I need some DC nap help.

[arch01]

I'm all ears. DS has been refusing to nap at DC-which is fine, but the problem is that he's being incredibly loud and waking everyone else up. They've tried separating him, giving him books, quiet activities, we've brought a special stuffed animal in, someone sits by him-reward charts (school and home), taking things away, bribing with a treat (car, swimming, etc.) and nothing seems to work. Today he managed to unlace his shoes and get half way undressed while the teacher was assisting a kid in the bathroom.

I'm starting to think that it's an attention getting technique. He told the director yesterday that he just doesn't feel like listening at nap time. He told me that he was being annoying at naptime-so he knows that he's acting out but just doesn't care. They tried threatening to call me/DH, he just said "ok". I really don't care what kind of technique they use-as long as my kid will STFU. The substitute teacher today told me that if she got a little harsh with him, he'd just get louder. He did shut up yesterday when the director came in. He's typically well behaved (listens/follows directions well) throughout the day. The sub also told me that he attempts to be very manipulative, which also leads me to believe that he's doing this to attract attention (positive or negative). He's the youngest in his class by about 3 months, but we've also gotten the feedback that he's almost bored at some points in the day because verbally he's well ahead of most of his class and he knows a good bit academically. I know verbally he does very well, so it doesn't surprise me that he tries to manipulate people. Even the teacher, who is very no bullshit (the #1 reason why I love her), struggles with him at naptime.

The director is going to check on his class tomorrow at various parts of the day-make sure he's running around enough outside, etc. We don't think that's an issue though because he's running at 1000% when he walks in the door and still at 1000% when he walks out the door 7 hours later. I'm also going to talk to DH about putting more protein in DS in the mornings. 

DS and DH discuss it at home before he leaves for DC. I discuss it with him at night before bed. He naps just fine at home.

The teacher has been teaching for 30 years and is out of tricks. The director is out of tricks. Unlike his last classroom where I was tired of negative feedback, I LOVE his teacher and know she's truly trying. I totally understand her position-she can only do so much because she has other kids to watch (who don't nap)...and it's not feasible to always have someone else in there for just my kid.

Ideas?? What am I missing? Again-I'd love for him to nap, but if he doesn't-fine. He just needs to STFU. 

[redheadk]

Can he just go with the other kids who don't nap?

I'm sorry. My DD doesn't nap at Mother's Day Out and it's rough on them. I feel terrible about it and opt to just pick her up before nap time when I can (bonus for me since I can come home and put her down for a nap) but I do work and can't do it every time. I wish I had some answers but all I have is commiseration.

[arch01]

They are required to stay on their cots. They can have whatever quiet activity they want-as long as their booty stays on the cot

[redheadk]

Could he lay down on his cot for 15-20 minutes (long enough for the others to fall asleep and for him to have a fair chance at falling asleep) and then go do something quiet that doesn't require active monitoring on the teachers end? I know they are required to stay on their cots but, well, he's not, and he's 3. I don't see how they are possibly going to get him to lay quietly, not sleeping, on his cot for an entire nap time at this point.

[undecidedowl]

I felt like you were writing that about my DS1. Crazy how similar our situation is. At this point, I'm basically just letting daycare deal with it. I've explained that at home we are able to turn white noise on and close the door so I don't have any other tricks for them. They have tried just about everything, someone even rocked him to sleep one day! Lol. Typically, they just block him of in a corner and let him go to town with books, toys, taking cushions of all the kid couches, etc. I know it's a pain for them, but it's what I pay them for. On the rare occasions that he does fall asleep, they get so excited that they text me to let me know.

[arch01]

redheadk-thanks. I sort of wondered too if they were expecting too much of him, but if other kids are doing it... maybe it's not so unreasonable after all. They start it in the 2s classroom, they had some kids who dropped their naps early. I guess it helps to add that DS is HORRIBLE at independent play, so that's no help.

undecidedowl-I'm half "sucks to be you" and half sympathetic at this point. The biggest thing is him being loud-short of duck tape, I'm not sure what to suggest to them. If he goes and plays on his own (which may be a bad thing since other kids will see him that are actually following directions), I'm not sure that'll stop his motor mouth.

[undecidedowl]

arch01 I feel like we have the same kid! Can't play alone, craves lots of attention, non stop talking, loud! So, at least you have my sympathy! Do they have any aides that could give him some extra attention? That's the only thing that works well for DS1. But, of course, it requires someone to actually be available. I know a couple of teachers have spent their lunch time trying to get DS1 to nap and I do feel bad about that.

[jeaniebueller]

Feb 4, 2015 18:52:13 GMT -5 arch01 said:

They are required to stay on their cots. They can have whatever quiet activity they want-as long as their booty stays on the cot

Would it help to have your ped write a note exempting him from naptime? I commiserate. DS hasn't regularly napped since he was 2 and regularly got in trouble during imposed naptime at preschool last year. I was at my wits end.

[lilac05]

It does sound like it's attention seeking.

Would the teachers be open to trying to completely ignore his noise and activity for 2-3 days while lavishly praising the other children who ARE doing what is expected? "Good job staying on your cot, Owen!" "Oh, I like how Elizabeth is resting with her eyes closed!" "Great choice of books, Lilly!" etc. It may mean more interrupted sleep for the other kids for a short period, but better rest and relaxation for the rest of the year if it works.

DS1 can be that way sometimes where NOTHING I try works. I have a million child behavior tricks up my sleeve and sometimes NOTHING works except to ignore it and walk away. As soon as he realizes he's not entertaining or irritating me, he generally stops. He is also more likely to behave if I point out the good decisions that others are making. Seeing them get attention makes him want to do whatever it is to get attention, too.

[arch01]

Feb 4, 2015 21:19:57 GMT -5 undecidedowl said:

arch01 I feel like we have the same kid! Can't play alone, craves lots of attention, non stop talking, loud! So, at least you have my sympathy! Do they have any aides that could give him some extra attention? That's the only thing that works well for DS1. But, of course, it requires someone to actually be available. I know a couple of teachers have spent their lunch time trying to get DS1 to nap and I do feel bad about that.

Haha now I know who to tag when I am at my wits end about DS He'd rather help us than play with toys-he empties the dishwasher and folds laundry (towels, rags, etc.) instead of playing on his own. Weirdo. At least he'll make a good husband some day...

They've been trying to have someone sit with him but it hasn't been working. I know he's a bit more intimidated by the director, he likes her but man, she whipped him into shape yesterday when he ran off without me. It was pretty impressive. I think the others he tries to manipulate and he knows they think he's cute/interactive/whatever, so they have a harder time putting their foot down with him.

jeaniebueller-I may have to go down that road. Thanks for the idea!

lilac05-I'll definitely bring that to the teacher today. I know they point out other kids' good behavior to him, but maybe a little over the top drama would help.