Pregnant in mid-40s?!

[mrsg123]

My sis just announced she is pg with #3. She is 46 . I am shocked and a little terrified. Her older kids are 6 and 3. Anyone here have a baby at that age? I really am so stunned.

[Deleted]

I can't think of a nice way to say this, but if I did have a child at that age I would not really want to post about it in response to this post. It sounds like a roll call for people asking to be judged.

I hope your sister has a happy and healthy pregnancy. I'm sure she is grateful that she is able to have the family she envisioned despite getting a late start on childbearing. I am fortunate that I met my husband and married him young, so I had a lot of flexibility in deciding when to start my family, but I don't think there is anything wrong with the very personal choice to have a baby in your mid-40s, especially if you are aware of and accepting of the risks (and I think it is hard not to be, especially with two other AMA kids).

[DarcyLongfellow]

The idea of someone being pregnant in their 40's doesn't even light up my radar as something to question or be surprised at. I know so many people who had babies in their 40's. I know the risks are higher, but you can't always control when you're ready to start a family.

[mlt]

Yikes to the OP. Lots of the women in my firm have had kids in their mid 40s. What is stunning about it?

[rugbywife]

Meh, 46 isn't in a category that I feel is out of the realm of possibility. That being said, when people say that they can't imagine having babies after 30, I can see how 46 could seem like it is really old. But not my place to judge.

[underwaterrhymes]

I'm 40 and am pregnant with our second. And if we have a third, which we've discussed, I would be in my mid-40s.

I'm super healthy and still have a ton of energy and am a great mom to our 2-year old toddler. I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be just as capable 6 years from now.

[pooh8402]

Op says that like it's a bad thing?

[meij]

My cousin had her first at 48. Everything went well, she had a healthy pregnancy and birth. She was in really great shape and was a runner so I'm sure that helped.

She was able to retire when he was a couple years old lol.

I've known quite a few people who had kids around 43. I know there are a lot of people who had their kids in their early 20s and can't see themselves having babies past 30, but some of us didn't get started until later so babies at 40 doesn't seem weird.

I wish your sister an easy and healthy pregnancy! She was pregnant just three years ago at 43, and once at 40, so I imagine she knows what she's getting into lol.

[cilantro]

I'm surprised people are being as easy on this post as they are.

I am also going to venture to guess that you either don't live near a major metropolitan area or associate with many ambitious women.

Sometimes having a second kid by 34 makes me feel like a kid playing at parenting in my social circle in the NYC area.

[Deleted]

Eh...if that's what she wants who cares? I'm sure she's weighed all her option, discussed it with her dr. etc.

She's not overly old or anything..lol...I don't see the big deal.

My SIL married H's brother at 37. Had her first at 40. Her second at 43. She's not entirely sure she's done yet. It doesn't strike me as weird. She's here and normal as can be (Ok. she's completely BSC. But it has nothing to do with babies..haha).

They also live in a ritzy high end development with 4634643 other people their age in the exact same situation. So it's not uncommon at all.

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2015 16:35:07 GMT -5 cilantro said:

I'm surprised people are being as easy on this post as they are.

I am also going to venture to guess that you either don't live near a major metropolitan area or associate with many ambitious women.

Sometimes having a second kid by 34 makes me feel like a kid playing at parenting in my social circle in the NYC area.

I was going to say I often feel young having had 3 kids between the ages of 30 and 32. In my field, social circles, and general area I often feel like a baby. Having children in your 40's just doesn't even register as unusual for me at all.

[cjeanette]

Her having kids and 40 and 43 went just fine apparently so I don't get why you have an issue this time around.

[leonard131]

I don't mean this in a snarky or mean way but exactly why are you  "shocked and a little terrified".  Did she have rough pregnancies previously, is she sick, or are there other personal factors at play like a bad marriage?


Lots and Lots of women over the age of 40 have very healthy children and pregnancies.  In fact I feel like l know way more "older" moms who seem to have much easier pregnancies and deal with child birth and child raising much easier then younger moms.  Myself included. 

[anna7602]

I'm not sure what the actual question is. This just reads like "zomg! Can you believe this?"

[bronxgirl]

Congratulations to your sister!! that's great news. And a major WTF to you. I hope you're getting your bitchiness out of the way here and won't act like this around her.

[anna7602]

Also, if I ever have another, I would definitely be over 40 since I am absolutely not ready to have another baby within the next 10 months before my 40th birthday.

I don't even have the excuse of meeting or marrying DH later. We've been together since I was 20.

[SJ]

Is she shocked and terrified? Has she asked you for advice?

This post is both confusing and offensive.

[mrsg123]

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:07 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Congratulations to your sister!! that's great news. And a major WTF to you. I hope you're getting your bitchiness out of the way here and won't act like this around her.

Huh. Harsh much?

[mrsg123]

Feb 24, 2015 16:48:07 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

I'm not sure what the actual question is. This just reads like "zomg! Can you believe this?"

It may be. I literally just found out.

[bronxgirl]

Feb 24, 2015 16:51:51 GMT -5 mrsg123 said:

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:07 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Congratulations to your sister!! that's great news. And a major WTF to you. I hope you're getting your bitchiness out of the way here and won't act like this around her.

Huh. Harsh much?

Me? Nope. You are, though.  Did you read your original post? That was pretty shitty. 

[mrsg123]

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:47 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Also, if I ever have another, I would definitely be over 40 since I am absolutely not ready to have another baby within the next 10 months before my 40th birthday.

I don't even have the excuse of meeting or marrying DH later. We've been together since I was 20.

I feel like 40 and 42 is much different than 46. I don't care what others do but am worried her.

[countthestars]

Feb 24, 2015 16:51:51 GMT -5 mrsg123 said:

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:07 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Congratulations to your sister!! that's great news. And a major WTF to you. I hope you're getting your bitchiness out of the way here and won't act like this around her.

Huh. Harsh much?

not really.

[drloretta]

Feb 24, 2015 16:53:30 GMT -5 mrsg123 said:

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:47 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Also, if I ever have another, I would definitely be over 40 since I am absolutely not ready to have another baby within the next 10 months before my 40th birthday.

I don't even have the excuse of meeting or marrying DH later. We've been together since I was 20.

I feel like 40 and 42 is much different than 46. I don't care what others do but am worried her.

Why are you worried? Do you have a reason to be worried? She was AMA for her other 2, another few years isn't really going to make much difference IMO. I'm still trying to figure out why you're so terrified/worried. Were you this way when she was pg at 40 and 42?

And how is 40/42 so different from 46? I'm 46. I don't feel terribly decrepit compared to 40 or 42. We're actually in a better place in a lot of ways.

ETA: If I were to get pg today, I would be terrified, but it would have nothing to do with my age. All 3 of my pregnancies ended in early m/c, almost a decade ago. So I'd be worried to be going down that path again. But a healthy pregnancy? I'd be psyched!

[zarapipe]

Feb 24, 2015 16:51:51 GMT -5 mrsg123 said:

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:07 GMT -5 bronxgirl said:

Congratulations to your sister!! that's great news. And a major WTF to you. I hope you're getting your bitchiness out of the way here and won't act like this around her.

Huh. Harsh much?

I think you are reading this wrong. Your op sounds harsh. There are many women here, bronxgirl included who would be over the moon thrilled, best day ever, dreams coming true to get pg at any age, even 46.

[thebreakfastclub]

As someone who had a fantastic pregnancy on her way to 37, I have to chuckle sometimes at the "OMG CANNOT BE PREGNANT AT 35 AMA OH DEAR LORD NOOOOOOOOOOO" vibe that floats around here from time to time.

[luv2rn4fun]

I have a friend who had her one and only DD at 52. She had IF for years and was able to conceive using adopted embryos. She had a very easy and uneventful pregnancy and her DD is absolutely precious! Like zarapipe said...some people aren't so lucky in the TTC journey and would welcome a child at any age.

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2015 17:02:54 GMT -5 thebreakfastclub said:

As someone who had a fantastic pregnancy on her way to 37, I have to chuckle sometimes at the "OMG CANNOT BE PREGNANT AT 35 AMA OH DEAR LORD NOOOOOOOOOOO" vibe that floats around here from time to time.

LOL. Me too. I'll fess up to being more tired with a crappy sleeper than I prob would have been in my early 20s, but I have way more money and stability now.

[halfpint]

The only thing terrifying about having kids at a slightly older age is the term "geriatric pregnancy". They need to stop with that shit and just stick with AMA.

OP, check yourself. Lots of women have children in their 40s. I hope the only commentary that comes out of your mouth when you're with her is supportive and kind.

[lindyanne]

My neighbor did and seems really happy. Her other kids are way older which helps/hurts a little in different ways though.

[Deleted]

Feb 24, 2015 16:53:30 GMT -5 mrsg123 said:

Feb 24, 2015 16:50:47 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

Also, if I ever have another, I would definitely be over 40 since I am absolutely not ready to have another baby within the next 10 months before my 40th birthday.

I don't even have the excuse of meeting or marrying DH later. We've been together since I was 20.

I feel like 40 and 42 is much different than 46. I don't care what others do but am worried her.

What are you worried about? Does she have health problems?