MOOKs: Activities q

[rootbeerfloat]

My sanity can only handle so much. Luckily, DS also does not like to do too many activities.

If DS1 really wanted to try baseball, I would suggest dropping tennis (or karate) temporarily, but since he's ambivalent, I would just let it go.

[Deleted]

I let them choose 100%. Why force them into something? Seems like a waste of time. My 8 year old does piano and that's it right now. In the past she's done dance, gymnastics, swim and tennis.

My 5 year old was in dance and decided it wasn't for her so she's not in anything right now.

My 3 year old is too young so he doesn't do anything either.

We have a one activity at a time rule. I will let them do another activity if it happens to be at the same time and
Place as a siblings activity. I don't want my life to be driving my kids places. They need to just be kids first and foremost.

[DarcyLongfellow]

My kid is the opposite of yours -- she needs time at home to decompress. She gets stressed out when we have stuff after school. Even a playdate at our house takes away from her time to play alone with her toys.

So, at the most I'd do two activities a week. For a while she did ballet and gymnastics, but we dropped gymnastics when she started kindergarten. She's been asking to start it again, and we might do it over the summer.

If I had a kid with your son's personality, I'd be tempted to just sign him up for baseball, tell him he's signed up and won't it be awesome! If you think he'd really like it if he knew what it was. My DD1 refuses to try soccer -- I've tried to get her interested, and she wants nothing to do with it. I even offered to take her to watch a friend's soccer practice, but she didn't even want to do that.

[Deleted]

We are still navigating these waters but I don't think I want to do more than two activities, at least in early elementary, and I am waiting for DD1 to express real interest in something before signing her up. Right now she just does swimming lessons and I think we may give dance a shot soon since she's been asking.

I quit piano in high school after 8 years of playing due to parental pressure and feeling totally painted into a corner about it, so I am swinging to the opposite end of the pendulum that my parents did with regard to activities. They sort of pushed me into anything I showed even a remote interest in whereas I am hanging back and waiting for my kids to really ask to do stuff.

I am back into the piano now after an 18 year hiatus and I LOVE it. It's like a limb I forgot I had that I am finally using again. It is so nice to do it on my own terms instead of being cajoled and guilted into practicing daily. That's a big part of my reasoning for wanting my kids' activities to be self-motivated.

[InBetweenDays]

We generally let them choose 2 sports activities plus piano. Well, they also have a Circus Sports and Sewing class one day a week after school, but it's at school and doesn't involve us shuttling them so it's more like after school care and allows us to work longer.

DD does soccer and lacrosse in the spring. She was interested in track but we told her she'd need to give up one of the other two sports since they're both 2x/week. DS right now does t-ball (2x) and lacrosse (1x). I'm going to encourage him to switch to spring soccer next year rather than moving up to baseball. Mostly because baseball is 3x per week and soccer is 2x If he really wanted to stick with t-ball I'd be okay with it, but he's much better at soccer so I think he'll gladly switch.

On the one day they don't have something we're usually still out in the yard kicking the ball around after dinner.

[anna7602]

We have a very unscientific system of DD choosing and then us actually signing up for them based on reasonable times/available transportation, etc.

Currently, our teenaged neighbor is taking her to her one weeknight activity (piano/voice classes), she dropped out of another weeknight activity (ballet) much to my relief, and DH takes her to one class (gymnastics) on Saturdays. Every other Sunday she has Girl Scouts.

She wants to pick up horseback riding, but since that would require driving and a significant time commitment, we're sticking to that as a summer camp activity. At some point, if she's still really interested, she'll have to drop one of her other weekend activities in order to free up time/resources for horseback riding.

[jeaniebueller]

If he is ambivalent, I wouldn't bother. We only do one activity at a time, tops. BUT I work outside of the home, so he does aftercare and we don't get home until at least 5pm M-F. He is going to start swimming lessons in two weeks, and we'll stick with swimming all summer until August and he'll do soccer, then basketball for a month after soccer. We do a haitus during the winter.

[lurknomore]

Right now we have 2 activities/kid (the older two anyway) and swimming lessons are non-negotiable (so really just one). We tried a couple of different things when DD1 was younger and she seems to have settled on tennis. DD2 isn't old enough for anything but gymnastics. I already told her she could do soccer or tennis in the fall if she wanted. I think that squeezing in one more for a short period of time to help him try something new, if your schedule and sanity, allow, is fine. But from then out, he needs to pick. You liked baseball? Well karate or whatever has to go. I think its important to remember that as they get older and better, like you're already seeing with DS1, that there is more time involved anyway. So its not like it will get any better down the road. I do think it is important to help them find what they like and what they can be successful at. That said, if he does enjoy what he's in now, I'm not sure I'd rock the boat. DD1 HATED soccer. Hated. And had no interest in dance (after we went and bought all the stuff for it!) so it took a few tried to find what she enjoyed.

[dr.girlfriend]

This is a question I've been thinking about. It's hard for us because we both commute from the city, so he's in daycare from 8 to 5:30. By the time we get home and do dinner, a little playtime, bath, and reading, it's time for bed at 8. So far we've just been doing gymnastics on Saturday mornings. I like the idea of "one sport and one art" -- so like music lessons and gymnastics, but he hasn't shown much interest in music so far. I want to add swimming at some point to the point where he's a functional swimmer, but otherwise I think we might do soccer and gymnastics and not much else.   My friend was complaining that her daughter wants to do EVERYTHING -- ballet, gymastics, art, etc., etc.  DS is the opposite...he has usually resisted doing anything, and just recently decided he liked gymnastics.  He is definitely our kid -- DH and I are both couch potatoes, but that's what we're trying to avoid with him.

[Deleted]

Mar 13, 2015 13:29:21 GMT -5 @lcap said:

Mar 13, 2015 13:17:58 GMT -5 page said:

We are still navigating these waters but I don't think I want to do more than two activities, at least in early elementary, and I am waiting for DD1 to express real interest in something before signing her up. Right now she just does swimming lessons and I think we may give dance a shot soon since she's been asking.

I quit piano in high school after 8 years of playing due to parental pressure and feeling totally painted into a corner about it, so I am swinging to the opposite end of the pendulum that my parents did with regard to activities. They sort of pushed me into anything I showed even a remote interest in whereas I am hanging back and waiting for my kids to really ask to do stuff.

I am back into the piano now after an 18 year hiatus and I LOVE it. It's like a limb I forgot I had that I am finally using again. It is so nice to do it on my own terms instead of being cajoled and guilted into practicing daily. That's a big part of my reasoning for wanting my kids' activities to be self-motivated.

Ugh, yeah we struggle with the practice issue. The problem is, DS really enjoys the lessons. He doesn't want to give them up. But his teacher wants him to practice 10-15 min every day and he doesn't always want to. So we warn him that if he doesn't want to practice we will stop paying for the lessons and he gets upset but the thing is, he needs to practice, you know? Ten min a day isn't a big deal.

The practice issue is so weird to me now that I have been on both sides of it. As a kid/teenager I HATED practicing piano. I think it was partly that I had a fixed mindset and did not really see the benefit of practice and partly that I felt I could be spending my time doing other things. Now, as an adult, I get frustrated because I feel like I don't have enough time to practice. I wake up an hour before my kids to have the time to do it which is HUGE for me. It is funny that 30 minutes when I was 15 felt like such a long time, and now as an adult it feels like barely enough.

If it were me I think I would just let him know that you're going to continue with lessons only if he practices. Maybe sit down with him and get him to name a time of day he thinks he would be willing to practice for 10-15 minutes and then give him a reminder at that time to do it but don't argue about it or force him if he says no. Then if over the course of a couple of weeks you notice he is choosing not to practice more days than he is choosing to practice, let him know you will be stopping lessons since you can't pay for them when he is not practicing. (And let him know in advance that this will be your policy.) I wouldn't use stopping lessons as a threat, just be neutral that it's not an investment you can make if he isn't putting in time on his end. Then it is totally his call.

But that's just what I think I would do--neither of mine plays an instrument yet so we'll see what happens when and if they do.

[Willis Jackson]

DS1 is in full day kindergarten and I really feel that the last thing he needs, at 6 years old, is more structure. I want him to spend his time after school running, climbing, building, drawing, painting, creating, etc. I want him to have the chance to let his mind wander, come up with ideas, and follow through with them. I'm just there to provide supervision and supplies.

That said, he and DD have swim lessons on Saturday mornings b/c I feel it's a necessary life skill. He was in chess club 1x a week during the fall semester but decided not to do it again in the spring.

[gibbinator]

I'm not at that stage yet, but that'd be an awful lot of scheduling and chauffeuring for you to deal with.

[cinco]

I let them pick their own activities, but we still have a big influence. If there is something we think they'd like we tend to build it up.

This Spring both kids wanted to do lacrosse, which is two practices a week, plus games on Saturdays. That would be plenty, but we've been doing T&F (Spring) & XC (Fall) the last few years, and we aren't ready to drop it completely. I have gotten to be friends with the coaches and want to help out on days I can. We also do Boy Scouts, library groups/Lego Club, and random classes. DD1 has Archery classes the next 3 Sundays. So yeah, it adds up. They are home by 2:30 every day though and I SAH/WAH so we still get downtime every day. I think you need to find the balance that works for your family. We had less going on in the Winter and we had too much together time. Lol. 2:30!

[bbonanza]

DD1 does fall and spring soccer, although she complains about it (and everything else, lol) when she gets there she has a blast, she also does dance that will end in Apirl and gymnastics, but that's usually once fall soccer ends.  We also signed her and DD2 up swim lessons, and DD2 also does dance and fall and spring soccer.  DD3, luckily, is only in Dance which is at her daycare center.  Sounds like a lot, but most of it is actually on the weekends and DH and I are able to split who brings them to stuff, and they really do seem to enjoy it.  Oh, and DD1 is involved in Daisy Scouts, but that meets the 1st and 3rd Wed. of the month. 

We asked about tball for the spring instead of soccer, but neither DD1 or DD2 had not interest. 

[Marmee]

Non-negotiables are music (instrument) lessons & swimming lessons.

I've strongly encouraged tennis

I've let them pick & choose everything else & I encourage trying different things when young. Cost, friends, schedule & preference all play in & later, ability/talent starts shaping the decisions.  If I listed my current schedule & activities they've done in the past, people would have a heart attack.  I consider it a perk of being a SAHM.  I am unscheduled from 8-3, I don't usually mind running around 3-8pm and on weekends.

[turtlegirl]

We are not quite there yet. But we will definitely limit each kid to one activity at first. Mainly due to money and time restraints with (soon to be 3 kids).

DS1 is in swim lessons once a week right now and will continue until the end of April. Then we might stop since we have a pool and by that time DH will probably want to be swimming with them after work/weekends at least 3 or 4 times a week.

[lizlemon19]

I think if he isn't really into baseball, I wouldn't push it. It can be boring, especially for a younger kid.

Can you add another day of something he does? Encourage him to practice at home on off days? go places like batting cages or other activities as a drop-in.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Given the time and financial constraints .. DD is in one activity - Girl Scouts 2 meetings/month

I'm sure she wants to do more but we don't get home until 6:30-7p sometimes .. most kids activities are over by then

[Deleted]

We do one thing per person (DH and I included) at a time. DS has tried soccer, swimming, and gymnastics. He asked for swimming next.

Swimming I see as a life skill. Soccer has no games yet, so it's just once a week. Gymnastics was okay, but it's way over priced at this age.

[imojoebunny]

Remember he is 6. He has time to try things later.

My son does ice skating alternating seasons and soccer the others. It is just one day a week for now. He also takes circus class. It's enough for him.

My 8 year old has three activities, circus, ice skating, and theater. That fits in nicely for her.

They both also ride horses, mostly in the summer, but through the year when we have time.

[Deleted]

When do your kids do homework? I feel like with dinner, homework and traffic - your night is pretty full. I guess it worked when I was a kid.

[barefootcontessa]

I strongly encourage in the direction where my child has talent. My oldest son (8) is quite good at baseball and enjoys it. Last fall he said he wanted to play soccer instead of baseball and we persuaded him to stick with baseball. Playing fall ball also means he stops asking about football, which we will not allow. My seven year old tried t-ball/baseball for a few seasons and showed minimal interest and ability so he is trying something new now (karate). We require piano starting in kindergarten because we think it is good for them. I may require swim team in the summer; have not decided. We also do Cub Scouts but that is a choice both make for themselves as well as an art class.

Our school has a no homework policy which frees up time.

[mrslisa]

I am limiting it to one to two activities each. I had hoped they would be interested in the same things and could go together but that stopped when they were about 3 years old.
DD1 does Girl Scouts on Wednesday and horse riding on Tuesday.
DS is going to start soccer and would like to do karate.
DD2 does Girl Scouts on Wednesday and dance on Thursday.

I would like all them to do 4H soon. There is so much cool stuff to do. I wish we had time for more. I am hoping they each really love something and stick with it. Right now we are still in the trying different things stage.

[pinkdutchtulips]

Mar 13, 2015 20:35:58 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

When do your kids do homework? I feel like with dinner, homework and traffic - your night is pretty full. I guess it worked when I was a kid.

This is why she has 1 activity so we can have a pass night on hw. She gets a hw packet every Friday due the following Friday'