WDYD: 2+ kids (1 gets plans)

[cna]

Yes. DS1 went to a birthday party last Saturday and DS2 went to hang out with grandpa. It's funny because the birthday girl's mom who I had never met before asked me why I didn't bring DS2.

[Rainyday]

Sometimes we do and sometimes not. Mine are 3.5 and 5.5, they are old enough to understand that we don't all get invited to everything. I certainly don't want to get into a tit for tat kind of situation with my kids and always have them expect something in return.
But I also won't stay home just to make a point either. We also have a 1yo to consider so if it works out then yes we will do something.
I've been in this position before re: birthdays and I just sent the one bc it is good for them to have their own time.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Mar 4, 2015 11:33:19 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Mar 4, 2015 11:27:37 GMT -5 @kimbus22 said:

Well my kids are a lot younger so our situations are a bit different, but we do try to do that. Like yesterday M had an appointment. So DH took Joey out for a special breakfast. We'll probably contine that type of thing any time it's convenient but I woulnd't feel guilt over not always making sure the time is equal, if that makes sense?

No, it's not that. I guess I feel guilty because I know Luke would love to go with the big boys and he is so well behaved. I just feel torn on this particular instance because he was "technically" invited. Just outside the b-day package?   

I would probably do as you do and keep him home. I think its good for siblings to have separate time. I would make a fun day out of solo time with one kid.

[expectantsteelerfan]

No...part of life is accepting that not everything is fair and you don't get everything your sibling does, and this is going to happen A LOT...we already have it happening a lot and my kids are 3 and 5. So yeah, if one has a birthday party for a classmate to go to, the other usually just hangs with the parent that isn't going.
For us, we had a rough patch when ds started to get invited to our next door neighbor's house to play. Dd is used to playing with ds constantly, so it took her a while to get that ds is old enough to go play next door, but she isn't, and she wasn't invited (she'd say, well, why don't you and I go together?). So yeah, at first I'd say, well, why don't you and I play x, y, or z, things I knew she loved that I don't often volunteer to play with her, while ds was gone. But it happens so much now that she's used to it now.

[jensriot]

I agree that siblings should get to do things without each other. I love activities that everyone can do, but it's nice to have individual things too. When one kid gets invited but not the others, one of us will do something fun with the remaining kids. Sometimes it's a picnic in the backyard or a trip to the park. It doesn't need to be a big deal, but something fun. Sometimes it's just a movie they wanted to watch on tv.

[scorpio72]

Mar 4, 2015 13:35:16 GMT -5 expectantsteelerfan said:

No...part of life is accepting that not everything is fair and you don't get everything your sibling does, and this is going to happen A LOT...

This.  As they get older it will happen a lot.  We don't take the kids that weren't invited to do anything special any more.  We did when they were little, but not anymore.  My kids are a bit older (12, 10 and 5) and it doesn't bother them.  Well, the 5 year old does get a little bothered sometimes and we may make an exception here or there, but for the most part we don't do anything special for the non invited kids.