S/o s/o s/o eating out: drinking with kids

[hamster]

There's a lot of non-lushes on this board...I can't wait to read the answers.

[definitelyO]

I'll probably be considered a lush - but here it goes. DS is 6yrs old so I'll answer for what I do now.

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? 2 glasses of wine max. and that would be over a 3 hour period

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? 1-2 glasses of wine/beer

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? as much as I want.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? DH and I each have a glass of wine with dinner while DS is up and with us. we would each probably have another and still have our same responsibilities (both of us getting DS ready for bed)

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? we've had several cocktails or glasses of wine, etc... we don't get shit faced by any means - but we've had a buzz together when DS was sleeping.

[h]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?
None if I am going home shortly after dinner. If I drank and then happened to get in a car accident on the way home and one of my kids was killed or injured--regardless of whether the glass of wine was to blame--I would be second guessing that glass of wine for the rest of my life. It's just not worth it to me. I might have a glass if a significant amount of time was going to pass between dinner and the drive home, though.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?
Non-DD can drink more or less as much as they want as long as they stop short of stumbling around or saying things so inane that even our very small kids realize that Mommy/Daddy is wasted.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?
Again, as much as I want provided that I stop short of acting like an idiot in front of my children.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?
We would both have a drink, maybe two, and we would both continue to parent like always.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?
One person can get as sloshed as they want, but at least one parent needs to stop after a drink or two. Someone needs to react quickly and exercise good judgment if DS1 wakes up with an asthma attack or some other emergency comes up. Ideally, I think one parent should be okay to drive at all times, but we don't always adhere to that.

Honestly, the only time DH and I get legitimately drunk together any more is if our children are in someone else's care for the duration of the night. I just don't feel comfortable having both responsible adults drunk, even if the kids are asleep. But we still drink very regularly, and we take turns getting tipsy.

[CallingAllAngels]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?

One drink. Two to three if I am not driving.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?

As much as he/she wants.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?

As much as I want. I rarely have more than 2 drinks at home though. I think the most I have drank in this situation is 3/4 of a bottle of wine.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

Probably 2-3 drinks each. Enough to stay sober-ish.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

One person can have 2-3 drinks. The other can go crazy.

I like drinking a lot, but we don't have the energy much anymore. We definitely don't get wasted with the kids around, mostly because we're too busy wrangling them to drink

I had major reading comprehension problems with this post, so I had to edit a few times.

[EllieArroway]

1) I would stick with one drink/hour, but really I would probably only have one.

2) as many as they want - probably 2-3 realistically

3) same as #2

4) a glass or two

5) we've split a bottle of wine after bedtime many times. we wouldn't drink enough to get drunk with ds at home, though.

[theintended]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?

1 glass.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?

As much as I want (H doesn't drink) while also keeping my shit together. I'd maybe have one drink per hour or hour and a half.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?

Same.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

N/A. Lucky me! ; )

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

As much as I want short of needing to be taken care of.

[bunch]

Answer from lush, party of one...

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? One glass.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? As much as he/she wants, so long as they aren't embarrassing ;p

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? ? Get to? My h doesn't care how much I drink. I don't feel comfortable drunk, but it has happened on occasion when H brews over the top strong beers.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? A drink or two each? We are still able to drive.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? More than when they're awake, but at least one parent can always drive.[/quote]

[thedash]

These answers make it seem like I drink more than I do...

Aug 7, 2012 17:32:40 GMT -5 v said:

Poll for those of you who breed (and for those of you who have older children -- please answer for when your kids were too young to stay home alone/take care of themselves):

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?

one drink, no more

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?

Enough to still be coherent and not fall down puke faced drunk.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?

Maybe 3-4 drinks, depending on why I need them. Ideally not so much that I need to be taken care of by DH in any way (helping me to bed, etc).

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

Probably 2-3 drinks each but no more.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

No limit but if one of us is getting sloppy the other would slow down!

[hannamaren]

I get drunk off one glass of wine and that makes me sleepy. So except when I am driving, maximum one glass

Lightweight with liver disease so lack of practice.
My H can do what he wants. I am the primary caregiver anyway.

[bunch]

To be clear, when we're at home we're definitely not all "are you drunk? Can you drive?". We both probably drink more than is normal. Neither of us drink and drive if there is any question, but we are much less careful on weekends at home.

[ijack]

Aug 7, 2012 17:38:19 GMT -5 definitelyO said:

I'll probably be considered a lush - but here it goes. DS is 6yrs old so I'll answer for what I do now.

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? 2 glasses of wine max. and that would be over a 3 hour period

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? 1-2 glasses of wine/beer

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? as much as I want.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? DH and I each have a glass of wine with dinner while DS is up and with us. we would each probably have another and still have our same responsibilities (both of us getting DS ready for bed)

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? we've had several cocktails or glasses of wine, etc... we don't get shit faced by any means - but we've had a buzz together when DS was sleeping.

This is why we're friends
What she said.

[ijack]

Aug 7, 2012 19:59:50 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

My H can do what he wants. I am the primary caregiver anyway.

Even when you're both together?

[Deleted]

This has never been an issue for us. Glass or two of wine max. I have never driven a car while intoxicated.

[Deleted]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? One maybe two depending on how long we will be there.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?As much as they want, which is normally only 2 or 3 beers. I'm always the DD when we go out as a family. I have 1 hard cider and milk it through dinner.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?One maybe two drinks. I can't drink much more than that without getting sick.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?We each drink one. If one of us needs more than that than we are allowed another. The one that drinks the least is the one that takes responsbility.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?I drink maybe one or two and H drinks two or three depending on what he's drinking. We try not to drink too much that we get so stupid that we couldn't take care of our child. Sometimes you just need it though.

[anna7602]

I started answering, but realized all of my answers sounded the same.

In short: we never have to drive anywhere. Even after splitting a bottle of wine with each other or with a friend, we are both functional enough to navigate the subway system or call a cab.

What either of us drinks when DD is home (asleep or awake) has never been limited by anything except our personal desire to not get totally sloppy.

Breastfeeding has been the only exception to this.

[Deleted]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? One glass, if I'm staying over two hours, and i'm not sure even that. But he's 12 weeks so I am a bit more hesitant. I think as he gets older I'll feel more comfortable having one or two over the course of a few hours. (my tolerance is also shit after pregnancy haha. It's starting to come back but I have difficulty gauging my limits now.)

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? Two or three beers or glasses of wine. They wouldn't really get wasted bc when we got home the non-DD would still have to help get the baby to bed etc. But a few more drinks than normal would be okay.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? H is willing to be in charge of the kid? Then I'd drink as much as I want, which would probably be a few glasses of wine. I probably wouldn't get drunk (or super drunk ha).

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? We could both have a glass of wine or a beer or something, maybe more, without getting drunk or buzzed really. Like I said above, I have trouble gauging my limit now since I didnt drink for so long so my ideal would be to drink enough to kind of relax but not to be drunk.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? We wouldn't get super wasted bc DS is still young enough to wake up during the night and so we keep that in mind. But we might split a bottle of wine if he goes to bed smoothly and relatively early. He still goes to bed late-ish though (last night he didnt fall asleep until 1030) so we dont always have a lot of time before we go to sleep too.

[Deleted]

1. If I am driving with kids, I would not have any or just one.

2. The non DD can drink whatever he or she wants, but neither of us would take it to an extreme.

3. Again, I could drink as much as I wanted, but would practically speaking only have 1-2.

4. Ditto number 3.

5. Ditto number 3.

Drinking just isn't a huge issue with us like it was when I was in my 20s. Unless I am out with friends and no kids or on a weekend without kids, I am not going to have more than 2 drinks.

[divajane]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?Depends how long we stay. I would probably try to stick to one glass per hour, 2 glasses max.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? I would probably not have more than 2 or 3 drinks, again depending on how long we are out.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? I would probably just have 1 drink if we were home alone and the kids were still up, but this really doesn't happen often.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? 1 drink each until the kids are in bed.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? I am more comfortable having 3 or 4 drinks after the kids are in bed, if we are staying up late (for instance, on Christmas Eve after the kid are in bed we usually get out a bottle of egg-nog and a bottle of wine, and drink both while doing the presents/watching Christmas Vacation).

Basically, I don't like being more than slightly buzzed when I am around my kids, I just get panicky feeling/out of control if my head is fuzzy at all. If the kids are in bed I will relax a little, but still never get totally drunk, even if DH is staying sober, because a hangover with 2 kids is awful!!!!

[drloretta]

1. None
2. As much as they want
3. As much as I want
4. A glass of wine or bottle of beer at dinner
5. DH doesn't drink much, and one of us would probably limit our drinking

[whitepicketfence]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner?

One drink. Two to three if I am not driving.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink?

As much as he/she wants.

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink?

As much as I want although I don't normally drink more than one maybe two glasses of wine/beer.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

Probably 2 drinks each.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?

We can each have about 2 drinks. We need to stay sober enough that at least one of us can drive in case of an emergency.

To be honest, we rarely drink around our kids unless we're at a family gathering or picnic of some sort. I'm not a big drinker to begin with and don't usually even think of grabbing a glass of wine or anything else until after the kids go to bed. I'm so busy chasing our two toddlers around when they're awake that it doesn't even enter my train of thought - unless it's been a particularly stressful day, LOL. When they're older and a bit more independant, I'm sure this will change.

[mrssandro]

1. I would probably have a glass of wine and DH would be the designated driver.
2. I don't like buying drinks because I am cheap. So probably none.
3. I never really NEED a drink so this situation would not apply.
4. Ditto #3.
5. We never really drink all that much and never when she is sleeping.

The only time when I get a little buzzed is during our family Christmas party. Shots always happen. DH doesn't drink all that much and is always the DD in the family.

[Deleted]

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? 2 glasses

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? as much as the non-DD wants

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? As much as I want

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? well usually in this case we'll both have a drink, but if one of us had a particularly worse day than the other, we'll let the other get drunk. More often than not, we'll both stop at a drink or two.


5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? Same as 4, usually.

[papie]

1. It doesn't matter if I have my kids or not, if I'm alone or not. Two drinks is my limit when I drive.

2. Non-DD: as much as he wants.

3. Why would H not drink? We both drink at home.

4. A few drinks...no set limit.

5. Again, we are home, I don't see what the deal is, lol. If there is an emergency, I can always call for help, right?


What I,m taking out of this poll: I,m a lush

[aurora]

Aug 8, 2012 12:55:41 GMT -5 papie said:

1. It doesn't matter if I have my kids or not, if I'm alone or not. Two drinks is my limit when I drive.
...

I don't have kids so I'm not answering the poll as a whole, but I am surprised more people didn't reply like this to question #1. I mean, you've either had too many to drive or not, right? Why does it matter if you have the kids as far as driving goes?

I can see how kids would affect most of the other answers.

[statlerwaldorf]

1. I wouldn't drink any.

2. 2-4 drinks maybe more on an abnormally long night

3. As much as I want

4. N/a DH doesn't drink

5. As much as I want. DH doesn't drink.

[Deleted]

the idea of never being able to get drunk with my SO is seriously depressing.

[dr.girlfriend]

We're boring. My parents are alcoholics, so I've always pretty much had a one-drink limit at any event, and a drink-only-on-weekends rule. When my parents visit and I have wine every day I start to crave it when they leave, and that scares me a little. It's always been my rule, but in particular I would never want my child to see me drunk and out-of-control (and I know drunk doesn't necessarily mean out-of-control or angry drunk or anything, but those are some of my clearest childhood memories and I would never let that happen to DS).

DH is diabetic, and even before he was diagnosed he got to the point where even a sip of alcohol would make him horribly nauseous, so he doesn't drink at all.

[SusanBAnthony]

I haven't really thought about most of these scenarios. I will occasionally have 1 drink, usually beer or wine, when the kids are up, but never more than that, driving or not. But I was the same pre-kids.

I usually never have more than 2 drinks a nit, no matter what, so again, my answer is the same for all the scenarios. DH doesn't have more than two either, really, so this is obviously not an issue for us.

[marchmom06]

Kids are 5 & 6

1. You have the kids to yourself one night. You take them to your friends' house for dinner. Friend is serving wine. How much are you willing to drink if you have to drive the kids home (alone) after dinner? - 2 glasses, spread over some period of time.

2. The family is out for the night together (let's say in an atmosphere that is very conducive to drinking). Your husband/SO/whatever is with you. How much does the non-DD get to drink? - however much she/he wants?

3. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO is willing to sit this one out and take care of the kids. How much do you get to drink? - we would have a drink (or two) even with the kids around. Neither of us would get drunk, but we've shared a bottle of wine, made margaritas/cosmos/martinis, whatever.

4. You're all home together. You NEED a drink. Husband/SO NEEDS a drink. Kids aren't going to bed for hours. How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility? - Same as above.

5. You're all home. Kids are asleep. Party time! How much do the two of you get to drink/how do you allocate responsibility?- At that point, I'm more worried about getting up with the kids at 6 am, and we rarely after the kids are asleep. We prefer to do happy hour (around 5 or so)? We go to bed early, though, & I typically run on weekend mornings, so I wouldn't want to drink right before bed.

[MrsAxilla]

Aug 8, 2012 21:27:58 GMT -5 tacom said:

the idea of never being able to get drunk with my SO is seriously depressing.

Ditto. I'm going to knock on wood, but we've never had a situation come up that we couldn't handle after drinking. Our kid sleeps like a log and he doesn't have any medical conditions that might require a late night trip to the ER. The worst thing that happens is the kiddo gets up earlier than we'd like. We never get blackout drunk or too drunk to function, but we've definitely both been too drunk to drive. If something did come up, we'd call 911. It hasn't been an issue yet in five years. :::knocks on wood:::