please help me with this? UPDATE

[spedrunner]

so i am in recovery from an ED (anorexia)  I had dealt with it in the past, and relapsed over a year ago. Since I have seen a nutritionist, therapy, on meds, etc. I am doing AMAZING!! I really am! Not only am i eating amazing, healthy good foods. I am ENJOYING them and the guilty feelings are almost gone
*(Yesterday I noticed some of my tummy/skin/back hanging over my pants, and I thought, Eh, oh well! Im happy, and then I went and ate

Anyway, my problem now is dealing with people and society and social functions.  I eat healthy. I try to eat clean, whole, nutritional products , i avoid processed foods, but do NOT avoid fat/calories, etc, its really not about that . I like putting good things in my body bc I enjoy them AND bc i deserve them

I have a social event tomorrow night. Pizza, snacks, etc.  I am excited to go, but the anxiety kicks in once i start thinking about "food"

I know I will eat dinner BEFORE i go, so that I am content, happy , full. Im not worried about that any longer. What Im worried about is what OTHERS will think of me if i am not eating, or not eating much

I do not want to explain to anyone that "I ate at home, I am not hungry, I am not here to eat, etc"  If there is something I see that I want, ill try it, but i cant gaurentee you'll see me with a plate of food

I do not want people to THINK I have an eating disorder I know I am in recovery. The event for me is more about socializing (which is difficult for me) not food, yet I am so concerned of what OTHERS think (bc I am used to getting comments "Why arent you eating, you should try this, etc"

How would you /do you handle situations like this?

****UPDATE******
So I went, it was fine. I ate before hand and was full and content when I arrived. There was pizza and some snacks, wine, etc. I don't drink alcohol and had coffee with me, there was nothing that looked good there and I was not hungry so ..........IT WAS NOT A BIG DEAL
I realize how silly I am to overthink these things. In fact, no one is worried about me or what I am/am not eating. There are too worried about their own issues. And if they happen to offer me sometihng, I can decline or accept and dont have to give any reasons as to why.

I am realizing that it is much more in my head than I think.....people just say things, sometimes they are also uncomfortable. I am free to chooose what to put in my body, no justification needed 

Thanks girls!

btw, it was SO MUCH FUN!! However I did NOT win any designer bags

[Deleted]

Congratulations, spedrunner. You sound like you're in a really good place right now!

I know nothing about ED, but I think I can relate as an alcoholic in recovery. There are situations that are quite similar. Have a glass of wine -- no thanks -- what? -- why aren't you drinking? In fact, flex helped me with a situation this week! LOL.

If you don't want to answer that you are full because you ate at home, which seems like the logical and truthful answer, how about putting them off with "Hmmm, maybe later".

[sigir]

Wow that is so hard bc as an alcoholic I can always pretend I have a drink in an awkward social situation. You can't pretend w food! I saw a documentary on eating disorders and they said it's the hardest addiction to recover from since you have to keep eating to live. It's not like an alcoholic who just avoids alcohol for the rest of their lives. So I am so impressed you are doing so well.

I would probably just echo Courtneyloves and just be honest that you already ate. You can't control if they think things, so try to let that go.

[flex]

Mar 20, 2015 9:33:23 GMT -5 sigir said:

Wow that is so hard bc as an alcoholic I can always pretend I have a drink in an awkward social situation. You can't pretend w food! I saw a documentary on eating disorders and they said it's the hardest addiction to recover from since you have to keep eating to live. It's not like an alcoholic who just avoids alcohol for the rest of their lives. So I am so impressed you are doing so well.

I would probably just echo Courtneyloves and just be honest that you already ate. You can't control if they think things, so try to let that go.

Agreed.  You cannot control how other people think.  Just tell them firmly and politely that you're not hungry.  If they persist in quizzing you, they are the rude ones--not you.  

[aba]

I don't really have any advice for you because I have the same issue;) I really try to just not think about what other people are thinking. If that makes sense:) I get it though. If I don't eat, I'm afraid people will think I'm slipping. If I do eat, I'm afraid people will judge what I'm eating. Ugh!

[mel]

So glad you are doing well! Hugs!

No real advice for you but I think the others have had great suggestions. I would probably just respond with "I've already eaten" and leave it at that.

[just]

I find that people who struggle with EDs (myself included) think about food and eating FAR more than the average person. I think there's a good chance that no one will even notice that you're eating or not eating. If they suggest trying something just mention that you're stuffed right now but might try it later. 

Also, about being concerned that people think you're anorexic now while you're recovering. Remember that when you were struggling, you were probably pretty good at hiding it. The general populations idea of what is or isn't disordered eating is often extremely flawed. So by just being happy and true to what you and your body needs, I think you'll be fine. 

Good luck!

[phoenixrising]

Awesome! Glad it went well!

I feel like it is SO EASY to overthink things. I know a lot of my ED stuff is related to my anxiety stuff, and a lot of that is what I call "scenario building," i.e. guessing how things will go before they actually happen (like "if I do this thing, so-and-so will be mad at me."). I agree with just also...I am always thinking about food. What I just ate, what I "want" to eat, what I should have eaten, what I should not have eaten, what I "can't" eat, etc.

[mel]

Glad it went well! But seriously...boo to not winning any designer bags.

[flex]

I'm glad you had a good time.

It took me years to get over worrying a lot about what people thought in the privacy of their own heads. I really don't know what's going on up there, and chances are they're completely wrapped up in with the issues going on in their life.

Keeping calm about this just takes practice and I'm fairly certain you'll be where I am at some point in your life. : )