Post by sparkythelawyer on Mar 24, 2015 13:30:43 GMT -5
Only sort of related, as someone who just had a baby, I never get why people need to touch strangers. Like, its not your hair, its not your belly, its not your body. Why do you need to have your hands all over it? People are weird.
I read this article on FB. I do not even begin to think for a hot second that I understand the politics of black hair or the mental olympics that goes on every day on this subject, but one of the commenters bugged me because her response was "Well, Mom needs to understand that there is no such thing as bi-racial. Her children are black, period." I'm probably being all sorts of naive here, but that bugged me because her children have a varied geneological makeup and why should that not matter simply because one portion of their background is black?
Again, I know that I know very little on this topic, I'm probably getting all sorts of stuff wrong here.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Mar 24, 2015 13:42:05 GMT -5
Bahahaha... hair touching. When my hair was in its natural state strange folks would *still* touch my hair, a grown woman. And, I'm still figuring out my hair. I think the BC is in order, but I worry my hair will be too short to really rock it? There's three or so inches of new growth.
My kids get comments about their curly hair, especially my son when it was longer. What I did not like were the comments about his hair being too long for a boy, that it needed to be cut. It should be fairly curly when he starts school in Aug, and I will leave it in its natural state.
Only sort of related, as someone who just had a baby, I never get why people need to touch strangers. Like, its not your hair, its not your belly, its not your body. Why do you need to have your hands all over it? People are weird.
I read this article on FB. I do not even begin to think for a hot second that I understand the politics of black hair or the mental olympics that goes on every day on this subject, but one of the commenters bugged me because her response was "Well, Mom needs to understand that there is no such thing as bi-racial. Her children are black, period." I'm probably being all sorts of naive here, but that bugged me because her children have a varied geneological makeup and why should that not matter simply because one portion of their background is black?
Again, I know that I know very little on this topic, I'm probably getting all sorts of stuff wrong here.
I'm biracial but I am under no illusions that most people see me as such. When people see me, they see a woman with curly black hair and brown skin (yella it may be) and I am put in the "black" box. It's what the world sees and dictates how I'm treated.
Grey's Anatomy had an episode about this once. Black women kept staring at Derek as he held his adopted daughter (I think she was adopted from Malawi). He got upset that they were judging him for adopting outside of his race and Bailey explained to him "they're not doing that; they're judging you because your baby's hair is a mess." Then she showed him how to fix Zola's hair.
Only sort of related, as someone who just had a baby, I never get why people need to touch strangers. Like, its not your hair, its not your belly, its not your body. Why do you need to have your hands all over it? People are weird.
I read this article on FB. I do not even begin to think for a hot second that I understand the politics of black hair or the mental olympics that goes on every day on this subject, but one of the commenters bugged me because her response was "Well, Mom needs to understand that there is no such thing as bi-racial. Her children are black, period." I'm probably being all sorts of naive here, but that bugged me because her children have a varied geneological makeup and why should that not matter simply because one portion of their background is black?
Again, I know that I know very little on this topic, I'm probably getting all sorts of stuff wrong here.
I want someone to tell me I'm not biracial. Double dog dare the fuck out of someone to say some kind of shit to me. My mama ain't any blacker than my daddy was white and I ain't trying to hear some ignorant ass say otherwise.
To be clear, I refer to myself as a black woman and I'm okay with people saying, oh, she's a black woman.
But don't say I am not white too. I'll be mad.
I know that's really odd semantics but yeah. I am a black woman. I am biracial. Don't just call me white either. I would never identify as a white woman alone.
I feel like biracial explains my racial background. It's accurate.
But in terms of culture, society, who I am, where I stand, I am and will always be a Black Woman. It's a descriptor for me right along with mother, server, children's ministries coordinator, homeschool graduate, Queen fan, scifi lover, etc.
I'd just like to apologize for all white people and how stupid we are. We really reach out and touch black hair all the time?! My god, we're embarrassing.
I am the palest of pale white with crazy curls (3b). I've had some of everybody touch my hair. Some ask, some don't. Some ask after they already have a hand in my curls.
The commenting on style or haircare, I've never gotten that as an adult.
I will cut some hands off if they touch my kids curls.
sandsonik please explain why you are presented with the same thereads as the rest of the board, with extensive and often patient responses and yet you STILL need to correct POC on topics that we experience personally.
Why is that? What complex are you dealing with that you need to insert your ass so frequently and stubbornly?
Are you still incapable of recognizing your white privilege?
I'm sorry, but I didn't correct POC on anything they experience or feel. I'm not sure what I said to anger you.
I'm only commenting on the point of view being assigned to me as a white person. That's something I experience personally. I can't agree with the perception that whites are threatened by people with natural hair. I can't speak to what the perception of black people towards hair styles is, but I can speak towards white people, or at least just my own opinion as a white person.
It brings to mind the Jackson Five, Jimi Hendrix, Sylvers, Sly and the Family Stone, hippie love and peace era ...I'm not threatened at all. I'm happy to see it coming back. It reminds me of my childhood. People on this board with natural hair have commented on how many white people want to touch their hair. That's terribly rude of them, but it suggests to me that they like the hair, not that they're threatened by it. It seems doubtful the white mother in the article would grow her son's hair in a manner that she found intimidating in other men.
Maybe it's regional, but tough guys around here don't rock the natural hair. They wear their hair close cropped, like Aaron Hernandez, maybe with those thin wispy sideburns and razor lines in their hair, whatever those are called. If I were forced to project an impression of a youth with natural hair, I would tend to think he's studious and knows his history and self worth. It makes me think of Malcolm X and his hatred for conks.
But now you've got me curious - what sort of hair styles threaten you? Like, I wouldn't be threatened by a white guy with long hair, (short hair seems more aggressive to me), but maybe you would? Or would it be a crew cut?
I realize though, that I have been privileged. I've always been fat, unattractive, half blind and half deaf so I never got caught up in what people look like. Fat people are invisible; I never had to compete. It's a blessing, really. I'm always shocked when I read about how much people care about that stuff, I don't know how they find the time. But it can be a curse in that I have a hard time recognizing people, because I didn't pay attention to what they looked like!
sandsonik please explain why you are presented with the same thereads as the rest of the board, with extensive and often patient responses and yet you STILL need to correct POC on topics that we experience personally.
Why is that? What complex are you dealing with that you need to insert your ass so frequently and stubbornly?
Are you still incapable of recognizing your white privilege?
I'm sorry, but I didn't correct POC on anything they experience or feel. I'm not sure what I said to anger you.
I'm only commenting on the point of view being assigned to me as a white person. That's something I experience personally. I can't agree with the perception that whites are threatened by people with natural hair. I can't speak to what the perception of black people towards hair styles is, but I can speak towards white people, or at least just my own opinion as a white person.
It brings to mind the Jackson Five, Jimi Hendrix, Sylvers, Sly and the Family Stone, hippie love and peace era ...I'm not threatened at all. I'm happy to see it coming back. It reminds me of my childhood. People on this board with natural hair have commented on how many white people want to touch their hair. That's terribly rude of them, but it suggests to me that they like the hair, not that they're threatened by it. It seems doubtful the white mother in the article would grow her son's hair in a manner that she found intimidating in other men.
Maybe it's regional, but tough guys around here don't rock the natural hair. They wear their hair close cropped, like Aaron Hernandez, maybe with those thin wispy sideburns and razor lines in their hair, whatever those are called. If I were forced to project an impression of a youth with natural hair, I would tend to think he's studious and knows his history and self worth. It makes me think of Malcolm X and his hatred for conks.
But now you've got me curious - what sort of hair styles threaten you? Like, I wouldn't be threatened by a white guy with long hair, (short hair seems more aggressive to me), but maybe you would? Or would it be a crew cut?
I realize though, that I have been privileged. I've always been fat, unattractive, half blind and half deaf so I never got caught up in what people look like. Fat people are invisible; I never had to compete. It's a blessing, really. I'm always shocked when I read about how much people care about that stuff, I don't know how they find the time. But it can be a curse in that I have a hard time recognizing people, because I didn't pay attention to what they looked like!
You are bound and determined not to understand.
ETA: Okay, now I'm mad. I've seen this in like 10,000 threads now and it's so irritating.
1. Your "evidence" is irrelevant and offers no proof of your purported point. Reaching out and touching something (you know, hair) unbidden does not mean that those reachers and touchers aren't "threatened by" it. Being "threatened by" something means you are concerned about what it means for you and your view of the world and how it may or may not affect you. It doesn't mean you literally QUAKE IN FEAR when you are confronted by it. (A) EX: sexist men are "threatened" by assertive women because it upends their notions of what women are supposed to be/are like. (B) Analogous point: some white people (you know, generally, not you, Sandonick individually--and, FYI, you don't speak for THIS white person) are "threatened by" people of color, and black women in particular, not conforming to white standards of beauty via their hairstyles because it upends their notions of what black women "should" be like.
2. Being fat is not like being black, and is wholly irrelevant to the point of whether or not people who are black who wear their hair natural do or do not experience prejudice/etc.
Post by Black Lavender on Mar 24, 2015 20:02:13 GMT -5
I'm sitting here with my pretend MLK fan saying "yes lawd" and "preach on" to the responses in this thread. I think I mentioned that DD2 had an issue at school recently when here classmates were touching her hair and saying that it feels like a dog. She has refused to wear her hair out since this happened no matter how much we encouraged her to. Thankfully we have the best guidance counselor ever who was somehow able to convince her that however she wants to wear her hair is beautiful. I fell in love with him (white male) during our most recent parent meeting when he started with "...these white people just don't get it..."
To be clear, I refer to myself as a black woman and I'm okay with people saying, oh, she's a black woman.
But don't say I am not white too. I'll be mad.
I know that's really odd semantics but yeah. I am a black woman. I am biracial. Don't just call me white either. I would never identify as a white woman alone.
I feel like biracial explains my racial background. It's accurate.
But in terms of culture, society, who I am, where I stand, I am and will always be a Black Woman. It's a descriptor for me right along with mother, server, children's ministries coordinator, homeschool graduate, Queen fan, scifi lover, etc.
You win. *High five* on the bolded parts.
I won't ever identify as "white," but I do identify as black or biracial, in terms of culture/upbringing. I have been told I'm not black enough, so why identify as such. That I'm not "ethnic-looking" enough, unless, of course, I have braids in my hair.
To be clear, I refer to myself as a black woman and I'm okay with people saying, oh, she's a black woman.
But don't say I am not white too. I'll be mad.
I know that's really odd semantics but yeah. I am a black woman. I am biracial. Don't just call me white either. I would never identify as a white woman alone.
I feel like biracial explains my racial background. It's accurate.
But in terms of culture, society, who I am, where I stand, I am and will always be a Black Woman. It's a descriptor for me right along with mother, server, children's ministries coordinator, homeschool graduate, Queen fan, scifi lover, etc.
You win. *High five* on the bolded parts.
I won't ever identify as "white," but I do identify as black or biracial, in terms of culture/upbringing. I have been told I'm not black enough, so why identify as such. That I'm not "ethnic-looking" enough, unless, of course, I have braids in my hair.
I feel like biracial describes what I am. When I say that, you can picture in your head what I look like.
But black woman describes who I am, what I've experienced, the challenges I've faced, etc.
White woman is no kind of way I've ever been treated. It doesn't explain how I look, tells you nearly nothing about who I am as a person. I have no connection to it.
I'm sorry, but I didn't correct POC on anything they experience or feel. I'm not sure what I said to anger you.
I'm only commenting on the point of view being assigned to me as a white person. That's something I experience personally. I can't agree with the perception that whites are threatened by people with natural hair. I can't speak to what the perception of black people towards hair styles is, but I can speak towards white people, or at least just my own opinion as a white person.
It brings to mind the Jackson Five, Jimi Hendrix, Sylvers, Sly and the Family Stone, hippie love and peace era ...I'm not threatened at all. I'm happy to see it coming back. It reminds me of my childhood. People on this board with natural hair have commented on how many white people want to touch their hair. That's terribly rude of them, but it suggests to me that they like the hair, not that they're threatened by it. It seems doubtful the white mother in the article would grow her son's hair in a manner that she found intimidating in other men.
Maybe it's regional, but tough guys around here don't rock the natural hair. They wear their hair close cropped, like Aaron Hernandez, maybe with those thin wispy sideburns and razor lines in their hair, whatever those are called. If I were forced to project an impression of a youth with natural hair, I would tend to think he's studious and knows his history and self worth. It makes me think of Malcolm X and his hatred for conks.
But now you've got me curious - what sort of hair styles threaten you? Like, I wouldn't be threatened by a white guy with long hair, (short hair seems more aggressive to me), but maybe you would? Or would it be a crew cut?
I realize though, that I have been privileged. I've always been fat, unattractive, half blind and half deaf so I never got caught up in what people look like. Fat people are invisible; I never had to compete. It's a blessing, really. I'm always shocked when I read about how much people care about that stuff, I don't know how they find the time. But it can be a curse in that I have a hard time recognizing people, because I didn't pay attention to what they looked like!
You're not just commenting as a white person, you're challenging the personal experiences of black women specifically on this board, and you continue to do this. I'm not angry, I'm irritated. You are willfully stubborn and smug in your posts. And I know you'll write how you're not trying to be smug, but intentions in privilege don't get you far.
Your opinion is so engrained and well-formed in your head, that you are continuously FAILING to see that you've been an insulting force on this board. Constantly making the women of color, and I'm sure others, roll their eyes, and/or bang their heads on their desks because you refuse to get it. After all this damn discussion. After months of expression, discourse, studies (since you need that to confirm our life experiences), we're still at step one with you.
Fall back on your self-proclaimed fatness, low self esteem, what have you. Your projections and continued dialogue on this board regarding these posts is not going to get you anywhere until you do some damn self reflection without casting POC into this idealistic world according to sandsonik.
To answer your question, I don't find any hairstyle threatening. If a bald man is bald, nbd. If he has a shaved head paired with some neo Nazi bullshit, the entirety of him is threatening. Not that I embrace the fear, but I understand that the action of a skin head will likely be dangerous, hateful, and less likely to be harshly punished like POC would be.
And again, to redirect your thought process, it doesn't matter that a white person may like a black person's hair. Touching it without permission, or fetishizing it does is part of white privilege. White people feel like they have the right, or that "it's just okay" to touch someone because their hair is different, or ooooh fascinating. Stop insulting us.
I'm not aware that white people see natural hair as threatening in any way though. If anything, it's the opposite. Has there been some kind of study done as to hairstyles and preconceptions?
I'm really not comfortable with the idea that everyone must conform and that resistance is futile. Those kids should wear their hair however they want, or in the case of the younger one, however her mother wants. Evidently their dad is done with it as well, so what's the problem? I guess the pressure to fit in starts really, really young! Kids that young should be outside playing, not worrying about what they look like.
Someone already made it bold for you, but yet still not seeing this as correction. The gospel according to sandsonik means that welp, black folks are just a'talkin crazy because I don't see it that way.
Again, I'm not challenging the experience of black women. Nowhere did I do that. I accept everything you say about your experiences. Likewise, please don't deny me the right to my own experience. I was commenting on a blog post by a white woman, first of all, not commenting on the experience of anyone here, white or black. I didn't address anyone here at all. In the bolded, I was saying that I don't find natural hair to be threatening - are you saying you're more qualified than me to speak about my experiences? As much as you accuse me of speaking for black women, it appears that opposite is not a problem. You dismiss anything I say or feel with the wave of a hand.
I will try to be more careful to avoid even the hint of challenging you in the future, but I fear our past interactions have poisoned our present ones - and there's no out for me, because if I say "that's not what I said" or "That's not how I feel" then I'm denying you your experience and your interpretation.
I'm not going to give up though, I'm going to keep trying harder.
Again, I'm not challenging the experience of black women. Nowhere did I do that. I accept everything you say about your experiences. Likewise, please don't deny me the right to my own experience. I was commenting on a blog post by a white woman, first of all, not commenting on the experience of anyone here, white or black. I didn't address anyone here at all. In the bolded, I was saying that I don't find natural hair to be threatening - are you saying you're more qualified than me to speak about my experiences? As much as you accuse me of speaking for black women, it appears that opposite is not a problem. You dismiss anything I say or feel with the wave of a hand.
I will try to be more careful to avoid even the hint of challenging you in the future, but I fear our past interactions have poisoned our present ones - and there's no out for me, because if I say "that's not what I said" or "That's not how I feel" then I'm denying you your experience and your interpretation.
I'm not going to give up though, I'm going to keep trying harder.
OMFG.
When someone says "this is my experience" and you say "I don't see it that way" you are CHALLENGING THE EXPERIENCE OF THE SPEAKER.
When someone says "white people are threatened by natural black hair" and you say "that's not true because it reminds me of MJ singing ABC in those striped pants" you are CHALLENGING THE EXPERIENCE OF THE SPEAKER.
Also, in a post about the experience of people who are black and responses to their natural hair, YOUR EXPERIENCE AS A WHITE VIEWER OF DICK CLARK'S TV SHOW ARE IRRELEVANT.
Thank God no one has reached out to touch my babies' hair. Nearly everyone comments on their curls but never reaches out to touch. And I never leave the house with them having frizzy hair. I've even shown up at day care with the brush, spray bottle, and cream to do it when we get there.
DH will take DD out with her hair not done and I get embarrassed. I've tried to tell them that I'm being judged on her hair when I'm not even there but he thinks I'm being silly.
sandsonik please explain why you are presented with the same thereads as the rest of the board, with extensive and often patient responses and yet you STILL need to correct POC on topics that we experience personally.
Why is that? What complex are you dealing with that you need to insert your ass so frequently and stubbornly?
Are you still incapable of recognizing your white privilege?
I'm only on page 1. Yep. I am responding without reading, but this thread should have been shut down after this.
"Not gonna lie; I kind of keep expecting you to post one day that you threw down on someone who clearly had no idea that today was NOT THEIR DAY." ~dontcallmeshirley
I'm sitting here with my pretend MLK fan saying "yes lawd" and "preach on" to the responses in this thread. I think I mentioned that DD2 had an issue at school recently when here classmates were touching her hair and saying that it feels like a dog. She has refused to wear her hair out since this happened no matter how much we encouraged her to. Thankfully we have the best guidance counselor ever who was somehow able to convince her that however she wants to wear her hair is beautiful. I fell in love with him (white male) during our most recent parent meeting when he started with "...these white people just don't get it..."
Sent from my SCH-I545 using proboards
Oh my heart breaks for your DD. I am so sorry to hear this.
sandsonik - now you're saying that you don't find natural hair threatening. YOU. Solo. Black people are telling you experiences, or have in other threads, how they've experienced differently with more than one white person. Yet you write in so confidently, "actually the opposite". Actually no, not the opposite. You're not in a position to tell black people that your experience as a white person who does not have naturally black hair, can flat out negate the reactions and racist interpretations of said black hair.
It has been posted in studies, and experiences that dreadlocks, natural hair, etc. is not considered professional. Which can keep someone from a job. Why do you think that is?
Why do you think a black man in cornrows might seem menacing to a sheltered white person? Why do you think this white woman is struggling with the concept of black hair being touched, not that it grows from her own child's head? Why do you think POC are providing responses to a white woman who has no experience with black hair outside her damn kids? Perhaps their personal experience with black hair.
You are challenging, but again in your mind, you're not. I'm not accusing you of speaking for black women, it seems like you're speaking at us. Attempting to putting us in our place, according to your opinion. "Since I'm not aware that natural hair is threatening, then what you all have been saying, clearly is wrong, and not only wrong, the opposite."
So, if this is you trying harder, patience on this board has already waned. You're not likely to find much else but sad sarcastic gifs for you to STFU and start listening and processing before so benevolently offering us your educated opinions.
Funny how that goes, because it seems to me that you are speaking AT me instead of listening. And it's certainly frustrating.
That maybe what you're hearing, but it's not what I'm saying.
Once again, I didn't post anything about anybody's experience with black hair. I didn't post about dreadlocks, corn rows, or job experiences. I didn't post about whether or not the above is regarded as professional. I commented on one thing only - the idea that white people are threatened by natural hair. Yes, me solo gets to object to that characterization, as would the man who approached Sou - I think it was her - and said how much he liked natural hair.
As I'm sure you can appreciate, it's not fun to read such gross generalizations based on ones race. When you do, don't you feel you have the right to call it? I've never heard one white person express such an opinion about hair, by the way. As the article alluded, plenty of black people approached the mother and disapproved of the hair.
Black posters responded that they bet the objection wasn't to the natural hair, it was that the white lady didn't know how to take care of it. (Despite the fact that they had examples of family members who hate natural hair). THEY, SOLO, objected to that broader characterization of themselves, as disapproving of natural hair. (I don't blame them for that.) And you didn't give them a hard time for that, or for negating her experience by denying the reality of it.
And yes, I'm going to keep trying to listen and learn and be open, even if we have bumps along the way. This rift will not stand.
sandsonik please explain why you are presented with the same thereads as the rest of the board, with extensive and often patient responses and yet you STILL need to correct POC on topics that we experience personally.
Why is that? What complex are you dealing with that you need to insert your ass so frequently and stubbornly?
Are you still incapable of recognizing your white privilege?
I'm only on page 1. Yep. I am responding without reading, but this thread should have been shut down after this.
sandsonik - now you're saying that you don't find natural hair threatening. YOU. Solo. Black people are telling you experiences, or have in other threads, how they've experienced differently with more than one white person. Yet you write in so confidently, "actually the opposite". Actually no, not the opposite. You're not in a position to tell black people that your experience as a white person who does not have naturally black hair, can flat out negate the reactions and racist interpretations of said black hair.
It has been posted in studies, and experiences that dreadlocks, natural hair, etc. is not considered professional. Which can keep someone from a job. Why do you think that is?
Why do you think a black man in cornrows might seem menacing to a sheltered white person? Why do you think this white woman is struggling with the concept of black hair being touched, not that it grows from her own child's head? Why do you think POC are providing responses to a white woman who has no experience with black hair outside her damn kids? Perhaps their personal experience with black hair.
You are challenging, but again in your mind, you're not. I'm not accusing you of speaking for black women, it seems like you're speaking at us. Attempting to putting us in our place, according to your opinion. "Since I'm not aware that natural hair is threatening, then what you all have been saying, clearly is wrong, and not only wrong, the opposite."
So, if this is you trying harder, patience on this board has already waned. You're not likely to find much else but sad sarcastic gifs for you to STFU and start listening and processing before so benevolently offering us your educated opinions.
Funny how that goes, because it seems to me that you are speaking AT me instead of listening. And it's certainly frustrating.
That maybe what you're hearing, but it's not what I'm saying.
Once again, I didn't post anything about anybody's experience with black hair. I didn't post about dreadlocks, corn rows, or job experiences. I didn't post about whether or not the above is regarded as professional. I commented on one thing only - the idea that white people are threatened by natural hair. Yes, me solo gets to object to that characterization, as would the man who approached Sou - I think it was her - and said how much he liked natural hair.
As I'm sure you can appreciate, it's not fun to read such gross generalizations based on ones race. When you do, don't you feel you have the right to call it? I've never heard one white person express such an opinion about hair, by the way. As the article alluded, plenty of black people approached the mother and disapproved of the hair.
Black posters responded that they bet the objection wasn't to the natural hair, it was that the white lady didn't know how to take care of it. (Despite the fact that they had examples of family members who hate natural hair). THEY, SOLO, objected to that broader characterization of themselves, as disapproving of natural hair. (I don't blame them for that.) And you didn't give them a hard time for that, or for negating her experience by denying the reality of it.
And yes, I'm going to keep trying to listen and learn and be open, even if we have bumps along the way. This rift will not stand.
LOL. Hun, you do realized that you asked for STUDIES about the perception that natural hair is viewed as threatening, etc. This is why she has responded to your statement.
And when did Gandalf get in this thread? This rift shall not stand? LOLOLOL Chile. This is too much.
Post by iammalcolmx on Mar 25, 2015 7:56:33 GMT -5
Honestly I don’t think sandsonik is worth engaging. She comes into all posts about older people and now black people with so much foolishness she puts Joseline Hernandez to shame. The formula is a consistent one, she bursts on the scene behaving as Extra as Sugar-free gum just trying to find something to grossly misunderstand or take offense to. Someone try’s to reply explaining their POV her response consists or pulling out the martyr cape AND proving she is a special kind of delusional at the same damn time. This latest reply with her trying to explain (1) how white people must feel (2) worldview solidifies simply her troll/ignorant/experiencing a 20 year old acid trip status. You gotta me fucking kidding me with this shit. How you gonna even suggest the black women on this board are generalizing white people when most of us are either bi-racial or married to white people. YES I pulled the I HAVE WHITE FRIENDS card, and I have earned it. Sorry I am also going to LOL@her trying to explain worldview to or the other very well-travelled black women on this board. She is doing the very most with the least and needs to take all the seats in Maracana immediately.
Honestly I don’t think sandsonik is worth engaging. She comes into all posts about older people and now black people with so much foolishness she puts Joseline Hernandez to shame. The formula is a consistent one, she bursts on the scene behaving as Extra as Sugar-free gum just trying to find something to grossly misunderstand or take offense to. Someone try’s to reply explaining their POV her response consists or pulling out the martyr cape AND proving she is a special kind of delusional at the same damn time. This latest reply with her trying to explain (1) how white people must feel (2) worldview solidifies simply her troll/ignorant/experiencing a 20 year old acid trip status. You gotta me fucking kidding me with this shit. How you gonna even suggest the black women on this board are generalizing white people when most of us are either bi-racial or married to white people. YES I pulled the I HAVE WHITE FRIENDS card, and I have earned it. Sorry I am also going to LOL@her trying to explain worldview to or the other very well-travelled black women on this board. She is doing the very most with the least and needs to take all the seats in Maracana immediately.
As a Certified White Person (TM) and Official Friend Of iammalcolmx (R), I endorse this statement.
I was trying to give you the benefit, but you are not trying to learn in any manner. Just stop talking and listen. Everything that a black women says here does not need to be met with something that may have happened to a white woman. I thnk this is teetering on (similar to) "Well, the Irish were discriminated against." Or "Old people are constantly mocked here." No, no not the same.
I have absolutely nothing of value to add to this, but I am laughing over "Extra as sugar-free gum." A coworker wanted to know what was funny, and I gave an "um, kind of had to be there" response.
I was trying to give you the benefit, but you are not trying to learn in any manner. Just stop talking and listen. Everything that a black women says here does not need to be met with something that may have happened to a white woman. I thnk this is teetering on (similar to) "Well, the Irish were discriminated against." Or "Old people are constantly mocked here." No, no not the same.
I don't think I did that. I may be guilty of that in the past but not here. I didn't compare it to anything that happened to anyone else. I just said I wasn't threatened by a hairstyle and that people should style their hair however they want because it's nobody else's business, and it all blew up. And it wasn't in response to a black woman , it was in response to a white woman.
Honestly I don’t think sandsonik is worth engaging. She comes into all posts about older people and now black people with so much foolishness she puts Joseline Hernandez to shame. The formula is a consistent one, she bursts on the scene behaving as Extra as Sugar-free gum just trying to find something to grossly misunderstand or take offense to. Someone try’s to reply explaining their POV her response consists or pulling out the martyr cape AND proving she is a special kind of delusional at the same damn time. This latest reply with her trying to explain (1) how white people must feel (2) worldview solidifies simply her troll/ignorant/experiencing a 20 year old acid trip status. You gotta me fucking kidding me with this shit. How you gonna even suggest the black women on this board are generalizing white people when most of us are either bi-racial or married to white people. YES I pulled the I HAVE WHITE FRIENDS card, and I have earned it. Sorry I am also going to LOL@her trying to explain worldview to or the other very well-travelled black women on this board. She is doing the very most with the least and needs to take all the seats in Maracana immediately.
As a Certified White Person (TM) and Official Friend Of iammalcolmx (R), I endorse this statement.
I don't know. You shole is working on that Honorary Blackness Certificate. CHILE. When you said "Bound and Determined not to understand," I dayum near fell out laughing. The last time I heard someone say that it was my great-grandma. That's a black granny saying right there.
As a Certified White Person (TM) and Official Friend Of iammalcolmx (R), I endorse this statement.
I don't know. You shole is working on that Honorary Blackness Certificate. CHILE. When you said "Bound and Determined not to understand," I dayum near fell out laughing. The last time I heard someone say that it was my great-grandma. That's a black granny saying right there.
You're not just commenting as a white person, you're challenging the personal experiences of black women specifically on this board, and you continue to do this. I'm not angry, I'm irritated. You are willfully stubborn and smug in your posts. And I know you'll write how you're not trying to be smug, but intentions in privilege don't get you far.
Your opinion is so engrained and well-formed in your head, that you are continuously FAILING to see that you've been an insulting force on this board. Constantly making the women of color, and I'm sure others, roll their eyes, and/or bang their heads on their desks because you refuse to get it. After all this damn discussion. After months of expression, discourse, studies (since you need that to confirm our life experiences), we're still at step one with you.
Fall back on your self-proclaimed fatness, low self esteem, what have you. Your projections and continued dialogue on this board regarding these posts is not going to get you anywhere until you do some damn self reflection without casting POC into this idealistic world according to sandsonik.
To answer your question, I don't find any hairstyle threatening. If a bald man is bald, nbd. If he has a shaved head paired with some neo Nazi bullshit, the entirety of him is threatening. Not that I embrace the fear, but I understand that the action of a skin head will likely be dangerous, hateful, and less likely to be harshly punished like POC would be.
And again, to redirect your thought process, it doesn't matter that a white person may like a black person's hair. Touching it without permission, or fetishizing it does is part of white privilege. White people feel like they have the right, or that "it's just okay" to touch someone because their hair is different, or ooooh fascinating. Stop insulting us.
Also, this is where you offered correction: Someone already made it bold for you, but yet still not seeing this as correction. The gospel according to sandsonik means that welp, black folks are just a'talkin crazy because I don't see it that way.
I told her where to go and what to look for but I don't see any evidence that she spent one moment doing that, educating herself, expanding her worldview. She didn't come back and say, well I did some reading and I understand or I don't understand, no, no, she came back to tell us one mo' time how we are wrong because, see, she said so. I'm two ticks away from just blocking her and moving on because I am at BEC status with her at this point.
I did, still reading, but mostly finding good hair vs bad hair stuff. Nothing about hair being intimidating or scary. I'll try go ogling that specifically, but I see no reason to disbelieve you. I just don't feel it perdonally and have never heard anyone say it, which seemed odd since I know a lot of white people. I'm ashamed that there are people who feel that way. I'm very sorry if anyone ever made you feel bad about your hair. I can assure you I would never let that happen in my presence.