Your presence is present enough

[felicity]

If someone requests this on the invite, do most people at least bring a card or something, or does everyone just show up empty handed? They requested donations in lieu of gifts. It's for a one year old birthday party. 

ETA: They are having it at a rec center. Not sure if that changes anything.

[anna7602]

I usually ask the host if there's a food item I can bring, or I bring a bottle of wine for the parents.

[kategm]

This was on the invites for the sip in see my MIL hosted for us at her home. 99% of people brought presents. For a

For a 1 yr old's party not at their home, if bring nothing if that was requested. If you want to make a donation, I'd bring a card stating the donation was made.

ETA: I'd respect their wishes. If other people bring gifts, I don't think you should feel bad or whatever. That's on them, not you.

[ECB]

I usually bring a card. For kids slightly older, I'll put in a pack of stickers in the card.

[thefield]

I respect the host's request.

I think a card is lovely. There's no need for anything else (other than perhaps a donation in the card).

[redheadk]

If someone has requested No Gifts then I show up emptyhanded. I take them at their word.

[sjh722]

Mar 10, 2015 11:40:27 GMT -5 ECB said:

I usually bring a card. For kids slightly older, I'll put in a pack of stickers in the card.

I've done this too. Or for little kids, I'll put in as many $1 bills as their age. 

[mcfelix]

I always bring a small gift - usually a book or two. I've been to birthday parties where people put this on the invitation, and then actually open presents at the party, which I find to be in incredibly poor taste.

[felicity]

Mar 10, 2015 12:00:30 GMT -5 mcfelix said:

I always bring a small gift - usually a book or two. I've been to birthday parties where people put this on the invitation, and then actually open presents at the party, which I find to be in incredibly poor taste.

Ugh that's awful.

[karinothing]

WE do this. People listen and don't bring gifts. I greatly appreciate that people can follow directions

[pinkpinot]

Mar 10, 2015 12:00:30 GMT -5 mcfelix said:

I always bring a small gift - usually a book or two. I've been to birthday parties where people put this on the invitation, and then actually open presents at the party, which I find to be in incredibly poor taste.

This happened to me last year. This same person just invited us to another birthday party and the invite requests no gifts again and I don't know what to do. I NO LONGER TRUST THEM!

[zarapipe]

This happened this past weekend. We were literally the ONLY people who obeyed and didn't bring a gift. Then they opened the gifts and DD asked why we didn't bring a gift for the little boy. We had talked earlier that we wouldn't be bringing a gift because he had enough at home. She was really confused and I felt cheap.

They should have at least opened them at home or something I think if they asked for no gifts.

[mpc]

The last birthday party we went to that said this, we were one of only 2 people who didn't bring a gift. I can't care about it too much. If we get another invite that says 'no gifts', I will continue to not send a gift.

ETA: at least the birthday boy didn't open them at the party. That's really weird zarapipe. I would've felt uncomfortable then.

[autumnfire]

A card and normally we'll try to make a donation to a charity we think they'd appreciate getting the help.

[jenn248]

We usually bring a card and maybe a book. We had a no gifts party for DD and the handful of people that did bring gifts mostly brought books. We did not open them at the party

[aspentosh]

Mar 10, 2015 13:28:34 GMT -5 deej said:

I've never been to a party where no gifts were requested.

#greedyfriends

LOL, same here.

On the most recent invitation from H's best friend- "R could use 2T, 3T, or 4T clothes, Disney Jr or Frozen toys". lol.

These same people are also having a shower for their second kid, who is pretty much exactly two years younger than their first, same sex, same season, etc two weeks after the birthday party. They are totally in BEC territory for me, though.

[Saudade]

DH's family is like this. They request "no gifts" to be polite? idk. Everyone brings a gift. We didn't one time and it was incredibly awkward because they do the opening there too. So now I know to always bring a gift.

For DS1's first birthday we did "no gifts" and truly meant it. DH's whole family brought them anyway. ugh.

[redpenmama]

Mar 10, 2015 12:00:30 GMT -5 mcfelix said:

I always bring a small gift - usually a book or two. I've been to birthday parties where people put this on the invitation, and then actually open presents at the party, which I find to be in incredibly poor taste.

Same thing happens here. Most people put "No gifts please." The majority still bring gifts. I haven't seen anyone actually open them at the party, but it always makes those who followed the host's requests feel awkward.

So, no gifts please is basically ignored in my social circle. I am all for following the host's wishes.

[Brie]

I usually bring a book related to the kid's interest or the party theme and write a little something in the front cover to commemorate the occasion.

I don't like being told what to do.

[teatimefor2]

I follow instructions. We recently went to a second birthday party and it was 'no gifts'. No one brought a gift.

[jloww]

Mar 10, 2015 13:00:34 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

This happened this past weekend. We were literally the ONLY people who obeyed and didn't bring a gift. Then they opened the gifts and DD asked why we didn't bring a gift for the little boy. We had talked earlier that we wouldn't be bringing a gift because he had enough at home. She was really confused and I felt cheap.

They should have at least opened them at home or something I think if they asked for no gifts.

That's so awkward. They definitely could have handled that better.

I show up empty handed and don't even feel bad when there are gifts, but I have never been in Zarapipe's position. That would definitely make me rethink things.