I'm struggling big time in the evenings. This is day 5 and last night after dd was in bed asleep I had a huge break down. It's like I'm distracted in the day. The pain is there, the tears want to come (and quite often do), but not the hysterical unstructured thinking and panic that my heart is in. I cried, no sobbed, for over 2 hrs straight last night. Called my mom in the middle of it and thank God for her. She was such a comfort. I woke up again at 3 in the morning for an hr to nurse my sick girl (coughing fits from asthma) and then the morning came and I wanted it to go away. My body hurt, my eyes were puffy and my 3 yr old girl was a miserable mess of coughing fits. I've been sore all day and now am just stopping. I just really feel the need to get this out to people who have been there, and are there and to just be heard, ya know?
Post by WinterIsComing on Mar 4, 2015 1:07:58 GMT -5
I'm sorry excited30. Right now I know that it feels like the pain won't ever go away but I promise it does get better.
I literally spent the first week curled up in a ball at my parents house crying. It was rough. But with each passing week it got a little better. I'm about 10 months out now and I am in a really good place and happy. You'll get there too, it will just take time.
Post by onedayatatime on Mar 4, 2015 9:06:24 GMT -5
I'm so sorry! It is really hard at the beginning and the feelings seem so out of control. They come and go suddenly.
I was in a state of shock for the first month and barely registered anything and xh was still living at home. There were several times when on the drive home from work I had to pull into a parking lot and cry for half an hour in my car.
Therapy, talking about it with a trusted friend (esp someone who went through something similar) and time are the only things that really helped. In the meantime- take care of yourself (eat and rest) as much as you can.
Those first days are just awful, it's true. I lost about 20 lbs in the first few weeks post-separation because I couldn't eat anything other than Ensure. Xanax and ambien helped me function, to be honest. Once I wrapped my head around what was happening and made peace with it, I felt much better. Hugs, it's hard riding out all those feelings, but you will get to the other side.
It might get worse before it gets better but it WILL get better. So much better! Things that helped me were either keeping busy into the evenings or going to bed really early so I could escape from everything via the form of sleep.
I agree. I had months of pure hell. Crying every night. Not sleeping. Weight loss. Acne. Ugh. Time and therapy make it better, but just know you will have to go through really hard times before it gets better and it's not quick. At least it wasn't for me.
I'm so sorry. ((Hugs)) I remember feeling so numb while my son was awake and then just breaking down when he was finally asleep at night. It can be so so hard. Hang in there and post here as often as you need. We are here for you and you'll get through it. Time will make some of this so much easier. ((hugs))
I'm so sorry you are going through this. The first few months were really hard for me. I barely kept it together but like the others said, it gets better. Hang in there and vent often.
I'm so sorry. I cried every night for months and months after I put my daughter to bed. But it does get better even if right now it seems like it won't. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and leaning on your friends and family for support and you WILL get through this. Huge hugs
Thanks so much ladies. I feel a lot of comfort in reading your words. I also appreciate the utter honesty about just how hard it is. I see a counselor once a week, and am also looking into a divorcecare group in town. I really do feel numb during the day. Well, somewhat numb, as the sadness is under the surface and I just know that I'm not alright.. I'm not myself and I don't feel like doing anything...don't feel like taking care of necessities and responsibilities or even going for a walk. It's only been a few days though, and I'm sure it will get better with time.