Is this just standard separation anxiety?

[Pilsy]

I always expected separation anxiety to manifest itself at a daycare drop-off, but that's yet to happen, whereas she does whine and - lately - cry if I hand her to my husband or set her on the floor.  She's 10.5 months old and an adorable, stage 5 clinger.   

Was I just being naive in thinking it would mostly amount to crying as I left for work?  How long has this phase lasted for you?  Any tips?    

Wall of text with additional details: I of course love that she wants to be with me.  Aaaaaand it's exhausting.  Lately, I've her on my lap while I pee, wipe, flush.     I know I can set her down and let her scream, but there are times I don't have the energy for that.  Some of you might recall I posted about her screaming during my entire commute because we got a new car seat.  It occurred to me Friday, the issue is my carrying her to the car and then putting her down.   

My husband is perfectly happy for me to be with her constantly.  As foolish as it is, I'll be down when her parental preference shifts, but he's content, which means he never proactively helps; to his credit, he's often helpful with something else around the house while I'm doing something with her.  (And then he gets an enviable dose of alone time, too.)  Regardless, I sometimes need the mental break and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with doing a load of laundry or something else I can't do while carrying a 22-pound 10.5-month-old.  KWIM??  I had a chat with him this morning about how, while I appreciate his doing chores, I would like the opportunity to do more but that means he needs to step in and take our daughter from time to time.  

I know she'll tell me to leave her alone someday, so I should savor all of this.     I need to stay sane in order to do so.  What are your tips?  

[nessness]

No advice, just commiseration; my 5-month-old DD is similar. I've been trying to stay within sight sometimes while DH holds her so that she doesn't associate me handing her to DH with me leaving, but I'm not sure if it's helping.

[bananapancakes]

More commiseration from me too. We've been dealing with this for 4 or 5 months now although it is improving slightly. One thing that worked for us last week is my H took him for a walk in the stroller. Maybe the fact that he was distracted and couldn't actually see who was pushing him helped. All I know is I was alone in the house for the first time in 11 months and it was glorious! Perhaps your H could give that a try and you could get a break.

[browneyedgirl9]

DS is 14 months and we deal with this. He is fine at daycare drop off...but will cry at home When i leave a room, or hand him off to DH. If he doesnt see me he will happily play with daddy. But its all about mommy right now.

[sent]

Commiseration here too. She plays independently and takes stellar naps with grandma and daddy. But when I'm around, it's constant clinging, needing to be on the couch with me, in the same room as me, pick her up, refuse to nap etc. I do love it and it is cute, but she needs to take those naps to give me a little daytime break! (esp since she still isn't STTN yet)

She doesn't cry if she sees me leaving though and I leave her with my husband, so there's that. I plan to go to Chipotle or Panera this afternoon to get some stuff done because if she sees me writing with a pen, she will whine and whine for the pen.

Yesterday I shut the bathroom door just to close it and went into the living room to do stuff. DD didn't see me go into the living room and went up to the bathroom door and started crying. Even though I called to her from the living room, she didn't get it. She thought I was in the bathroom. I had to go over there and pick the little fool up and I found the whole thing funny.

[gibbinator]

I couldn't let ds1 watch me walk out of a room for almost 2yrs. He was fine leaving me and going elsewhere but his anxious little brain couldn't handle seeing me leaving. :/

Having dh actively distract and play with him helps. But my dh is the same as yours. He just leaves the kids with me and does chores,thinking that's helpful when I just want to shout that nobody cares if the damn floors are mopped, come play with the toddler so I can nurse the baby in peace of