S/O Tom boys

[jag01]

KC mentioned that she is a tom boy, and it got me thinking. What is your definition of a tom boy? Do you consider yourself a tom boy? 

[dizzycooks]

I would have growing up, but I gave that definition of myself up somewhere near the end of college. I figure it's someone who's more into sports and activate stuff than boys and makeup. (Loose definition). I still love being active, but I definitely like being a "girl". I can't see defining self as tomboy as a grown woman.

[gennyu]

When I think of a tomboy I think of a school-aged girl who likes to play with the boys and avoids all girly clothes/accessories/behaviors. A lot of the time it seems to be a phase that the girl grows out of around high school.

I don't usually think of a grown woman as a tomboy. I may notice she has stereotypically masculine interests or a masculine style but I still wouldn't call her a tomboy.

[jag01]

I guess it's the label or the stereotypes that I don't care for. I like how runningfish worded it.

[mamaalysson]

Mar 8, 2015 11:26:03 GMT -5 @kimbus22 said:

I'm really hoping we're moving toward a society where this isn't even thought about. Both my kids love trucks and tea parties. I don't think of her as masculine or him as feminine. I just think they're kids.

I'm not girly or tomboyish. I never wear make up but I drink wine. I hate sports but I don't like crafts either. I do most of the cleaning but I also handle all the money. I feel like I'm pretty evenly split in my interests/responsibilities when it comes to male/female typical traditions.

Preach.  My daughter adores ballet and princess and won't wear it unless it twirls or is pink.  She also love superheroes and science experiments and rock and roll.  And even just typing that out made me uncomfortable, because why should those be classed is separate categories?  They are just parts of who she is.  She loves PLAYING - little girls, little boys, grown-ups, by herself....she's just a kid with lots and lots of interests and a strong desire to love life.  DS LOVES cars, balls, and babies.  He clacks around in his sister's dress-up heels and loves slinging a purse over his shoulder and waving "bye bye".  I hope like hell that they just feel free and comfortable to be who they are and do what they love forever.

ETA:  Oops, the question was about me not my kid.  It makes me feel just as icky to categorize it, but I probably fall into more "female" stereotypes - I sew/needlepoint/knit and do most of the domestic stuff around here.  I know shit about cars (but have the number of a great mechanic).  Sports don't do a ton for me, but I can get into a big game or one that we are attending.  I struggled in math and sciences but thrived creatively.  But I can wield an electric drill like a mofo, and I love nothing more than being covered in dirt and sweat from a day working in the yard.  But all of that is just who I am.  Parts will always stay the same (I will never understand calculus), but others will evolve and change as they need to.

End word vomit.  Apparently this got me worked up on a sleepy Sunday.

[cna]

Eh, I'm a girl who likes to look nice every once in a while. I also like sports and I'm not afraid to get dirty or break a nail, but I'm still just a girl.

[NandaB]

I also see it more as a label used for school aged girls. Girls that have mostly boy friends, play mostly "boy" stuff, don't like to wear dresses...i had a step cousin like this. She came in to the]family when she was 10. She was very athletic and played lots of sports, but beyond this she only ever wore big baggy boy shorts and boy shirts. Her hair was always in a ponytail braided. We joked it was her uniform. When it was cold she wore boy jeans. Around 13 or 14 she started wearing clothes from the girl section, but is still, in her 20s very athletic

Its not a term I will be using, because why label a young kid?

ETA: I wouldn't use it to describe any adult, I'm not super feminine. I like to be pit together, but I don't wear make up on a regular basis, and I consider my daily style pretty casual (but not masculine) I like to crochet, go camping, get dressed up, watch baseball, shop, snowboard.....

[cabbagecabbage]

Growing up, I thought of a tomboy as someone whose interests and gender reflected more masculine attributes. A girl who likes sports wasn't a tomboy. A tomboy looked masculine and rejected standards of femininity. I was very outdoorsy and active but also liked ribbons and girly clothes and having my hair long. I never felt like a tomboy, even a little.

I hope that gender fluidity and acceptance makes the term outdated as my kid grows up.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

I don't think tomboy is a negative term. I always grew up having stereotypically male interests. I was into sports and wrestling, hated dolls. I dressed up as batman for Halloween and hated dresses. I preferred rough play over playing dress up or dolls with girls. Aa an adult I dislike shopping and like sports. It took me 31 years to pluck my eyebrows and wear makeup.

I think we should move towards not defining dolls as girl play and trucks as boy play...but theres no denying that there are gender differences as a whole when observing children at play. I do consider a kid who has more interest in the kinds of play (not just an isolated activity of two) of the opposite gender a tomboy but I don't consider that somehow undesirable.

[CrazyLucky]

I was definitely a tomboy growing up and didn't mind being called it. I played sports, and at the time, it was often me and maybe one other girl on a team of boys. Starting in fourth grade, I refused to wear dresses. And now, my mom is SO HAPPY that DD is a NORMAL little girl who likes dolls so my mom can buy DD dolls! All through school, most of my friends were boys. My best friends from college are men. But most of my friends now are women. And I wear dresses sometimes.
Even if DD wasn't a girlygirl, I would not refer to her as a tomboy. I am hopeful that she likes some things that are traditionally thought to be boy things, but I work hard with both kids to make sure I don't believe there are boy things or girl things.

[cabbagecabbage]

My comment may have sounded like I think tomboy is negative. I don't. I just think the term is a bit outdated. I do think some older generations used it negatively when I was young and some grandmother's seemed to care.