Boy girl boy & stupidly disappointed

[ae100]

Using an AE here because I'm embarrassed about how I feel. Please don't flame.

I have a 5.5 year old boy almost 2 year old girl and found out recently that #3 is a boy. Before I found out, I really thought I would be happy with either. A brother for my son, a sister for my daughter , we already had one of each - no pressure, right? Well, pregnancy hormones obviously suck and I actually found myself somewhat upset that this one is a second boy. Some moments, I'll be smiling about it and happily looking back at baby boy clothes and remembering how wonderful my son was (and still is), and other times I'm in tears because I guess I was really imagining my daughter with a sister close in age. Rationally I feel like I know I am being ridiculous and I already love this baby an incredible amount, I just wish I could stop having those sad moments in the day where I can't stop imagining two little girls. I have a feeling that if this one had been a girl, I would have been crying over not giving my son a brother so I feel ridiculous! 

Anyways, if you have a similar birth order please give me some reassuarnce - can my 2 boys still be close even though they will be almost 6 years apart? can my daughter be close to her little brother even though they are different genders? should I be thanking god that I won't have two bickering 13 and 15 year old girls in my house down the road ?

[countthestars]

Hugs. I only have anecdotes, but two of my best friends have same sex siblings that are 7 years younger and they are very close. Additionally, H has 4 brothers and is closest with the one who is 5 years younger. It's okay to be disappointed for a little bit. It's hard when you are picturing things to come out one way and there is a deviation.

[dancingirl21]

I only have one child, however, my sister and I are 7 years apart (with a brother in between). Growing up there were times that we could not relate to each other. She was in middle school when I left for college. But I do have extremely fond memories of the three of us together (not just the two of us) being very close and enjoying our childhood together.

My sister now lives with us and she and I are extremely close.

[karinothing]

I can't speak to the birth order party from personal experience but my friend has two boys almost 6 years apart, and they are the best of friends.

My brother and I are obviously opposite genders and super closed

Sorry you are feeling a bit of sadness! I hope it passes quickly and congrats on the baby boy

[cricketwife]

I only have one child, a son, but if it helps, I feel like with number 2, I'll be disappointed no matter which it is. I feel like if it's a girl, I'll be sad that DS won't have a brother and if it's a boy, I'll be sad that we'll never have a girl. It sounds ridiculously pessimistic, but I think these things can just be emotional. Give yourself some time to wrap your brain around what your family gender breakdown will look like. You know that you'll adore all three of your children and it won't really matter. Also, fwiw, my family--as in, my own siblings- we're boy, girl, boy. I' always liked it because each one of us was "special" There was "the oldest" "the youngest" and "the girl" if that makes sense. Of course every child is special, but it can boy girl boy can be great!

[Deleted]

Little different, but my family was G,B,G. My sister and I are ten years apart (she's 4 years younger than my brother) and though we didn't "play" together in the same way growing up, we are extremely close now. We're actually all pretty close.

I know it's obviously not what you expected, but I bet with a little bit of time you'll come back and tell us you wouldn't change it for the world.

[matildasun]

I have a son and a daughter who are 2.5 years apart. They are really close and enjoy each other. I believe they will be friends even as they get older.

[Deleted]

My H is a middle boy between two sisters. He and his younger sister were very close growing up and played together all the time. Now that they are grown he is close to his older sister. I dont think sex/gender dictates the stength of the relationship.

Also, yes, be thankful you won't have two girls close in age as teenagers. My sister and I were mean, hormonal, bitches. I fear for my future with my girls.

There are pros and cons to every order, age gap etc. It will all work out.

[rootbeerfloat]

My son and daughter are just under 3 years apart. They are best buds (when they don't fight over dumb stuff, haha). I can't predict the future, of course, but I like to think they will be continue to be as close as they are now as they grow up.

[SpartanGirl]

My family make up is different, but we had G, B, G (and then another G). DD1 and DS are very, very close. DD1 and DD2 are not as close honestly, but I think part of that is because DD1 is so close to DS and DD2 and DD3 are really tight. I think part of it has to do with their ages too.

Honestly, whether they are close or not has less to do with boy/girl and more to do with similar temperaments and personalities.

[Velar Fricative]

I'm 16 months younger than my brother and we are still very close.

My brother is also very close to our two younger sisters (bigger age differences there - they are 6.5 and 11 years younger than him).

Brothers and sisters of any age difference can be close.

[ae100]

Feb 4, 2015 13:24:03 GMT -5 @starry said:

Willis Jackson

Nope. I probably don't post enough/consistently enough for anyone to recognize me, but i just wanted to use an ae because i'm so embarrassed 

[mrsGreeko]

Hugs.

My family is girl-boy-boy, so I was the only girl. It was tough sometimes, but in a lot of ways it was cool. My little brothers are 4 years apart and they are best friends.

My kids are girl-girl-boy. My middle and youngest are 2.5 years apart and are friends even though one is a girl and one is a boy.

It will be okay. But it's still okay to feel a bit sad and unsure about it now.

[pinkdutchtulips]

I'm SUPER close to my baby sis and she's ... .SIX years younger than me

I've got a younger sister (2 years younger than me) and a brother (3 years younger than me) .. younger sister and I fight like cats and dogs.

I wouldn't worry about the age gap.

[marshmallowmars]

My family was B, B, G and I didn't mind it at all. I love my brothers and we are all very close. I would say based on our personalities that me and my middle brother are actually closer than the 2 boys are, and it was like that growing up too. I loved playing all the "boy" sports and toys with my brothers. But I also had plenty of girl friends and did more "girly" things too. It never bothered me that I didn't have a sister.

Also re: the age gap, my DS is 3.5 and he calls his 10-year old boy cousin his best friend. They play games and have plenty of fun together.

[cinco]

My daughter was 5.5 and my son was 3.5 when DD2 was born. Before I was pregnant I imagined another boy b/c they would be closer in age. I felt like it was a girl right away, and DD1 was very outspoken about wanting a girl, so I was very excited at the u/s. I still felt a little sad about not having another boy, but I would have felt that way about not having another girl too.


In the beginning DS and DD2were inseparable. They had such a special connection and it made us feel a little bad for DD1, but she is in her own world sometimes. It has slowly changed though, and now the girls (5.5 years apart) play more together than DS and DD2. She still adores her big brother and he is so helpful and protective of her, but she has a special sister thing going on with DD1. She mimics her and likes all the things she likes. They each have their own special relationship with one another, and it is constantly growing and changing. I have loved watching all of them.( This includes my oldest 2 who also have their own special thing. They do a lot of the same sports. )

[KKD]

Feb 4, 2015 13:49:50 GMT -5 Jennyanydots said:

I'm the G in a B, G, B family and it really mitigates middle child syndrome! As the only girl, it helped offset being the middle child. Each kid will have something special - oldest, only girl, youngest. I used to want a sister when I was little, but now I think it's kinda nice to just have me and my mom be the two girls in the family.

This is how it is with H's family. They all played well together as kids, and H and his brother have always been close and were each other's best man. Plus, his sister has a special bond with each of her parents as the only girl.

I can certainly understand the disappointment; the main reason I found out with DD2 was because I wanted to prepare myself for disappointment if she were a boy because I really wanted a sister for DD1. We didn't find out with DS, and after he was born it took me some time to warm up to the idea of a boy because I had it in my head that we were meant to have all girls, but now I can't imagine it any other way.

[Willis Jackson]

Hello!

DS1 is almost 6, DD is 3.5 and DS2 is 5mo. I love it! Like cricketwife, I love that each kid has their special thing: the oldest, the youngest, and the girl. DS1 and DD are pals, but it took me by surprise to see how sweet my two boys are together. I love watching DS2 laugh and smile at his big brother, and to know that he'll feel that adoration for a long time.

[simpsongal]

The brothers from car talk were quite far apart in age and they were so close!

It may actually better than close in age boys b/c they often fight

[whitepicketfence]

I can't speak from experience as we have 3 of the same gender but I can tell you that I'm terrified of what our house will be like with 3 hormonal teenage girls. I was a downright bitch as a teenager and I feel like this is the universe's way of paying me back.

It's ok to feel disappointed right now. Give yourself some time to wrap your brain around what your family is going to look like. You will love all your children, I promise. In a few years, you probably won't even be able to imagine your family looking any other way.

[brooklyn]

My sister and I are 7 years apart and are very close friends.

My H has a brother two years older than him, and a brother 2 years younger than him and they have both cut him out of their lives.

So you never can predict how things will go. It will all work out, try not to stress.

[mellimel19]

My sister and I are 7 1/2 years apart. Growing up we weren't always terribly close because we were in different stages. However once I started college and we were both "adults," we became very close, and have remained that way. We both have young children now, and I feel like that has brought us even closer.

[nachos]

It's okay to feel this way.

Not to put a damper on things, but even if the baby was a girl there's no guarantee that they would be close. I haven't spoken to my sister in over five years, and we have never been close.

I agree with those who say that it's not about the sex of the child, but about how close they are. My DS and DD are very close - there is almost a three year age difference between them.

[Deleted]

Feb 4, 2015 18:18:44 GMT -5 pennypenny said:

I only have a brother. But I wanted a brother. We are very close and have always been. Also, I know @misoangry is very close to her brother too. And my brother and I are 6 years apart so an age gap didn't hurt our relationship.

My brother is the shit!

I have no idea what this thread is about.  LOL.

[/leaving]