And, um, I can't work hard and do good work and meet deadlines because I'm not a mom? I would say more but I can't. So I'll just post this and move on.
That is how I felt reading this, as a CF woman. I think her ideas about flexibility are well stated - but they are applicable to EVERYONE, not just mothers.
Yes! This was my thought, exactly. I'm a champion of flexible work at my company. I think it's great for many reasons: if it's done en masse, it can help with traffic loads, it's environmentally friendly, it can lower overhead, it lowers commuting costs (and potentially housing costs), and of course, it's beneficial for employees' personal pursuits and responsibilities. And probably other reasons I'm neglecting to mention at the moment because it's late. Savvy managers know that the concept of facetime is outdated.
Why does this conversation have to be centered around motherhood? Flexible work is good for everyone.
She was pretty ridiculous. I've been a manager 7 years and a mom 2 weeks. I don't see my morherhood changing my management much except I will probably be more a morning person.
I schedule 5pm meetings with my coworkers who work late and come in early when I need to catch the early birds. Most moms I've hired have been great employees even when they are adding to their families. Everyone needs medical leave--at least mat leave is scheduled.
It very much is, which is why I strongly believe that legislation needs to take place to reduce/eliminate the pay gap, provide reasonable maternity leave for mothers, etc. Most companies aren't going to do these things until they have to. Things won't change just because it is the right thing to do; I think history has shown us that.
I kind of don't want paid maternity leave to be mandatory if it isn't paid parental leave. Career stigma against mothers isn't going anywhere if we don't let/make men share the burden, starting from the get-go.
Honestly, I want both parents to be required to take 6 paid weeks off. Because that will ever happen.
On the other hand, maternity leave and paternity leave are never going to be identical in every way because the purposes are different. Paternity leave is about providing care for a newborn, bonding, etc. . Maternity leave is that but it is also a very necessary medical leave. You'll never have a world - and nor would you want to - where fathers take 100% of the leave instead of the mother because women generally are physically incapable (or at least it's extremely medically inadvisable) of returning to work hours after giving birth. So for the actual post-birth leave part of it, I'm okay with it being more generous for women because women physically and medically need more.
But once the recovery is over, there's no reason that this is, needs to be, or should be a "mom" issue.
ETA: the expectation in our culture that women should be able to give birth and then return to their normal lives after 48 hours is another soapbox issue of mine.
It very much is, which is why I strongly believe that legislation needs to take place to reduce/eliminate the pay gap, provide reasonable maternity leave for mothers, etc. Most companies aren't going to do these things until they have to. Things won't change just because it is the right thing to do; I think history has shown us that.
I kind of don't want paid maternity leave to be mandatory if it isn't paid parental leave. Career stigma against mothers isn't going anywhere if we don't let/make men share the burden, starting from the get-go.
Honestly, I want both parents to be required to take 6 paid weeks off. Because that will ever happen.
Eh. Women need the paltry 6 weeks off to recover from a major medical event. Unless you think that any spouse of someone who has a medical event should be forced to take time off in order for the patient spouse to also take time off? "Husband with coronary bypass surgery can't take 6 weeks off to recover unless wife does the same." That's an absurd scenario. 6 weeks off isn't maternity leave. It's disability.
This woman sounds insufferable, before kids and after them. And yay she can just up and leave her profession to start a new job about creating flexible jobs for other moms. How nice. Maybe if she hadn't been such an asshole to the other moms there would be no need for her new venture project.
She was insufferable in her interview with Savannah this morning. I only watched the first 45 seconds but that's all I could handle anyway.
As someone with no kids, the whole "if you want something done, ask a mom to do it!" and "Moms are most reliable," pisses me off. Being dependable and reliable and able to complete a request are not traits limited to moms.
I can't believe it took her having a kid to realize that scheduling last minute meetings for late in the day would cause problems for people, regardless of parental status.
Seriously.
News flash: it wasn't just the moms who hated you for scheduling 4:30 pm meetings.
It's not like we childless folk have any reason to want to go home at night. We definitely don't want to spend time with our spouses, engage in our hobbies, or just pour a drink, put up our feet, and relax.
News flash: it wasn't just the moms who hated you for scheduling 4:30 pm meetings.
It's not like we childless folk have any reason to want to go home at night. We definitely don't want to spend time with our spouses, engage in our hobbies, or just pour a drink, put up our feet, and relax.
As someone with no kids, the whole "if you want something done, ask a mom to do it!" and "Moms are most reliable," pisses me off. Being dependable and reliable and able to complete a request are not traits limited to moms.
I get that this is coming from a place of defensiveness, and from years of being told "mothers are incompetent at work" and "mothers are unreliable because their first priority is their children and they'll abandon all work responsibilities at the drop of a hat." But come on, take a step back and think about how this looks to everyone else. It looks terrible and what's more, it just isn't true. Not all moms are reliable, just like not all *people* are reliable.
It's not like we childless folk have any reason to want to go home at night. We definitely don't want to spend time with our spouses, engage in our hobbies, or just pour a drink, put up our feet, and relax.
selfish!!!!!!
You don't know my lyfe!!
Seriously though, the notion that childless people's personal time isn't valuable is something that irks me to no end.
As someone with no kids, the whole "if you want something done, ask a mom to do it!" and "Moms are most reliable," pisses me off. Being dependable and reliable and able to complete a request are not traits limited to moms.
I get that this is coming from a place of defensiveness, and from years of being told "mothers are incompetent at work" and "mothers are unreliable because their first priority is their children and they'll abandon all work responsibilities at the drop of a hat." But come on, take a step back and think about how this looks to everyone else. It looks terrible and what's more, it just isn't true. Not all moms are reliable, just like not all *people* are reliable.
It's just so polarizing and gets the conversation nowhere. I'm sure she was all "Yay! I've seen the light! Come see my kumbaya moment and realize that I'm RIGHT!" Instead, she comes off sounding insufferable.
This is another one of these all or nothing/black and white articles that I can't stand. The world is grey. Why is that so hard for people to understand?
Bullshit on most dads doing more around the house because mom does more for the kids during the work day.
No I mean that a lot of couples have switched roles so that dad does more than mom around the house because mom is the breadwinner. I just think we have to stop making this a women's issue and make it a parents' issue. Or employees in general. A lot of people need flexibility in the office. As long as you get your work done in a timely manner I don't see why "face time" matters so much. Because of the changes in technology, I think that is so outdated nowadays.
Yes, I know what you said and I don't believe it. Unless your definition of a lot is a few people here and there, mostly ones you've never met and no one else has either.
Plus, I don't think it should take mom being the breadwinner for it to change anyway. It shouldn't matter what the income split is. And honestly, I don't even care who works more, has the more challenging or flexible job. In theory, the parent who has the most flexible job should take the time away when necessary but in practice it usually leads to mom taking a more flexible job and losing out on career opportunities because mom is usually looking out for works best for family while it's not usually dad's first thought.
As to the latter, of course I agree with that. It's my whole point. Corporate culture has to change and part of that is changing society and household culture.
Yes! This was my thought, exactly. I'm a champion of flexible work at my company. I think it's great for many reasons: if it's done en masse, it can help with traffic loads, it's environmentally friendly, it can lower overhead, it lowers commuting costs (and potentially housing costs), and of course, it's beneficial for employees' personal pursuits and responsibilities. And probably other reasons I'm neglecting to mention at the moment because it's late. Savvy managers know that the concept of facetime is outdated.
Why does this conversation have to be centered around motherhood? Flexible work is good for everyone.
ITA. This is why I don't mind newbs coming into the workforce demanding flexibility and shaking things up from the old way of doing things - showing up/hours spent counting as something, pointless meetings, dress codes, rigid schedules, and so on.
Not every job can be so flexible, but many desk jockey type of positions are and both employers and employees should take advantage of the efficiencies of working smarter.
I have a friend who posted this article on FB. I need to ask her, but I wonder if she did it because of her big boss(to send a message). I used to work there. The head of HR is a woman who has 3 kids (high school and older now). She's the exact opposite of this woman in the article - she's rigid about work schedules, doesn't like people WFH, etc.
She's actually been under fire a bit lately because other managers are like - at least in HR - they can't get GOOD employees (or at least those who will stay) because of how inflexible their department is. To stay so old school about it, AND I know that her attitude is "Well - I did it with 3 kids, so can you". But - the times are changing and she's not keeping up.
They actually have a job opening that my friend wants me to apply for, but she knows I won't because of this exact issue! And I could make at least $12k more if not $22k!!
I do think that there are some things that will not change in the workplace and in culture in general until we do get men to be more active parents and more active partners. We are getting there I think but as long as moms are usually the ones who pick up sick children from school, take kids to their well child visits, handle school enrollment, parent teacher conferences, etc, the stigma will be slow to lift.
You know, I've been very impressed with DH's agency with all this gender/parent stuff. They are very accommodating when DH needs time off for family - whether it's "important" (like an illness) or not (like he promised to watch the kids while I go to yoga). That attitude is common for all employees. In fact, the three best in the division are DH (obviously - lol), a mother of 2 yr old twins, and a mother of two who works PT to be at home after school. Of course, the PT mom is passed over for opportunities that require more hours, but that seems to be her choice. I know they've tried to get her back full time for years. The other mom and DH are both great, but they have very different strengths. They both have an equal shot at promotions, and in fact, she probably has the edge because the Feds are actively trying to cultivate women.
I kind of don't want paid maternity leave to be mandatory if it isn't paid parental leave. Career stigma against mothers isn't going anywhere if we don't let/make men share the burden, starting from the get-go.
Honestly, I want both parents to be required to take 6 paid weeks off. Because that will ever happen.
Eh. Women need the paltry 6 weeks off to recover from a major medical event. Unless you think that any spouse of someone who has a medical event should be forced to take time off in order for the patient spouse to also take time off? "Husband with coronary bypass surgery can't take 6 weeks off to recover unless wife does the same." That's an absurd scenario. 6 weeks off isn't maternity leave. It's disability.
I'm saying if the choice to have children has to be a career set back, it should be an equal set back for everyone who decides to be a working parent, male or female.
One good thing about my division having lots of leadership changes in the past 2 years is the discussion on work schedules is always open.
My old boss and her boss were pretty reticent. So WFH for my team was really limited. New leadership has been way more open though and me and my exempt staff can do 2 days which is nice. We've had some retention issues for a variety of reasons (mostly it's an employee's market now) and it's one thing we can do for free to keep employees. Our competitors are rarely so flexible.
I've always tried to be really flexible about staff leaving for appointments and such. I just ask they tell me when they are going (leaving at 2 tomorrow for ex ), so I can let clients know if they call/cover urgent stuff. It works well and I don't mind helping with that stuff. It seems to be one thing staff consistently rate me highly on.