I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much

[beantrees]

Today, my boss and two coworkers were talking about pregnancy. My boss said "I can't stand when woman say things like, they had a perfect figure before they had children, or blame their shape on their children.  I mean, just exercise."

I said "Well, it doesn't matter how much I exercise, my stomach is not going to look the same as before pregnancy."

I don't know why but this is really bothering me. I guess I just feel like crap because I have about 15-20 pounds to lose and it's really hard. Plus, nothing aside from plastic surgery will fix my stomach. Ugh.

Sorry, just venting.  

[Deleted]

Well...it is true. Having a baby changes your body. I'm sorry it's bothering you and in sorry your boss is dumb. What an ignorant thing to say.

[lattelady5]

They obviously don't have kids...who says that?!?

Even though I'm close to my prebaby weight (and have been under it in between pregnancies) my body is not the same. My hips are wider and my stomach is softer.

Just don't think about it. If they ever do have kids I'm sure they'll look back on their ignorant comments in shame.

[Deleted]

I guess maybe some people can exercise it back??? But this belly that measured 52 weeks...will never ever be as flat as it once was. It just won't. I'm ok with that. And i can look at my mom who has worked for 30 years to maintain her body and her belly still pokes out some and is rounder for having had two kids. Hormones relaxing things, babies moving things...it's not just a matter of gaining weight then losing it.

[beantrees]

My boss is actually pretty great.

He has too small kids. Sadly, his wife passed away from in Jan. But I don't think she gained very much weight with her pregnancies and she was very small to begin with. I think it was just a mindless thing to say, and he didn't mean anything by it.

I try to be positive, and most of the time I am. I have made peace with it for the most part.

Lol, I just wished things evened out! Like some women get no stretch marks and I got DOZENS. Why can't we all just get a few? haha!

[momin2013]

Yeah, I think this might be the case of a guy who might just not know better. His wife may have been one of those women who exercised a lot after delivering and it worked wonders for her. He probably figures if she did it, why wouldn't it work for all women?

It's definitely not fair how different women's bodies are affected by pregnancy, but it is what it is. The thing is, we all (child-bearing women) know that's the case, so when we hear someone talking out their ass like that, it's basically just eyeroll worthy and we move on.

ETA: spelling is hard before coffee.

[quesyrah]

That's a really insensitive thing to say.

The more fit you are before pregnancy, the easier it is to lose the baby weight IMO. I think most people find that their hips are wider, maybe bely is a little softer etc to matter how in shape they were before or how hard they work after.

I mean, look at that model
Whose photo has gone viral. She's probably going to be able to look like that again after baby. I have a few friends who are super fit and we're able to pretty quickly get their pre baby bodies back. And I know plenty of people who are nowhere near their pre baby body (raises hand).

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Well it's Thursday so what the heck-he kind of has a point. I hear people with four year olds blaming their weight gain on "baby weight". For the first year sure. When you have a four year old and you're thirty pounds heavier still it's not your kid anymore.

Of course it goes without saying that your body is permanently altered by having children with hips wider, more belly fat. I think for most losing the pounds is an attainable goal (minus the SSS who was very thin pre kids who now carries an extra 5-10lbs no matter what).

[beantrees]

Mar 12, 2015 8:43:08 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Well it's Thursday so what the heck-he kind of has a point. I hear people with four year olds blaming their weight gain on "baby weight". For the first year sure. When you have a four year old and you're thirty pounds heavier still it's not your kid anymore.

Of course it goes without saying that your body is permanently altered by having children with hips wider, more belly fat. I think for most losing the pounds is an attainable goal (minus the SSS who was very thin pre kids who now carries an extra 5-10lbs no matter what).

Yea, but he wasn't talking about weight. He specifically said "figure/shape."

I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight pretty easily. But my body looks nothing like it did before. 

I have about 15-20 pounds to lose. I will theoretically look better if I lose them. But my boobs will look much sadder. I am trying to focus on the idea of getting more fit instead of doing it for looks. 

In this situation I'm not talking about weight gain. I mean, pregnancy can permanently separate your ab muscles. 

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Mar 12, 2015 8:59:36 GMT -5 beantrees said:

Mar 12, 2015 8:43:08 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Well it's Thursday so what the heck-he kind of has a point. I hear people with four year olds blaming their weight gain on "baby weight". For the first year sure. When you have a four year old and you're thirty pounds heavier still it's not your kid anymore.

Of course it goes without saying that your body is permanently altered by having children with hips wider, more belly fat. I think for most losing the pounds is an attainable goal (minus the SSS who was very thin pre kids who now carries an extra 5-10lbs no matter what).

Yea, but he wasn't talking about weight. He specifically said "figure/shape."

I got back down to my pre-pregnancy weight pretty easily. But my body looks nothing like it did before. 

I have about 15-20 pounds to lose. I will theoretically look better if I lose them. But my boobs will look much sadder. I am trying to focus on the idea of getting more fit instead of doing it for looks. 

In this situation I'm not talking about weight gain. I mean, pregnancy can permanently separate your ab muscles. 

True but a lot of time when people talk about their figure the appearance of it has to do with weight.

[vlagrl]

ugh, your boss has no idea. I did work my ass off after I had DD and I'm 10 lbs below pre pregnancy weight, but my pooch is here to stay. LOL. I'm ok with that. I didn't get stretch marks on my belly but it is still a bit squishy.

[gennyu]

Yeah, that would bother me too. Especially coming from a man, who never even has a shot at being proven wrong.

Like with all things physical, there is a genetic component and there is a lifestyle component. Some women have both going in their favor, like his wife. Some have just one in their favor, and some have neither.

Women's bodies and the things they can do are amazing. His comments are both petty and judgmental.

[ashb62]

I'm sorry your boss is an asshole.