My ILs had DH when they were OMG OLD! (by your standards). He was planned and wanted, even 15 and 17 years after their older children. I'm quite thankful they decided to have another baby when they were OMG SO OLD, because hey, DH is pretty cool.
DH's parents are 10 (or more) years older than my parents and even now, in their 70s, they're the healthier, more active set of grandparents.
Really, having kids later in life isn't as terrible as you're making it sound.
The biggest concern with pregnancy in the mid-40s is getting pregnant in the first place. She's obviously fine On that front. I hope you won't be so rude when you talk to her to congratulate her on her presumably very wanted pregnancy.
(But count me in as the first of my local friends to have a baby, at 31 when they were born.)
Post by pinkdutchtulips on Feb 24, 2015 18:12:53 GMT -5
my grandmother had 4 between 30 and 34 in the 1950's (might as well been 40+ back then)! A dear friend of mine from college is due w/ her FIRST any day now at 41 ! I know too many women to count who not only got pg but had relatively low to zero complications pg in their early to mid 40's.
My sis just announced she is pg with #3. She is 46 . I am shocked and a little terrified. Her older kids are 6 and 3. Anyone here have a baby at that age? I really am so stunned.
DH's mom was 46 when she had him....surprise baby 10 years after last sibling was born.
Post by JayhawkGirl on Feb 24, 2015 18:15:43 GMT -5
I'm glad you came here to overreact instead of sharing your shock and dismay with her. Her OB and team will take good care of her and hopefully you will too.
I had DS1 at 38 (IF issues for several years, after almost 12 years of marriage). If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again, good chance thay I'll be 40+ when I have DC2+.
46 doesn't seem "old" To me now that I'm 38 . I wish things had turned out differently for us. ..but it didn't.
Be shocked at me then. I will be 40 when this baby arrives, and my other children will be 15 and 12.
And my cousin, age 45, just had a beautiful baby boy.
I hope that you will be supportive of her. I don't know you, but this does come off as a little insensitive to those of us who are having children in our 40s.
This thread makes me feel good. I often feel like an old mom in my circle since I had my first at 31, not by choice (IF), and I'll be thrilled with another healthy pregnancy no matter how old I am. I'll likely be at least 33, maybe 34, before we try for baby #2.
Post by sporklemotion on Feb 24, 2015 21:08:51 GMT -5
I'm not sure what there is to be terrified about. You don't say how far along she is, but odds are, she and the baby will be fine. Overall, I think that people have a false perception of how risky pregnancy is for older women. Yes, there are elevated risks of complications and chromosomal issues, but the vast majority of babies are born healthy. And as the pregnancy progresses, the issues can be monitored and interventions can occur. People think that all babies born to older women will have major issues, but that isn't the case. For example, I was told (at 41, and then again at 43) that, once we got past the first few weeks without incident, I had roughly a 3% chance of chromosomal issues with DD. this is higher than for a younger woman, but it still means that 97% of babies do not have these issues. While there is a higher risk of complications later in pregnancy (I'm at 27 weeks now), the risk is not greater than 50%, and the complications are not unique to older women, And because of my age, I am monitored more frequently so that (hopefully), should a complication arise, the doctor can intervene. I have no basis for comparison, as I didn't have a baby when I was younger, but my first pregnancy and recovery were complication-free, and so far, my second one has been as well. Keeping my fingers crossed that it stays that way, but I would do that regardless of my age.
Post by barefootcontessa on Feb 24, 2015 21:40:18 GMT -5
Babies born to women over the age of 40 actually have fewer heart issues than younger women. New study. Biggest issue is chromosomal issues, most prevalent being Down Syndrome. But even at age 45, if you are able to carry to term, there is a 95% chance that the baby will NOT have DS. I am 43 and could very well end up with another baby. We aren't trying but not preventing either. The best thing about being in your 40s, for me at least, is you care less and less what people think. So maybe your sister would not be all that offended. Still, I do think you need to check your salty attitude about her age at the door.