I feel all the rage.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2986483/Mother-reveals-gave-adopted-toddler.html

[usm]

I can't form a coherent thought because there are so many things wrong with this situation. I feel rage and hurt.

Special needs are fucking hard but it's amazing the things you can do when you don't have a choice.

[penguingrrl]

I don't understand the anger with her. Medical personnel agreed that this child needed long-term round the clock care in a medical facility and that caring for him at home wasn't possible. It had reached the point that she wasn't sleeping because she had to watch him for seizures all the time. She didn't come to this decision lightly.

It's an incredibly heart breaking story.

[usm]

Mar 10, 2015 19:25:39 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I don't understand the anger with her. Medical personnel agreed that this child needed long-term round the clock care in a medical facility and that caring for him at home wasn't possible. It had reached the point that she wasn't sleeping because she had to watch him for seizures all the time. She didn't come to this decision lightly.

It's an incredibly heart breaking story.

My son could very well end up there. He's still mine and I would still be his mom and responsible for him. You don't give your kids away, even if they have to live in a more medical environment.

[penguingrrl]

Mar 10, 2015 19:27:53 GMT -5 usm said:

Mar 10, 2015 19:25:39 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

I don't understand the anger with her. Medical personnel agreed that this child needed long-term round the clock care in a medical facility and that caring for him at home wasn't possible. It had reached the point that she wasn't sleeping because she had to watch him for seizures all the time. She didn't come to this decision lightly.

It's an incredibly heart breaking story.

My son could very well end up there. He's still mine and I would still be his mom and responsible for him. You don't give your kids away, even if they have to live in a more medical environment.

Ah, okay. Given the timeline I'm curious if the adoption was finalized. If it wasn't there's a chance that putting him in the home meant losing rights to him. Given that this was in the UK I don't know how things work there, but I'm curious if there's a legal angle to this that is different there.

You're right that you would remain his mother if your son ended up in long term care and that just abandoning him would be horrific. I'm curious if there's a lot more to this particular story, though.

[usm]

Mar 10, 2015 19:34:32 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Mar 10, 2015 19:27:53 GMT -5 usm said:

My son could very well end up there. He's still mine and I would still be his mom and responsible for him. You don't give your kids away, even if they have to live in a more medical environment.

Ah, okay. Given the timeline I'm curious if the adoption was finalized. If it wasn't there's a chance that putting him in the home meant losing rights to him. Given that this was in the UK I don't know how things work there, but I'm curious if there's a legal angle to this that is different there.

You're right that you would remain his mother if your son ended up in long term care and that just abandoning him would be horrific. I'm curious if there's a lot more to this particular story, though.

It was weirdly written and I' sure left out a lot of info. I have to remind myself it's the UK and laws and resources are different. My initial rage stemmed from what I hear so often of "I could never do what you do" and "I don't know how you do it". You do it because it's your kid and there is no choice. It sounded like she made a choice to give up because he wasn't her kid. This may not be accurate at all.

[rosesandpetals]

I'm glad the kid is getting the help he needs but I thought the UK had socialized healthcare? Shouldn't the medical environment he's in be free whether he was adopted or not?

[penguingrrl]

Mar 10, 2015 19:41:51 GMT -5 usm said:

Mar 10, 2015 19:34:32 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Ah, okay. Given the timeline I'm curious if the adoption was finalized. If it wasn't there's a chance that putting him in the home meant losing rights to him. Given that this was in the UK I don't know how things work there, but I'm curious if there's a legal angle to this that is different there.

You're right that you would remain his mother if your son ended up in long term care and that just abandoning him would be horrific. I'm curious if there's a lot more to this particular story, though.

It was weirdly written and I' sure left out a lot of info. I have to remind myself it's the UK and laws and resources are different. My initial rage stemmed from what I hear so often of "I could never do what you do" and "I don't know how you do it". You do it because it's your kid and there is no choice. It sounded like she made a choice to give up because he wasn't her kid. This may not be accurate at all.

That makes a lot of sense. The article was very weirdly written. If she chose to give this child up due to his disabilities she's an asshole, no question. But I'm not positive that's what happened here.

I can easily see how it struck a chord with you given your son's health and I would be angry at that thought too. I can't imagine how rude people can be to you for caring for your son. That's awful.

[penguingrrl]

Mar 10, 2015 19:44:52 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

I'm glad the kid is getting the help he needs but I thought the UK had socialized healthcare? Shouldn't the medical environment he's in be free whether he was adopted or not?

That's why I'm wondering if it's related to whether the adoption was finalized and if that played a role.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Mar 10, 2015 19:44:52 GMT -5 rosesandpetals said:

I'm glad the kid is getting the help he needs but I thought the UK had socialized healthcare? Shouldn't the medical environment he's in be free whether he was adopted or not?

A quick google search tells me that's true.

I know someone who is a single mom and has a child disabled to that degree. She has round the clock nursing care Which is 100% covered via Medicaid. The woman wanted a perfectly healthy baby by her admittance and when she didn't get her way she gave him up. Even if he needed to be institutionalized there's no excuse to not be his parent and be there. It sucks she will be allowed to adopt again and the fact that she's starting an organization to support people who gave up on kids is gross.