Post by bullygirl979 on Mar 25, 2015 21:09:15 GMT -5
Anyone else hate it? It's weird, at work I am able to have difficult conversations and I'm fine. And with my family or P I'm able to do it too. But for some reason, I *hate* doing it with strangers! I just had to talk myself into emailing the other realtors to say I didn't pick them. And I feel guilty for not picking the other HVAC guys who gave me quotes. WTF??! I don't owe these people anything, yet I feel terrible!
Post by starrieskies on Mar 25, 2015 23:02:51 GMT -5
I will readily admit that I hate confrontation. I avoid it whenever possible. However if I do not feel like it's possible to avoid it, I get all kinds of anxious about it before hand but usually do just fine in the moment. After its over I get all self conscious about it and worry that I may have been to much of a bitch. I have an at times unhealthy desire to please other people.
Post by captainmel on Mar 25, 2015 23:28:48 GMT -5
I have a hard time confronting strangers. Like, if the cashier at the fabric store rings up something wrong I have to consider how much the item cost and if it is worth it to tell them. Less than $5 and I probably won't.
I don't think what you mentioned is confrontation. So, I guess that answers the question for me!
Confrontation meaning telling someone something they probably don't want to hear.
It's splitting hairs, but I'm with mags. When is hear "confrontation", I think of it as hostile, as you know the other person is going to react negatively. To just tell someone something they don't want to hear - it COULD lead to confrontation, but the act in and of itself.... well, as I read your OP, I was like "That's not confrontation".
To your point, though, I too feel uncomfortable having to tell someone "Not using your service".
I find it SO much easier to deliver bad news/letdowns/disagreements to strangers than people I actually like and care about.
Me too... For some reason, if I care about the person (not saying I don't care about strangers) I have a really difficult time making myself and my healthy boundaries a priority. I'm also like starrieskies - my desire to make other people happy usually trumps my own needs.
Anyone else hate it? It's weird, at work I am able to have difficult conversations and I'm fine. And with my family or P I'm able to do it too. But for some reason, I *hate* doing it with strangers! I just had to talk myself into emailing the other realtors to say I didn't pick them. And I feel guilty for not picking the other HVAC guys who gave me quotes. WTF??! I don't owe these people anything, yet I feel terrible!
I hate confrontation too but in my field I do it a lot. Don't feel to bad about telling the HVAC guys no or the realtors. They hear it all the time.
Telling someone that you are unhappy with the job they did is confrontation. Telling them you are going with another contractor is business.
I'm a pussy. What can I say?
It certainly doesn't say anything negative about you that you don't like to disappoint people, but they know you're shopping around and they certainly don't expect to win every single job. Don't feel badly.
Post by udscoobychick on Mar 26, 2015 14:49:14 GMT -5
I also am not a fan of when someone uses "pussy" in a negative connotation, but it doesn't bother me enough to actually say something because I hate confrontation. :-P Full circle.