I need a reality check re: my 6 week old

[Deleted]

P is just over 6 weeks now. Originally she went to bed with me around 10/10:30. Since 4-5 weeks we started putting her down before me, except she rarely actually will go down before 10:30 or so. I really want to start moving her bedtime up to 9, then 8 or so. Am I expecting too much to have a routine down this early? Should I give up for now and try again in a month or more? Right now at about 8:30 I put her in PJs, turn on white noise and feed her, then rock her until she falls asleep - then put her down and her eyes pop wide open and she starts to fuss within a few minutes. Last night she didn't conk out until after 11. 

Then of course she sleeps pretty solidly until 10 or 11 am (waking up to feed 2-4 times in the intervening hours, usually closer to 4 times). 

Be gentle with me, I'm also battling crazy insomnia so I'm extra sleep deprived and sensitive. Many thanks MMM!

[turtlegirl]

I would not expect an early bedtime until closer to 3 or 4 months. I would just roll with what her natural rhythm seems to be for now.

[countthestars]

It might work for her, but it might not. We were so set on having a night time routine that early and we ended up rocking and/or nursing a screaming infant from 8:30-11 almost every night because she just wasn't ready. I think we were closer to 4 months before "bedtime" really worked for us (sorry to discourage you!).

[jeaniebueller]

How long is she awake prior to falling asleep for the night? 6 weeks is early for trying to have a real routine. I think DD stayed "up" for the night until 10pm until more like 8-9 weeks. Also, don't stress so much about having a routine. I think my "routine" for DD at that age was to feed her in the dark with the TV on watching a show before bed...and that was for my sanity. I couldn't take spending so much time putting a baby to bed. I figured I might as well get some entertainment out of it.

[hermione]

My kid didn't have a consistent bedtime until closer to 12 weeks. Maybe even later.

[shelbyann]

My DD didn't have a consistent, early (8PM) bedtime until she was 4+ months.

Do you need her to be up earlier in the morning, like for daycare? If not, I'd probably just KOKO and try to enjoy having some free time in the morning while she sleeps in.

[dulcemariamar]

Don't make it anymore difficult for you then it has to be. If 10:30 works for your baby I would just do that instead of fighting LO to go down early.

[Deleted]

I'd back off since it's stressing you. No rush. No worries. Sometimes the more you push. The more they push back.
I'd wait a month or so and try again/see if he grows into it.

DD was great about bedtime routine she grew into at about 2 months.

DS came into his own at about 6 months and now just shook it up again at a year. He's much more sensitive about sleep and I got frustrated and tried to force it and it failed for us big time.

Hang in there. That age can be really hard.

[ryry]

I think you'll have better luck getting an earlier bedtime when she's a little older. Dd1 settled into an early bedtime when she started daycare at 3 months- before then, 9-10 pm was pretty normal. It also meant, however, that her day started much earlier-she's been a 6-6:30 am waker ever since.

Be gentle with yourself! If something isn't working, that's okay-don't drive yourself crazy about it. And sleep in with her!

[SJ]

DD went to bed "late" until about 12 weeks when she started daycare. Midnight was not uncommon.

I posted here freaking out about how would I ever be able to work if the baby went to bed at midnight. Everyone was right and she magically sorted it all out.

[kategm]

As a newborn we often didn't get DD to sleep until midnight. And trust me, we tried. She didn't start having an earlier than 10pm bedtime until she was around 6 or 7 months old. Around 8-10 months when she was really crawling around and getting more tired during the day she shifted closer to 8:30. Now at 14 months she's asleep by 8:30 every night.

[Deleted]

Thank you all so much, I feel better. She stats daycare in a month, so maybe we try again then. She will have to be up around 7 then.

[motzie]

DD2 started to move up her bedtime around 10 weeks by herself. She also got much easier to put down. I went from two to three hours of walking, rocking, nursing (and she was tired and on the edge of sleep the whole time) to a half hour bedtime routine now. I'd be patient and give her time. Also, giving her a bath each night helped out too.

[thebreakfastclub]

DS was very routine-oriented and a great sleeper. His bedtime moved from 10pm to 8pm once he started daycare, at 14 weeks.

If you woke her at 10am instead of letting her sleep to 11, maybe it would reset her back an hour. I can do stuff like that with DS, and he adapts well to it. I would think about working her towards a 7am wakeup over the next month.

[Poppy]

Mine is similar to PPs - magically started going to bed easily at 8 after we started DC at 3 months.

[ktw]

I agree, 6 weeks might be too young for an earlier bedtime. Being that in a month she'll have to start waking up earlier anyway, I'd probably just table it until then, roll with the schedule she's on now, and enjoy your last month of ML. I bet you'll find that the combination of her being a little bit older and having to wake up in the morning makes an earlier bedtime much more feasible at that point.

Someone on this board suggested the following in a post, and it has really stuck with me. When you're trying to make a transition, but you don't know if your baby is ready, try it one day. If it's hard and seems like she's not ready, go back to what you were doing before, and try it again on the same day the next month. This was in reference to a toddler, I think. In your case, since your baby is so young, I might try something, and if it doesn't work, try again the same day the next week, until you feel like she's ready for whatever transition you want her to make. That way you're not forcing something she's not ready for, and driving yourself crazy trying. Hopefully, I will remember this advice the next time I have a newborn .

[Deleted]

DS always had an early bedtime, some kids just are naturally skewed later. Can you start rocking her at 9:30 and move it up 15-20 minutes every few nights for a week? Hopefully by the end of the week you can get her down earlier.

[zarapipe]

yep- I'd just wait till DC starts- that's when mine fell into the 7pm bedtime routine.

[cherry1111]

I'll just ditto everyone else. I went to sleep at the same time DS did until he was 6 months. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten near enough sleep. I remember feeling like I would never have alone time in the evening ever again, but it did happen!

[rbp]

6w tends to be the height of newborn fussiness. So the good news is that things will probably start to get better really soon! The bad news, as you know, is that it's really hard right now. 

I don't even think we tried to get M on a routine until 10w. Then we were pretty reliably able to get him to sleep at 9 pm. (Then he'd wake 2-3x, sometimes more, before being up for the day at 6 am.) Before that, it was basically sleeping in two-hour chunks 24 hours/day, falling asleep on my lap while nursing, mommy hostage, rinse and repeat. 

I think it's totally fine to try a routine at any age, but if the routine doesn't work then it's probably best to let it go for a couple of weeks, for your own sanity. Babies change so fast that bedtime can be completely different (hopefully in a good way!) in two weeks. 

[ssmjlm]

For us, it was never too early to have a bedtime routine. The "time" part was what was always changing.

At 6w E started to sleep about 10-6 most nights. Then she slowly creeped it up to 9-5 (up to eat) then up for the day around 8.

Daycare will definitely push her earlier.

For me, I had to let her lead the evening/night schedule. Even though I was exhausted, going to bed at 9 just wasn't going to work b/c she wasn't ready to.

[Deleted]

If you want her down earlier, you probably need to get her up earlier and get some early morning sunshine for a few days.

That said, it's pretty early to act like doing things has a predictable outcome. Rollin' with it is sort of the name of the game.

[namasteak]

I am sorry you are so tired. Newborn sleep is such a guessing game and as a planner/schedule lover that was very hard for me. Knowing that a late bedtime and approximately how long to keep DS awake was helpful as it made me feel like I Had some control. I used this chart:
www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/

[Velar Fricative]

For the first two months, if DD fell asleep before midnight it was a good night, no joke. 6 weeks was peak shittiness for bedtime and rocking would take hours. What helped was 1) her 2-month shots, but that could have been a coincidence, and 3) starting daycare at 3 months. She was so exhausted after daycare for the first several weeks that she just naturally started falling asleep around 7:30 or 8:00 and has had that as her bedtime ever since. Definitely give it time. Hang in there!

[kershnic]

My kids were pretty much on an every 3 hour rotations of eat-play-sleep until 12 weeks or so. "Bedtime" was the arbitrary cycle in which we changed them into pajamas.

[Deleted]

Mar 16, 2015 13:48:18 GMT -5 namasteak said:

I am sorry you are so tired. Newborn sleep is such a guessing game and as a planner/schedule lover that was very hard for me. Knowing that a late bedtime and approximately how long to keep DS awake was helpful as it made me feel like I Had some control. I used this chart:
www.troublesometots.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/

So she's totally normal. This was really helpful, thank you!

I'm really glad to hear that 6 weeks is the peek of fussiness. It's been worse the last week or so than it was, I was worried about it. Hopefully it will start to get a little better. When she's awake and smiling and cooing, it is pretty much the best. 

[redpenmama]

Agree w/everyone else. Plus, the 6-week growth spurt wreaks havoc, so trying to implement a schedule at this point is probably a waste of time. Hang in there...you'll be out of the haze soon and settle into a routine.