We have three 7-year old girls sleeping over next week. I have to admit, at least one mom is really freaking out about it. To the point that I told her it was fine if her daughter didn't come. I don't care either way but she is stressing me out.
what kind of freakout? like, "you need to know that precious likes her dinner like this, and make sure she flosses and wears her warm socks, her feet get cold! and she has a special pillow, and she needs some light, but too much light, and make sure she has a nutritious breakfast and OMG DON'T BREAK MY BABY!!"
like that? or like, weird leading questions about your sexual predilections and who else will be in the house?
I cannot roll my eyes enough at this guy. Know the family where you are sending your kids and you will be fine. We were doing sleepovers starting in the first grade. Calm your tits, dobson.
Sadly, yes. The guidance counselor at a dodds school in Japan used it as a primary tool.
I'm confused, he wants dads to shower naked with their sons? And thinks them showering together will prevent them from being gay?
Though, in Japan I know they do family bathing, but isn't that just a cultural thing? I didn't think it had anything to do with them thinking it would prevent homosexuals.
Its THIS attitude (that child molesters are EVERYWHERE) that is part of the reason why people are SO protective of their kids, but I don't think it's any more prevalent than it was 20, 30, 40 years ago. Granted, I haven't done any research into this, but I don't know that James Dobson has done much research either to the opposite...
I think that parents today might be more likely to take their children seriously if they told them they had been inappropriately touched in any way. I'm not sure that was true for my parents' generation. I know a woman in her 60s who was molested and when she told her parents, they told her to pretend it had never happened, because it would be too much of an embarrassment for the family to go after the guy.
1. From his book on discipline: "When a youngster tries this kind of stiff-necked rebellion, you had better take it out of him, and pain is a marvelous purifier. ...It is not necessary to beat the child into submission; a little bit of pain goes a long way for a young child. However, the spanking should be of sufficient magnitude to cause the child to cry genuinely."
2. From his book on strong-willed children: "Some strong-willed children absolutely demand to be spanked, and their wishes should be granted."
3. From his website on spanking: "I recommend a neutral object of some type.... The reason I suggest a switch or paddle is because the hand should be seen as an object of love--to hold, hug, pat, and caress. However, if you're used to suddenly disciplining with the hand, your child may not know when she's about to be swatted and can develop a pattern of flinching when you make an unexpected move. This is not a problem if you take the time to use a neutral object."
4. from the book on discipline: "Real crying usually lasts two minutes or less, but may continue for five. After that point, the child is merely complaining... I would require him to stop the protest crying, usually by offering him a little more of whatever caused the original tears."
Oh, really? That's interesting, James Dobson, because my mom had a "neutral object" that she used to hit us (a cutting board that was called "the paddle") and I am still terrified of her. In fact, I'm terrified of being in trouble with anyone ever. I'm not terrified of doing anything wrong, I'm terrified of being caught. Even if I haven't done anything wrong, being accused of doing something, or having someone even start to yell at me will cause me to break out into sobs, so you can take your neutral object and shove it up your ass, you fucking prick.
ETA: And I would really like to emphasize that again. Hitting your kids doesn't make then afraid of doing anything wrong, it makes them afraid of being caught. Your child will develop a habit of hiding EVERYTHING from you. I have no relationship with my mom whatsoever. I will see her on family holidays and birthdays, and I will be cordial with her, but I would never call her because I was upset and wanted advice. As far as I'm concerned, the less she knows about my life, the better.
Sadly, yes. The guidance counselor at a dodds school in Japan used it as a primary tool.
So then should moms shower naked with their daughters so that they don't become gay? Or does he only have a problem with gay men, whereas lesbians are fine, because he just knows they still want men, and if they just let him watch, eventually they'll invite him to join? WTF is wrong with this guy?!
We have three 7-year old girls sleeping over next week. I have to admit, at least one mom is really freaking out about it. To the point that I told her it was fine if her daughter didn't come. I don't care either way but she is stressing me out.
We had a mom get allllllllllll freaked out about her kid going to summer camp for a week. I side eyed her hard. At some point, you're just being fucking weird. Stop it.
And this is stupid shit. Kids can be molested anywhere. If that's your rationale, I suggest you not let them go anywhere, including church. No soccer practice, no school, no scouts, no family reunions, no grandpa's house, no drives to the corner store with your uncle. In fact, you probably shouldn't let your kid hang out with their own father or siblings since if a child is going to be molested, they are far more likely to be victims of their own family members than some random down the street.
But randoms down the street are pretty creepy too so you might want to put bars on your child's bedroom windows too while you're at it. And don't take them on vacation. Kids get snatched out of hotel rooms too.
Just stay home and make your kids live in the closet.
argh. it's not more prevalent at all now, people are just more likely to talk about it and we're more likely to hear about it. Yes I allow sleepovers, but I make sure I know the parents' stance on certain things and who will be in the house and stuff like that.
I recently took a "parenting safe children" class about sexual predators and it was really eye opening. 98% of sexual abuse is done by someone the kid knows. It's made me very aware that having a conversation with other parents about it is just as important as having the convo about guns.