sparkly Doc colors
@chelsmonster I feel like it is more hard for boys. I would have bought C the Jake flip flops easily (she already has a boy Jake shirt and boy Jake sweatshirt, boy and 2 boy Monsters Inc shirts) but I guess a girl wearing red and blue is easier than a boy wearing pink and purple.
I wish they made the character stuff more neutral.
I told DH I would love to be a SAHM, but only if I could still send A to school like 3 days a week, lol.
yeah I told mine I would too when he starts making enough money that I can send the toddler to preschool and get a nanny several hours a week, and have a house cleaner and money for activities/lunches out/starbucks.
He just needs to double his salary. Maybe triple it to be safe.
I told DH I would love to be a SAHM, but only if I could still send A to school like 3 days a week, lol.
yeah I told mine I would too when he starts making enough money that I can send the toddler to preschool and get a nanny several hours a week, and have a house cleaner and money for activities/lunches out/starbucks.
He just needs to double his salary. Maybe triple it to be safe.
Exactly! Get on that, man. I have a dream life to live.
yeah I told mine I would too when he starts making enough money that I can send the toddler to preschool and get a nanny several hours a week, and have a house cleaner and money for activities/lunches out/starbucks.
He just needs to double his salary. Maybe triple it to be safe.
Exactly! Get on that, man. I have a dream life to live.
I'm not even going to bother to watch the superbowl. My H is going to his cousin's house to watch so I'm going to eat homemade pizza with Katrina and then play video games after she goes to bed. I'll peek at the score to know if I won $$ though. I did the same thing last year and it was great.
I've been rewatching Gossip Girl and getting all hot and bothered by Chuck and Blair. Their chemistry is so hot. My H is getting some tonight lol
I too would love to be a SAHW but not a SAHM.
I just started watching Gossip Girl for the first time. It's actually decent, but I can only watch it when DH isn't around.
I was mostly a SAHW before I had J - I had a small business but only saw clients a few hours a week, and then I got pregnant and lounged around. I wish I had taken more advantage of it as far as working out, taking classes, etc, but I still had a hard time spending the money my husband earned at that point (LOLZ not anymore!). I think once the kids are all grown I am going to be WAY more into personal life enrichment, but I also want to provide some childcare if my kids live close by when they have kids.
I'm not even going to bother to watch the superbowl. My H is going to his cousin's house to watch so I'm going to eat homemade pizza with Katrina and then play video games after she goes to bed. I'll peek at the score to know if I won $$ though. I did the same thing last year and it was great.
I've been rewatching Gossip Girl and getting all hot and bothered by Chuck and Blair. Their chemistry is so hot. My H is getting some tonight lol
I too would love to be a SAHW but not a SAHM.
I just started watching Gossip Girl for the first time. It's actually decent, but I can only watch it when DH isn't around.
Awesome! It's such a guilty pleasure. My H mocks it, especially Chuck and the way he talks lol
I have never installed, and have no clue how to install, a car seat.
I hope this is the Scandalous revelation you were hoping for
I was never able to do it until we bought H's frontier 90 w/ the seatbelt easy click install thing. Now I can hulk her mammoth pavilion out and install it perfectly in 30 seconds. Anything else, no.
DH just taught me how to install the car seat....... It's actually quite easy.
It's a bitch to get most of them tight enough and at the right angle and shit. I get easily frustrated too so before the easy click install I'd be sweating and calling the thing a cocksucker a few minutes later.