Meal Train for the third child...

[iheartthe80s]

Ok or not?

Meal trains for the third child…what are your thoughts? Many of my friends have had a 3rd, so I've been on many meal trains in the last 6 months (I think a total of 8).


Someone today actually was stunned when I said I was doing a dinner for someone with a 3rd. When we moved up here we didn't know anyone, so we didn't get meals…but it would have been amazing (especially when the twins arrived). Thoughts on a meal train for the 3rd child (and the older two in all of these scenarios are 5 and up).

[lexus]

I think meal trains are fine for subsequent children.

[lala]

Yep, even more reason. The only time we had an official thing done for us was when Jack was born and it was amazingly wonderful.

[lattelady5]

I have no issues with a meal train for subsequent children. It's not the same thing as throwing yourself a baby shower.

[NandaB]

Who the fuck judges this?? People with 3 kids dont deserve dinner? Getting meals is not the same as having a shower ffs.

Should my 3yr old have been preparing dinner? Is that the reasoning here?

[auroraloo]

If we have a third, you are ALL welcome to send me food. No mushrooms or seafood please. kthx.

[NandaB]

Mar 18, 2015 20:08:04 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

If a group of friends/family wants to provide a new baby family with meals it is thoughtful and very helpful in my book. I do not know anyone IRL who has requested one for themselves, but am sure there are people who do and I would side eye anyone setting up their own. It is a gift, not an entitlement.

Nobody should NEED to request it though. Their friends and loved one she do it because they just had a baby and its a nice thing to do.

[dizzycooks]

Mar 18, 2015 20:27:05 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Mar 18, 2015 20:08:04 GMT -5 @mama2b said:

If a group of friends/family wants to provide a new baby family with meals it is thoughtful and very helpful in my book. I do not know anyone IRL who has requested one for themselves, but am sure there are people who do and I would side eye anyone setting up their own. It is a gift, not an entitlement.

Nobody should NEED to request it though. Their friends and loved one she do it because they just had a baby and its a nice thing to do.

Should being the key word. I'd love a meal train, but never had anyone bring me a darn thing with either kid. People who are offered that are lucky, but if you don't want/can't participate then just say so. I'm sure they'd understand.

[cabbagecabbage]

I've never participated in a formal meal train but I've brought meals to eat now or freeze to not first birth moms. I agree that it's even more important with subsequent kids. I didn't need to get a shower gift so a meal is the thing I can do for this baby. People are so weird, as if there's some worldwide shortage of aluminum pans or something.

[quesyrah]

Of all things to judge! I think a meal train would be even more helpful to a third time mom.

[arnegard]

Our MOMS Club makes meals for every subsequent baby in the group. I join in and make meals for them.
They were not doing this when DD3 was born, but we did get meals the summer that DH fell at work and subsequently got a blood clot afterwards. It was awesome. They have stepped things up to have a closed FB group for meals now so everyone knows what others are making. We got two or three 9x13 pans of pasta in one week. It's cheap and easy but we had pasta coming out of our ears and I am not a big pasta fan (like 1-2x a month is fine by me!).

[jensriot]

The ONLY thing I wanted when I had my third was for someone to provide dinner. My friend organized meals for me. It was amazing. Please tell me people don't really judge this.

I agree that I would side eye someone requesting it for themselves. Around here people bring food for everything. Hell, I was part of a meal train for a friend's breast lift/aug surgery.

I also think it's ok to say no sometimes.

[vettymama]

I really wish more people around my area would do this, I should start one in our ECFE program.

But no, I would not judge and I agree, it seems more helpful with every birth, 1st or 6th, etc

[trizzie]

We had one with DD2. Actually, it started the Monday after DS's diagnosis (in November) and they took us through the first of January. It was a blessing beyond belief and a huge burden lifted.

[thecheshirekat]

It always makes me sad when people get judgmental about meal trains. It is such a great, easy way to show someone love and support. And I get that it's not proper etiquette to set one up for yourself, but at the same time, we always say that new moms need to reach out and ask for help when they're struggling, so if a mom is able to say "hey, here's a way you could really help us, would you consider bringing us a meal?" I'd bring her one in a hot minute.

[NandaB]

Mar 18, 2015 23:20:08 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

It always makes me sad when people get judgmental about meal trains. It is such a great, easy way to show someone love and support. And I get that it's not proper etiquette to set one up for yourself, but at the same time, we always say that new moms need to reach out and ask for help when they're struggling, so if a mom is able to say "hey, here's a way you could really help us, would you consider bringing us a meal?" I'd bring her one in a hot minute.

Word to your mom

[scorpio72]

Second/third/fourth children are when you would need it the most! I think it's perfectly fine for a third child.  

[ashb62]

If friends and family hadn't brought us meals after the twins were born, my poor first child would have probably been eating McDonald's and Easy Mac every night. I definitely needed it way more the second go round than I did the first.

That's such a stupid thing to judge. If you don't want to take a meal, don't. Personally, I love taking meals to new moms, because I get newborn snuggles.

[momin2013]

We had literally one person bring a meal when DS was born, and it was one of DH's co-workers of all people. I can tell you, we ate the shit out of those chicken pot pies.

I wouldn't set one up for myself, but I see nothing wrong with meal trains, no matter what # baby it is.

[minerswife17]

With 3 kids they NEED dinner. I think it's great.

[scattered]

What was the reason for the reaction? A meal train isn't a shower! Weird.

[andrewsgal]

I think it's fine however I decline all meals offered. I do make them for othets

[justbecause]

We got a ton with ds1. One with ds2 (my mil had dinner ready for us when we came home from the hospital).
I think if people want to, that's great. The more kids, the harder it gets to put a dinner on the table.
We just ordered take out a lot when ds2 (who never slept) was little.

[jensriot]

Mar 18, 2015 23:20:08 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

It always makes me sad when people get judgmental about meal trains. It is such a great, easy way to show someone love and support. And I get that it's not proper etiquette to set one up for yourself, but at the same time, we always say that new moms need to reach out and ask for help when they're struggling, so if a mom is able to say "hey, here's a way you could really help us, would you consider bringing us a meal?" I'd bring her one in a hot minute.

You know, that is a really good point. Ok, no more side eyeing.

[nicolewi]

All the more reason!

I don't know if it's just not that common here or what, but I NEVER got meals with any of my kids, except for once when my SIL brought us soup, cookies and bread. My mom came and stayed and cooked for us while she was here, but I never got lasagnas and what-not. Maybe it's also b/c my friends are far away with their own small kids and I lived far from work, too, when I was working. But then, I've also never MADE meals for anyone with a new baby, either (again, friends all kind of far and I already had small kids to take care of).

The only meal train I've ever been part of was for a woman with cancer, and that was through work.

[mamaalysson]

I love meal trains! For new babies or any family that needs a helping hand. It's so easy to do if you are already cooking dinner, and I remember what a huge relief it was to not have to worry about dinner when you are already stressed and so, so tired. We actually just set one up for our neighbors whose daughter is in the hospital, and it looks like they are covered for the next month. In our community, friends are quick to set one up for a friends who may need it, but I would not waste a side eye on someone setting one up for themselves. I like how thecheshirekat put it.

You know who gets my side eye this morning? The chick in my local FB group who set up a GoFundMe to raise funds so that she can buy the stuff she wants for her baby due in May. She is now arguing with everyone who responds with ideas for places to look for help on used or free items.

[lattelady5]

Mar 18, 2015 23:20:08 GMT -5 thecheshirekat said:

It always makes me sad when people get judgmental about meal trains. It is such a great, easy way to show someone love and support. And I get that it's not proper etiquette to set one up for yourself, but at the same time, we always say that new moms need to reach out and ask for help when they're struggling, so if a mom is able to say "hey, here's a way you could really help us, would you consider bringing us a meal?" I'd bring her one in a hot minute.

This exactly!

[quesyrah]

Mar 19, 2015 10:23:43 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

I love meal trains! For new babies or any family that needs a helping hand. It's so easy to do if you are already cooking dinner, and I remember what a huge relief it was to not have to worry about dinner when you are already stressed and so, so tired. We actually just set one up for our neighbors whose daughter is in the hospital, and it looks like they are covered for the next month. In our community, friends are quick to set one up for a friends who may need it, but I would not waste a side eye on someone setting one up for themselves. I like how thecheshirekat put it.

You know who gets my side eye this morning? The chick in my local FB group who set up a GoFundMe to raise funds so that she can buy the stuff she wants for her baby due in May. She is now arguing with everyone who responds with ideas for places to look for help on used or free items.

Ugh the go fund me for every freaking thing drives me bonkers!!

[amynumbers]

Do none of these people have functioning partners? Yes, I see no difference between a meal train for a first kid or a third, but i always wonder -- where the hell is the other adult in this situation (assuming one is around)?

[amynumbers]

Mar 19, 2015 10:57:53 GMT -5 newnamesameperson said:

Mar 19, 2015 10:41:16 GMT -5 amynumbers said:

Do none of these people have functioning partners? Yes, I see no difference between a meal train for a first kid or a third, but i always wonder -- where the hell is the other adult in this situation (assuming one is around)?

Even if there is a "functioning partner" it seems like a meal train would be a nice gesture.  I'm thinking for most people it isn't something they expect or require.  I guess the thought is while having a newborn, it allows the parents to have to manage one less thing for that day.  I have never experienced the meal train, but would definitely participate if asked...but more likely would just pick up some type of take out for the couple rather than make the meal myself.  


 

Oh, I agree.  I mean, it was nice when people brought food!  But I totally have a bias against the trains -- kind of like the mad dash for freezer meals.  Ladies aren't the only people who can make a five minute meal!