Bialik and Similac Wrong About Breastfeeding Wars

[summer]

www.salon.com/2015/02/03/similac_and_mayim_bialik_are_both_wrong_about_the_breastfeeding_mom_wars/

I don’t want to have a mom war here either. Or if I do, can we at least have it over something like vaccinations or the Common Core standards? I’ll roll up my sleeves and get into any over stuff like that any day. But if we’re going to have to come to blows about that formula commercial, can we at least get some things straight first?



Ironically – or more likely, ingeniously on the part of Similac — the whole dustup started over a commercial that pokes fun at the culture of competitive parenting. In the formula company’s “Mother ‘Hood” spot, which debuted last month, a nervous looking young mother sits with her baby on a park bench while different gangs of hostile looking, baby brandishing archetypes descend: power suit wearing, cell phone chatting, lean-in moms, sleek yoga moms, discreetly covered nursing moms, bottle-waving formula moms, cute dads, biracial gay families. Soon, fighting words are exchanged, like “Drug free pool birth. Dolphin assisted.” And of course, because this is an advertisement designed to sell formula and not actually a public service message about getting along, the women argue over who’s “too lazy to breastfeed” and who’s “the nipple police.” It’s about to erupt in a full on melee, until a stroller rolls away down a hill, and all the parents race to rescue the runaway baby. The tagline? “Whatever our beliefs, we are parents first. Welcome to the sisterhood of motherhood.” On Similac’s site, the company expands on the idea, saying, “We believe it’s time to embrace mothers who choose to embrace motherhood…. The sisterhood has only one rule. Nourish each other the same way we nourish our children. And, just like the sister who’s got your back, we’re there to help you get through the first few days and months of motherhood with confidence — and zero judgment.”



Since debuting, the spot has gone viral, garnering close to seven million views in less than three weeks, and earning big marks for its ostensibly humorous take. Time said it “Perfectly Parodies the ‘Mommy Wars,’” while AdWeek enthused that it’s “One of the Most Honest Ads Ever About Parenting,” calling it “a message we modern parents need to hear.”



ADVERTISEMENT



But in a column for Kveller Monday, actress, author and Certified Lactation Educator Counselor Mayim Bialik takes issue with the spot. Saying that “I know that many people struggled to breastfeed and were heartbroken they could not do it. My heart goes out to those people, and I hope this doesn’t make everyone think I believe you are only a good mom if you breastfeed,” she goes on to note that the ad is “ignoring that [breastfeeding] is the medically recommended way to feed human babies.” And, she observes, it “reinforces negative stereotypes of breastfeeding moms, but doesn’t do the same for formula moms. A new mom is shown fumbling about as if breastfeeding is so hard, and all of the breastfeeding moms are covered up by those ‘tents.’”



As someone who nursed both her kids with a relative degree of ease, I admit I naturally fall toward the line of thought that isn’t about selling a product. But the problem that I have with both Similac’s perspective and Bialik’s takes is that neither fully articulates the modern realities of having and feeding a baby. For starters, can we admit that not everyone who doesn’t breastfeed is “struggling” or “heartbroken” about it? Can we also accept that, for a variety of reasons, not all parents are birth mothers? Yeah, hello, it’s 2015! Come join me in it!



Even Similac, with its nod to fathers and lesbian moms in its ad, seemed to scoot right past that in its heavy-handed message of “sisterhood.” People have babies via adoption. Via surrogacy. There are babies with affluent gay dads and there are babies being raised in poverty by their grandparents. They all need to eat. And I swear to God, if you think feeding babies is a concern of mostly white, well to do hetero women, I do believe this calls for a CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE alert. Here’s all you need to know about caring for a baby: People who don’t lactate do it too. Also, if you think having a child puts you in a “sisterhood” with every other woman who’s had a child, please feel free to hold your breath for that barbecue I’m going to have with Michelle Duggar, Mama June and Jenny McCarthy.

[mrsdewinter]

Yes, one of the things that struck me reading the MB piece was how problematic it is to equate BFing with good mothering, because (among other reasons) not every child is being raised by their birth mother. What about single fathers, gay couples, foster parents, etc.? They are entirely written out of the equation. And that's not even getting into the feminist, ableist or privilege aspects of what is wrong with MB's message.

And FWIW, I've breastfed three babies, so I'm a supporter of breastfeeding.

[eclaires]

I guess I don't see why Bialik had to respond to this commercial but I admit I am biased because her comments set my teeth on edge.

Is the commercial perfect? No. But it has a decent message IMO which is that everyone needs to quit tearing everyone around them down and accept that outside of a few things (like vaccinating lol) there is no wrong choice and we are all parents. They're valid choices and they're none of our collective business.

I love good judgmental fun, but some things should just be off limits. Are you feeding your baby? Yes? Good job.

Finally, I am almost 100% sure I remember (from my time in the trenches) that I've seen complaints by many mothers that BFing is difficult but that's never portrayed very well so when new mothers face challenges, they quit because it doesn't come naturally and they think it should. For some people - and I think she is one of these people - they will never be happy until everyone agrees with them.

Eta: I do love the point of this article though. I feel like the biggest parenting war issue that I face is this cult of mommy hood idea because it impacts almost every aspect of parenting. Idk. It seems to spread to everything and the idea that only mothers can do certain things or that they are the best only harms all of us imo.

[ECB]

People who don’t lactate do it too. Also, if you think having a child puts you in a “sisterhood” with every other woman who’s had a child, please feel free to hold your breath for that barbecue I’m going to have with Michelle Duggar, Mama June and Jenny McCarthy.


The bolded - exactly.  And the rest of it - just LOL!  Yeah, there are some women out there who I don't really feel all that "sisterly" about!

[katfco]

I admit, it kind of rankled that the video talked about motherhood, rather than parenthood, even with the nod to fathers, but in all, I thought it was great. I think the video did lend more credence to formula feeders (hello, formula ad!), but that's something formula moms often feel like they need. Current parenthood notions sway heavily in favor of "nurse if you can, and if you can't, try harder."

[ttt]

Feb 4, 2015 7:47:03 GMT -5 summer said:

Even Similac, with its nod to fathers and lesbian moms in its ad, seemed to scoot right past that in its heavy-handed message of “sisterhood.” People have babies via adoption. Via surrogacy. There are babies with affluent gay dads and there are babies being raised in poverty by their grandparents. They all need to eat. And I swear to God, if you think feeding babies is a concern of mostly white, well to do hetero women, I do believe this calls for a CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE alert. Here’s all you need to know about caring for a baby: People who don’t lactate do it too.

This is pretty naive. This ad is not a PSA or produced solely to make people feel warm and fuzzy - it's an advertisement. It's intended to convince women who might choose breastfeeding to feel OK with choosing formula instead. Adoptive mothers, single fathers, grandparents are going to be using formula regardless and so they're not the target audience of this ad. Mostly white, well to do hetero women are the target audience because they're the ones most likely to breastfeed (and Similac wants to change that). 

[Skyesthelimit1212]

A new mom is shown fumbling about as if breastfeeding is so hard, and all of the breastfeeding moms are covered up by those ‘tents.’”


This PISSES me off, BREASTFEEDING CAN BE HARD.  My lo didn't want to latch, when she did latch she would fall asleep no matter what I did to keep her awake, I didn't produce enough even when pumping, without formula my lo wouldn't have eaten.  I had to stop after 4mnths because I stopped producing.  
So Fuck Off with your breastfeeding is the easiest thing in the world! 

[KateAggie]

Have I missed where BFing moms are treated like less of a parent because they BF? Yes, BF moms have to put up with shit ("it's gross, cover up, time to quit, etc."), but I've never heard of a BFing woman told that she's less of a mom for BFing. Meanwhile...

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

[ttt]

Feb 4, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Have I missed where BFing moms are treated like less of a parent because they BF? Yes, BF moms have to put up with shit ("it's gross, cover up, time to quit, etc."), but I've never heard of a BFing woman told that she's less of a mom for BFing. Meanwhile...

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

Exactly. It's a commercial. It's designed to make women who are formula feeding feel good about it and to sway women who are on the fence towards using formula (and while they're at it, buy Similac!). It's selling formula, that's all.

[redheadbaker]

Feb 4, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

I disagree with this. Formula companies actively try to sway women from BFing to formula feeding. Why else would they send pregnant women (even those who didn't sign up on their sites) formula samples in the mail? Why else would they put formula samples in "swag bags" to give out at hospitals? My hospital had two kinds of bags -- one for formula-feeding moms and one for breastfeeding moms (they had a tag that specified which was which) -- they both had formula in them. 

[KateAggie]

Feb 4, 2015 9:33:11 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Feb 4, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

I disagree with this. Formula companies actively try to sway women from BFing to formula feeding. Why else would they send pregnant women (even those who didn't sign up on their sites) formula samples in the mail? Why else would they put formula samples in "swag bags" to give out at hospitals? My hospital had two kinds of bags -- one for formula-feeding moms and one for breastfeeding moms (they had a tag that specified which was which) -- they both had formula in them. 

This commercial is to sell their product.  The expectation that a commercial should be balanced is completely unrealistic.  It's not a PSA.

[redheadbaker]

Feb 4, 2015 9:36:07 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Feb 4, 2015 9:33:11 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

I disagree with this. Formula companies actively try to sway women from BFing to formula feeding. Why else would they send pregnant women (even those who didn't sign up on their sites) formula samples in the mail? Why else would they put formula samples in "swag bags" to give out at hospitals? My hospital had two kinds of bags -- one for formula-feeding moms and one for breastfeeding moms (they had a tag that specified which was which) -- they both had formula in them. 

This commercial is to sell their product.  The expectation that a commercial should be balanced is completely unrealistic.  It's not a PSA.

I don't think it needs to be completely balanced. And I don't necessarily think that THIS particular commercial was trying to "lure" mothers who want to breastfeed away from trying that. 

But formula companies DO actively try to get breastfeeding mothers (or pregnant women who want to try) to feed formula and it's ... insidious. 

[frlcb]

Is anyone in the world surprised that Mayim Bialik feels this way? Anyone?

[josieposy]

I just can't get it up for the formula vs. BF debate anymore. BF. Don't BF. Feed the baby. Who gives a shit?

At the end of the day nobody is forcing mom to use the samples some company sent her.

[frlcb]

Feb 4, 2015 9:57:36 GMT -5 josieposy said:

I just can't get it up for the formula vs. BF debate anymore. BF. Don't BF. Feed the baby. Who gives a shit?

At the end of the day nobody is forcing mom to use the samples some company sent her.

Agreed. Just feed your baby. 

[charminglife]

BF, FF - I don't really care. I wish publications would focus on how little our society does to help new parents actually adjust to feeding, caring, and generally keeping an infant alive than these feeding debates. Sure, it would be great if babies could have breastmilk for a year - but some tools to make that happen would be helpful. Paid parental leave? More than 6 weeks of maternity leave? Accommodations for breastfeeding mothers in all workplaces? Instead we get bullshit SCOTUS decisions that affirm that companies don't have to accommodate breastfeeding women.

/end rant. I'm a little grumpy this morning.

[thejackpot]

Yeah, over the bf vs ff crap. I am on baby #3 so I am over a lot of crap but an ad from Similac doesn't need a response from pro BF advocate Mayim. They know their ultimate goal and so should she.

[mominatrix]

There's a lot of controversy over the "marketing" of formula to begin with. The WHO (and 84 countries) actually say that formula ads should be banned.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Code_of_Marketing_of_Breast-milk_Substitutes


BF/FF... the important thing is that you feed the baby.


The marketing aspects, though, open up a whole can of worms beyond who feels "good" and "bad" about a particular ad.

[annieblah]

Feb 4, 2015 9:33:11 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Feb 4, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

I disagree with this. Formula companies actively try to sway women from BFing to formula feeding. Why else would they send pregnant women (even those who didn't sign up on their sites) formula samples in the mail? Why else would they put formula samples in "swag bags" to give out at hospitals? My hospital had two kinds of bags -- one for formula-feeding moms and one for breastfeeding moms (they had a tag that specified which was which) -- they both had formula in them. 

Because they're a business?  Of course they do, but they don't shame you into thinking you failed because you chose their product.  And formula is food so they want you to have something (hospital) should there be issues.  I am confused by the rest.

[sparkythelawyer]

Feb 4, 2015 9:03:37 GMT -5 KateAggie said:

Have I missed where BFing moms are treated like less of a parent because they BF? Yes, BF moms have to put up with shit ("it's gross, cover up, time to quit, etc."), but I've never heard of a BFing woman told that she's less of a mom for BFing. Meanwhile...

I guess I just don't understand why everything has to be 100% balanced to be appreciated. A formula commercial is not marketing to those who can and want to BF.

*Insert wild applause .gif here."

ALLLL of this.

And really, people taking issue with the commerical do not seem to even be advocating 100% balance.  It is still a "Well, I guess you can formula feed, I mean, if you absolutely have to... like it needs to be some sort of last resort for gay dads and "moms that just didn't try hard enough" or somesuchbullshit.

Similac is allowed to sell their perfectly acceptable product.  They are allowed to advertise it as a perfectly acceptable means of feeding a child.  BECAUSE IT IS ONE.

[redheadbaker]

Feb 4, 2015 10:59:58 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

The idea that we wouldn't even let formula companies advertise because their product is so bad is absolutely absurd.

It's all well and good to say, "Feeding your baby is best," in one breath, but then, "Breast is best, formula commercials should be banned!" in the next.

This was a commercial. It did not make me feel warm and fuzzy. It is trying to sell a product. Mayim Bialik is one of the stupidest people alive. Breast milk is fine. Formula is fine.

Who said they shouldn't advertise because their product is bad? 

[Skyesthelimit1212]

When I was in the hspt and the nurses knew that I was having trouble bf they asked if I wanted to ff and were "happy" that I said yes. I can't imagine a mother saying "no, if I can't bf then my baby doesn't eat."

[earlgreyhot]

The commercial was good. I (BF'r of DS for two years and DD is 6m+ and counting and doesn't even take a bottle) watched it, laughed, and when the Similac logo popped at the end my reactions was "Well played, Similac."

I think people like Mayim Bialik, and everyone else who wants to double-down on the "breast is best argument" after seeing the commercial, is just making mommy war. And it's really no surprise, because it's the fanatics, like MB, who can't let shit go that keeps the wars warring. 

I feel even more more militant about people just getting the fuck over it now that my sister is undergoing chemo and is unable BF her 2 month old. I will cut a bitch if I hear anyone say anything about her being less than a mom because they see her formula feeding. Cut. A. Bitch.

[hopecounts]

Feb 4, 2015 10:46:56 GMT -5 mominatrix said:

There's a lot of controversy over the "marketing" of formula to begin with. The WHO (and 84 countries) actually say that formula ads should be banned.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Code_of_Marketing_of_Breast-milk_Substitutes


BF/FF... the important thing is that you feed the baby.


The marketing aspects, though, open up a whole can of worms beyond who feels "good" and "bad" about a particular ad.

WHO is also addressing issues that are less of a problem here.
One of the reasons BFing is so important to WHO is many of the world's developing nations have poor access to clean water for formula, getting formula once started can be an issue, etc. 
So WHO recommendations are good but may not be the most relevant to our country.
Though as we know WIC providing of formula is often less then what is needed which can cause issues here but that's another post.

[redheadbaker]

Feb 4, 2015 11:28:52 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

Feb 4, 2015 11:06:32 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Who said they shouldn't advertise because their product is bad? 

The stuff mominatrix was referencing

WHO and UNICEF didn't propose the marketing act because formula is a bad product. 

[wawa]

Feb 4, 2015 11:34:39 GMT -5 @bunnybean said:

Feb 4, 2015 11:31:15 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

WHO and UNICEF didn't propose the marketing act because formula is a bad product. 

What is the point, then? If formula is great and just as good for your baby as breast milk, there should be no problem showing all the advertising in the world to people.

Because of the issues raised like 5 posts above - that in many areas of the world there is not consistent access to clean water.  Which means pushing formula on people is making baby's sick.  It's not an issue with the formula exactly - but it does mean that they should ideally be circumspect in their advertising in that area. 

[AJL]

I took advantage of my own milk making capabilities AND the formula samples I got in the mail and requested from the hospital, as well as what I bought for my children. I breastfed, formula fed, and fed breast milk in a bottle to both of my children. I felt pressure to exclusively breastfeed with my first until a wonderful friend of my MIL's said, "Honey, fuck 'em all. You feed your baby how you want to feed him. Snuggle him close. You're HIS mama. Don't let anyone tell you what to do."

I breastfed when it was convenient to do so. I bottle fed when it was convenient to do so. I gave formula when my breasts weren't available (because they and I had gone out for the evening.) My children are healthy and happy. I'm not getting into a war over what is best. I don't care what anyone or any group thinks is best. I only care about what I think is best for my children and family.

Everyone else can suck it (no pun intended.)

[ttt]

In the US and developed countries, formula and breastfeeding are both perfectly acceptable, safe, healthy ways to feed your baby. But in countries where access to clean water is limited, where access to healthcare is limited, where disease is more rampant, this is not true. Breastfeeding is much healthier than formula feeding in areas like this. This is why formula marketing is a big problem, ethically, in developing countries.

www.smh.com.au/world/infantformula-giants-accused-of-risking-lives-20130217-2el70.html

BREAST might be best but 30 years of product boycotts and regulation has failed to stop big companies promoting infant formula in ways that put babies and small children at risk in developing countries, new research shows.

A report by Save the Children names a clutch of global brands, including Nestle, Danone, Mead Johnson, Abbott, Friso and Enfamil as being involved in dubious marketing practices.

It estimates 95 babies could be saved every hour, or 830,000 a year, if new mothers across the world breastfed immediately after giving birth.

When babies receive colostrum - the mother's first milk - within an hour of birth, it kickstarts the child's immune system, making them three times more likely to survive. Babies in developing countries breastfed for six months are up to 15 times less likely to die from diseases like pneumonia and diarrhoea.


But the report says a lack of education in poor communities, a shortage of health workers in developing countries and dubious marketing by some baby-milk substitute companies are contributing to declining breastfeeding rates across east Asia and parts of Africa.

A long-running campaign has promoted breastfeeding over infant formula, especially in developing countries where a scarcity of clean water can make the use of milk substitutes risky.

A global boycott of Nestle - the biggest player in the baby food market - was launched in 1977 to end contentious marketing of infant milk formula, especially to poor women.

In 1981 the World Health Organisation introduced the International Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes, which limits the marketing practices of infant-formula companies, including a ban on gifts to health workers or promoting baby food products in hospitals and clinics.

But the Save the Children report concludes that violations of the WHO code continue and ''many infant-formula companies conducting marketing and lobbying practices that, we believe, put children at risk''.

One in five Pakistan health workers surveyed for the report received branded gifts from representatives of breast-milk substitute companies. More than one in 10 of the Pakistani mothers surveyed said they had seen promotional literature about breast-milk substitutes while in hospital or a clinic.

In China a quarter of mothers surveyed had received gifts from representatives of baby milk substitute companies and 40 per cent had been given formula samples, often in hospitals. The report also details clear breaches of the WHO code in Laos and Ecuador.

The report describes one recently terminated program run by a subsidiary of Danone in Indonesia under which midwives and other health workers were given cash and free flights to Mecca in return for selling infant formula.

A 2012 survey cited in the report said one in 10 Pakistan health clinics reported receiving free samples of breast-milk substitutes and ''68 per cent said that the sample had been manufactured by Nestle''.

Nestle Australia said in a statement to Fairfax Media it had the industry's toughest system to enforce WHO code compliance and was disappointed its comments on a draft of the report were ''only marginally'' taken into account.

''We have asked Save the Children for more information on concerns raised in the report, so that we can investigate them,'' Nestle said. ''We will take appropriate action if violations are found.''

The global milk formula market is estimated to be worth $US25 billion a year and strong growth is predicted, especially in Asia. The number of breastfeeding mothers in east Asia and the Pacific fell from 45 per cent to 29 per cent between 2006 and 2012, the report says.

''Despite the benefits of breastfeeding being widely known in the developed world, and it being a free, natural way to protect a newborn baby, too little attention is being paid to help mums breastfeed in poorer countries,'' said Lynne Benson, head of international programs at Save the Children in Australia.

[earlgreyhot]

Ok, so formula companies have made (continue to make...) big mistakes when it comes to advertising in third world countries where breastfeeding can makes huge differences in the health of babies. The Similac ad in question is not one of those ads. It's geared for women in the western world who really need to stop with the mommy wars. The LeLeche League could vary well made the same with a similar message. Similac deserves a pat on the back for the effort.

Maybe the LLL could create an ad stop the mommy wars and educate us how we can help support our sisters in the parts of the world who don't have access to running water.

[phdprocrastinator]

I will listen to MB's stance on what science says I should do for my family when *she* listens to what science says about vaccines. What an f-ing hypocrite.

FWIW, I have breastfeed both girls. With number one, I started supplementing with formula when my apply tanked, but still bf-ed until a year. With number two, I plan to introduce formula once she starts taking a bottle (she's stubborn) just to give me some wiggle room to leave the house without worrying about how much milk we have on hand.