I mean, if George Strait calls you sweetie, you just thank your lucky stars you're talking to George Strait. But some random dude? Yeah, I'd be offended.
GTG people might have noticed that I used hun/hon. Like when squeezing past someone in the crowded room 'excuse me hon'. I don't know where I picked it up and I don't use it at work.
The situation you described- yes, it would annoy me. But this is very much an "it depends" thing, for many of the reasons already listed.
But- I will say that AT WORK, it would probably piss me off no matter what!
There were times at work when I experienced this that didn't bother me. All of the offices I worked in were informal and usually family owned where people were good friends, so I've never minded when it wasn't said with condescension or inappropriate sexual innuendo. I worked with several women who used "dear", "honey, "doll", "sweetie", etc. and I've never minded. Maybe it's a generational thing as well because they were all older than me and weren't bitchy to me ever. Men have also called me by those names but because we were peers/friends and one guy was my boss but the husband of a BFF and it was all an inside joke, it wasn't something I took offense to because we all did it with each other. Not all of the time, but I never felt like I was being talked down to in those instances. Other coworkers or bosses calling me those names would have pissed me off, but because we didn't have that kind of camaraderie.
i can see this. Just the places I've worked - this wouldn't be cool.
I don't mind at all. It's all in the tone down here in the south.
Besides, I'm so used to people messing up my name or calling me Mrs. Married (never changed my name but people don't seem to realize this). Or calling me by my nickname or my full name. I think I tune out 99% of what people say to me when they are addressing me. It's just not something that bothers me.
For me personally, it's never acceptable from a stranger. Unless, like a PP said, it's coming from a little old lady at the grocery store asking you to reach something for her. Other than that, no. Never.
I work with another RN who calls all of her patients sweetheart, sweet cheeks, babydoll, and any other syrupy condescending word you can think of. It literally makes me rage.
I generally don't mind being called those things. I do hate being called "dear" but that's just because I don't like the way it sounds. I've been called all those things and I prefer "darlin'" with a Texas drawl.
Post by lyssbobiss, Command, B613 on Mar 2, 2015 16:51:43 GMT -5
I've recently been wondering how old I have to be before people stop calling me sweetheart who don't even know me. It's a little annoying. It bothers me from basically anyone if I don't know the person well.
"This prick is asking for someone here to bring him to task Somebody give me some dirt on this vacuous mass so we can at last unmask him I'll pull the trigger on it, someone load the gun and cock it While we were all watching, he got Washington in his pocket."
I picked SS because as a whole, I don't really mind. I live in mid-GA, so the use of terms of endearment on strangers is pretty common. If I'm in the checkout and the cashier tells me, "Have a good one, sweetheart," I probably wouldn't care. But it really depends on how it's said. Some random guy calling me sweetheart to get in my pants? Keep walking, asshole. The cashier at Target who uses it in a friendly way on everyone, doesn't bother me a bit.
I probably don't mind as much because it was a habit I developed living and working here. I'm prone to calling everyone sweetheart or hun. The clerk tells me to have a nice day, I often reply with a "Thank you, sweetheart," or "You too, hun." I don't mean anything by it.
For me personally, it's never acceptable from a stranger. Unless, like a PP said, it's coming from a little old lady at the grocery store asking you to reach something for her. Other than that, no. Never.
I work with another RN who calls all of her patients sweetheart, sweet cheeks, babydoll, and any other syrupy condescending word you can think of. It literally makes me rage.
Why? Honestly when my mom was in the hospital, I liked to see that little bit of humanity in the people caring for her. Some of what they had to do was stuff that my mother would have felt ashamed (not the right word but I can't think of the right one right now) by if she could speak for herself -- cleaning up her shit and washing her personal areas and for them to say, "OK sweetie, I have to clean you up now, OK?" somehow took the sting out of it for me.
I just feel like humanity isn't necessarily something than needs to be expressed with condescending words such as sweet cheeks, sweetheart, etc. It seriously makes me cringe when I hear those terms directed at patients. I can be just as compassionate, caring and empathetic without that type of verbiage. Maybe it's a regional thing, I don't know.
Why? Honestly when my mom was in the hospital, I liked to see that little bit of humanity in the people caring for her. Some of what they had to do was stuff that my mother would have felt ashamed (not the right word but I can't think of the right one right now) by if she could speak for herself -- cleaning up her shit and washing her personal areas and for them to say, "OK sweetie, I have to clean you up now, OK?" somehow took the sting out of it for me.
I just feel like humanity isn't necessarily something than needs to be expressed with condescending words such as sweet cheeks, sweetheart, etc. It seriously makes me cringe when I hear those terms directed at patients. I can be just as compassionate, caring and empathetic without that type of verbiage. Maybe it's a regional thing, I don't know.
Eh, to each their own. When I was having DD my L&D nurse was the sweetie/honey type, it was fine with me but again I'm southern so those terms are not uncommon.
Post by youhadmycuriosity on Mar 2, 2015 19:09:16 GMT -5
It really doesn't bother me at all, although I never call anyone a term of endearment unless they are a close friend, as I know that many people do not like it. FWIW, I do not think that in the story in question, it was appropriate at all, just that it wouldn't personally anger me.
I just feel like humanity isn't necessarily something than needs to be expressed with condescending words such as sweet cheeks, sweetheart, etc. It seriously makes me cringe when I hear those terms directed at patients. I can be just as compassionate, caring and empathetic without that type of verbiage. Maybe it's a regional thing, I don't know.
Condescension? Wow. Thankfully everyone doesn't feel as you do. There was nothing condescending about the people who cared for my mom. Nothing. When we moved her to hospice some of those "sweetie" "sweetheart" nurses came down to visit, cried with and hugged us, because after 6 weeks of seeing us day in and day out, they were sad too. I appreciated every little bit of that.
Yes, I honestly do find those words condescending. Maybe I'm projecting because of my own dislike of being called that by someone other than my family? Maybe I believe in the adage that actions speak louder than words? I don't really know. But what I do know, is that by me not using those words, or cringing when coworkers do, does not make me any less of a compassionate and caring nurse. I've held hands with, hugged, and cried with and for many of my patients. I've attended funeral services for a few who were long term/chronic patients.
I'm sincerely sorry for what you went through with your mom Sou. I'm glad that you and she were able to take comfort in both the verbal and physical support.
When I first got together with my now husband, I guess I overused "honey". I got addicted without realizing it. I would catch, and try to stop myself, from using it on my sisters, co-workers, etc. It just slipped out!
Thank God I broke myself of it.
Not a big fan of being called sweetheart or honey, but it's not a big deal to me either. I find I most notice it and get annoyed with it when it's a much younger store clerk/drive through worker. It kind of feels like they are talking down to someone they think is elderly, instead of respecting their customer.