I'm being ridiculous, right?

[glitzy07]

With all of my work stuff going on for the past few weeks, I've been working longer hours in the evening and seeing less and less of C at night.  I am the one who gets him up and dressed and out the door in the morning to daycare, but it's maybe 30 minutes total before I drop him off.  I've been averaging 45 minutes or less with him before bedtime at night, if I'm lucky.  Then this weekend my mom watched him all day Saturday so that SS and I could go to a hockey game just the two of us.  

When I drop C off at daycare, he's so excited to take off his coat and go sit on the couch and snuggle with his "Deb-BIE!" that he couldn't care less about saying goodbye to me.  Last night he was asleep before I got home because I had an appointment.  Tonight I have a late meeting and he'll likely be out before I'm home again, depending on traffic.  Tomorrow is my last night home before I'm gone on vacation for 3 nights/4 days without him (he'll be asleep before I get home on Sunday too).  

I just need some reassurance that my kid is going to remember who I am and that he loves me, and not just H and his daycare lady, since he spends so much more time with them.  Is this a phase?  Should I just be happy that he's no longer having major separation anxiety?  Because I'm feeling all the feels and it's making me  .  

[ECB]

He will remember you and he loves you. TRUST ME. It's always a good, good thing when children have other people in their lives who they really like and are excited to see. Really- it's a GOOD thing.

And trust me too- he will probably save his tantrums and break downs for you. That's how he'll show you how much he loves you. You're his safe person.

[Deleted]

He's definitely going to remember you, but I feel you. I have told this story before but when DS1 was about 18 months old I was dropping him off at DC lady one day, I said "DS1, I love you" and his response was "Ok. I love Nana Pam" (the DC lady).

But really, I'm glad he trusted and loved her, it made my life a lot easier. But two years later, he has no recollection of her (which does make me a little sad) and he doesn't seem to remember my busy seasons at work.

I hate the times when life gets so busy, but it will pass.

[sproutmd]

I'm sorry you're feeling down! He will be just fine. He loves you, and will never forget you. Enjoy your vacation! Seems to me that he has wonderful care providers. Great job!

[cincodemayo]

Aww. I bet he will be SO EXCITED to see you when you are back from your trip. He definitely will remember you and knows that you love him.

[cjeanette]

It's quality and not quantity. You will be fine.

[bearbaby]

I struggled with this for the first 18 mos of DS' life because my hours were long and my commute insane. I often didn't see him more than a few mins (if at all) in the mornings, and would race into the house as bath time started at night (unless I was held up - which was not infrequent).

I struggled feeling like he wasn't attached to me, or I had terrible guilt on the rare occasions I would take time for myself.

I've since switched jobs so I'm home a LOT more, but I did come to realize that I was fortunate that my son had an involved father and caring/loving daycare providers. He was happy and well cared for, and continues to be. I'm also his Mommy and even when I'm not around I know now that no one can take that away from me.

A child benefits from a village of loving, supportive caregivers AND from a happy and healthy Mom - and sometimes that means that Mom (or Dad) is away for other non-work related events and that's ok.

[gretchenwieners]

I have a crazy commute 3-4x/week and have the same issue, barely seeing DS in the morning and then only getting a short time with him at night and I worried about the same thing. Everyone has assured me that he won't forget me and that he knows exactly who is momma is by the way I hold him, love on him, look at him and smell to him. That made me feel a little better and so far he seems to know who I am. :-)

[carolinagirl831]

He knows who you are! And be so grateful he likes going to daycare... I have been having alot of bad mornings dropping a screaming DD off, leaving while she screams mommy mommy! is really hard

[glitzy07]

Mar 10, 2015 9:38:19 GMT -5 carolinagirl831 said:

He knows who you are! And be so grateful he likes going to daycare... I have been having alot of bad mornings dropping a screaming DD off, leaving while she screams mommy mommy! is really hard

This is definitely true.  We've had the bad mornings where he cries and stands at the door hitting it over and over and I hate it so much when he does that.  I'm much happier that he's happy to be there.  Hugs to you!

I'm just having dumb mom guilt.  

[Deleted]

It's okay to acknowledge that not seeing your son for long stretches like this is hard on you! It's okay! He'll be fine, but it still hurts your heart. I get it. It bugs me too. I've neen known to go in and cuddle dd when she's sleeping just to feel like I've been wth her that day.

He'll be fine. It's okay.

[thefield]

Yep! It's natural to have these feelings, but please don't let them put a damper on your well-deserved vacation.

[Deleted]

Awww.it is hard. Kids don't forget and he loves you to pieces I promise.

And if you want to feel better...my kids get plenty of time with me but they both my DCP more than me soemdays. It's not a bad thing at all.