Boring and Small Town FB Shenanigans CONVERGE

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

First, a post from the town (that Boring doesn't even live in anymore) FB page, plus pertinent comments (all from OP).

17 hrs
When driving, please pay attention and for some of you, please learn how to drive and not stop at a green light on * St to turn on * St when there is no one coming. Now I just avoided an accident by getting in the wrong lane to not hit that guys back end. Who does that? I don't have time for road games.
I'm talking about the one in front of CVS.. There was no one else on the road near the intersection except that car and mine. I was behind him and he was going to turn right onto railroad st or whatever that street is called and I put on my turn signal to go left into CVS and he stopped.. Mind you he was going 20mph all the way through town and I was following him getting mad that he was going so slow.. Then he decided to stop and brake check me. So I got into the opposite lane and turned left into CVS cause I was less than a foot away from his back end.. Mind you, no one was coming the other way or I probably would of hit someone head on for doing that. I'm just saying, when there is no one else out at night don't break check someone at a green light. My son is almost always in my car, now thankfully tonight he wasn't and quick thinking.. I avoided hitting him like he wanted me to do.
People need to have a driving test every time that drivers license expires instead of giving people a new card. It's ridiculous anymore. No wonder I waited til I was 20 to even get my permit.
I wasn't in a hurry lol it just irritates me when someone is going 20 in a 35 and then stop at a green light. I simply left off the brakes cause the light was green and he stopped. I was a car length behind him.. But regardless, I was just saying to watch cause no one knows how to drive anymore.. You have Sunday drivers, and people that pull out right in front of everyone.. Then at * corner everyone thinks they have the right away. Lol

Now, a post from Boring's page.

13 hrs
Some people are, well I don't know a nice enough word to use, so yeah. If you feel the need to complain about someone driving then be sure you are the one who was being tailgated, not the other way around. See if you are the one tailgating you are the one who could be in danger of causing an accident. Why do people think they own the road and complain because people are driving way too slow for them and decide to ride their bumper of the car in front of them, no matter how slow they are going. If you don't like following them then find another route. I know in the town that this this person was ranting about that where this person was going there were plenty of route to the business she was going to that he/she could have taken to avoid following someone she thought was going too slow. Quit tailgating, slow your vehicle down, and drive safer. That person was blaming the driver in front who brake checking, brake checking because of follow less than 1 foot behind. Crazy drivers that shouldn't be on the road. One day that person is either going to rear-end, or have a head-on collision with someone. And that person also had the nerve to say people should be tested every time they get their licenses renewed. lol! That is one person who probably shouldn't have one. Okay, I'm done ranting and going to bed. Good night!

[So_Fetch]

I feel like Boring might need her own blog and that FB should have a max character count for posts.

[Eagles]

I'm so glad she always says good night.  Makes me feel warm inside.    

[FastHands]

LOL. I don't actually disagree with her, but remembering the context that this woman is a "writer," this slays me:
That person was blaming the driver in front who brake checking, brake checking because of follow less than 1 foot behind.

Also, she sounds like Sarah Palin. haha

RexManningDay , were you going to share an excerpt at some point? Did I miss that??

[anlo]

Feb 5, 2015 15:38:11 GMT -5 FastHands said:

LOL. I don't actually disagree with her, but remembering the context that this woman is a "writer," this slays me:
That person was blaming the driver in front who brake checking, brake checking because of follow less than 1 foot behind.

Also, she sounds like Sarah Palin. haha

RexManningDay , were you going to share an excerpt at some point? Did I miss that??

It's almost poetic.

The driver in front
Who brake checking, brake checking
Because of follow...
Less than 1 foot behind.

[bittybomb]

Feb 5, 2015 15:52:09 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Ah yes, I was going to do that.

Stop it right now.

This is in a book that was released to the public?

I am doing something wrong in life.

[litebright]

Wait this is the ACTUAL BORING BOOK?!?! OMG.

So much for her supposed "editor", lol!

[anlo]

Oh my.

[bittybomb]

Lol. She gets what? $2.99 a book? Maybe I will!

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

The worst thing?

Rex edited that. IT'S WORSE.

[FastHands]

Feb 5, 2015 15:52:09 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Ah yes, I was going to do that.

Ahem. The start of Chapter One of Boring's book. That I will delete just in case in a while. PDQ.

“.”

[Eagles]

Feb 5, 2015 15:52:09 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Ah yes, I was going to do that.

I have tears in my eyes.  Of laughter.  Not literary appreciation. 

[FastHands]

her's
her's
her's
HER's
HER'S

YOU GUYSSSS.

[FastHands]

Feb 5, 2015 16:13:04 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Feb 5, 2015 16:10:39 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

The worst thing?

Rex edited that. IT'S WORSE.

LOL! I didn't mean to edit it. I did have to type it into Word though. Clippy was like "Oh honey ... no. Let me fix that. I know you didn't ask."

I'm not sure I have ever laughed that loudly at something I read here. That was a straight-up guffaw.

[alicenelson]

Feb 5, 2015 16:13:21 GMT -5 FastHands said:

her's
her's
her's
HER's
HER'S

YOU GUYSSSS.

I know, right?  It made my twitchy eye start to wonder.

[FastHands]

Can this be like.... our reward?
Can we have an ML sticker chart, and if we're really REALLY good, we'll get a sentence or 2?

[captainobvious]

Can someone please explain the first sentence from the book to me, because I'm too dumb to understand it.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Feb 5, 2015 16:14:29 GMT -5 alicenelson said:

Feb 5, 2015 16:13:21 GMT -5 FastHands said:

her's
her's
her's
HER's
HER'S

YOU GUYSSSS.

I know, right?  It made my twitchy eye start to wonder.

One time, my family was at our friends' house for dinner, and the four of us (me, H, BFF, and her H) were tipsy, and we started telling them about Boring.  They didn't believe us, so they bought the book, and the H began reading it out loud.  He's a grammar nazi and couldn't contain himself.  He found a way to use WONDER??? incorrectly in every sentence the rest of the night, and none of the kids knew why we all cried over it.

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Feb 5, 2015 16:16:27 GMT -5 captainobvious said:

Can someone please explain the first sentence from the book to me, because I'm too dumb to understand it.

(spoiler:  that's the edited one)

[captainobvious]

Now explain "Avery, her, my twin brother..."

[zizibet]

Oh lord.

[captainobvious]

Feb 5, 2015 16:17:08 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

Feb 5, 2015 16:16:27 GMT -5 captainobvious said:

Can someone please explain the first sentence from the book to me, because I'm too dumb to understand it.

(spoiler:  that's the edited one)

I meant the second sentence. I missed the period and thought it was all one long sentence. I told you I was dumb! 

[Ohhmm(bligo)]

Feb 5, 2015 16:19:52 GMT -5 captainobvious said:

Feb 5, 2015 16:17:08 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

(spoiler:  that's the edited one)

I meant the second sentence. I missed the period and thought it was all one long sentence. I told you I was dumb! 

You'd think a Captain Obvious would be able to point out the actual dumb in this post.

[katfco]

Is she an angsty, self-important 14-year-old? Because that's the only way that writing is even remotely acceptable, and even at that, I'd still run my red pen all over it.

[captainobvious]

ALso, guys, I'm going to write a book. It's going to be amazing. You'll buy it, right? ML discounted pricing available.

[FastHands]

Feb 5, 2015 16:18:35 GMT -5 captainobvious said:

Now explain "Avery, her, my twin brother..."

I think she's trying to set up something significant. Like Her capital-H. She walks through the raindrops but never gets wet. She is magnificence personified. Don't you wonder who she is, this woman of mystery?!?

IT'S LITERATURE, DAMMIT.


It's so bad. I, too, was like "wtf. 'Her' WHO?"

[elleblue]

Oh the fremdschamen of it all.

[FastHands]

Feb 5, 2015 16:22:07 GMT -5 RexManningDay said:

Feb 5, 2015 16:17:08 GMT -5 Ohhmm(bligo) said:

(spoiler:  that's the edited one)

lololol I see it!! I fixed it.

[lexxasaurus]

Mornings are the most utmost detestable? Really?

Also "her's" and "Avery, her, my twin brother" but I see those have been mentioned. My head hurts because those two paragraphs are so bad.

Does she follow by laying on her bed, scribbling sadness into a journal as she cries to an angsty radio hit?

[meij]

If this was GOMI I would change my name to Her's Utmost Detestable Mornings.