*trigger* toddler loss: how to respond

[Deleted]

I have a distant cousin that I knew when I was younger. I just found out from my mom that she lost her under 2yr old this past week.

I haven't seen the mother in years and am not in contact with her. Would it be weird to send her a card with my condolences? I feel horrible for her and cannot imagine what she is going through right now. I don't even know the name of her baby. But she is a cousin and I did know her when we were growing up. I don't know what I'm asking here..I just feel so bad for her and there is absolutely nothing I can do to make her feel any better.

[VillainV]

I think it's fine to let her know that you are thinking about her and send your condolences. Can you find out the child's name?

[crazygame]

I don't think it's ever wrong to reach out after a tragedy.

That is really terrifying.

[curbsideprophet]

I think it is okay to send a card.

[zarapipe]

Yes I would also send a card. What tragic accident for their family.

[Deleted]

Jan 31, 2015 3:28:39 GMT -5 VillainV said:

I think it's fine to let her know that you are thinking about her and send your condolences. Can you find out the child's name?

Yes, my mom will be able to find it out for me.  I will try to get the information from her and send out a card to the family. It is just a sad sad situation.

[mannah]

Yes definitely reach out to her. Not knowing what to say is ok, it's better to say something than nothing. What a horrible situation.

[anna7602]

I would definitely send a card. How awful.

[july]

I am sorry to hear. Yes, send a card.

[ryry]

How horrible. Yes, definitely send a card or something.

[pinotgrig]

Jan 31, 2015 5:10:06 GMT -5 mannah said:

Yes definitely reach out to her. Not knowing what to say is ok, it's better to say something than nothing. What a horrible situation.

So much this. Sending good thoughts her way.

[longtimenopost]

So sad. Yes, find out the child's name and send a card. It would also be nice to put on your calendar in a few months to send another and say they are still in your thoughts.

[zeewifeandmama]

Yes, I'd send a card for sure. Oh how awful. Just so sad.

[mlt]

You should absolutely send a card. I'm truly confused as to why that would be "weird" or inappropriate? This poor woman needs all the support she can get in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

[Deleted]

Jan 31, 2015 9:54:47 GMT -5 mlt said:

You should absolutely send a card. I'm truly confused as to why that would be "weird" or inappropriate? This poor woman needs all the support she can get in the days/weeks/months/years to come.

I don't think it would be inappropriate. It isn't someone I'm in contact with and if it weren't for this, I probably would never be in contact with her. She is really a distant relative. If I had contacted her under any other circumstances it would have been weird because we haven't seen each other in years, we aren't friends on facebook, and I don't even know her married name.  Also, I really don't know the protocol in this type of situation and if the parents want to hear from people or not.  I cannot even put myself in her place to try and guess what I would want in the situation because it is just unimaginable to me.



I have the name of the little girl now and my mom is going to give me the address for the mother and for my mom's cousin who is the grandmother. I will send them both a card with my condolences.

Thank you all for your responses. I have no experience with this type of situation and it is hard to know what to say/do.