Rudeness & being demanding

[nowa]

So is this a normal 3 (or 4) year old thing or are we failing miserably at raising kind and polite kids? DD1's preschool teachers brought it up at p/t conferences and then again this week. I'm constantly reminding her about her tone, asking her to a speak politely and kindly, and praising her when she does. I try my best to model but it's so damn hard when she's being just plain rude or obnoxious. And we've been under so much stress with our recent move that my patience is thin so I fear that it's partially my doing...

[Deleted]

Well...it hasn't been brought up to us by anyone? But I feel like we're CONSTANTLY working on that with our 3.5 year olds. "Use a nice tone...ask with a good attitude...use your manners...how do you ask...that's not how you talk to mommy" etc etc

It's REALLY hard for me to use a nice tone when all I'm getting back is attitude but I do notice they do better when I do better.

I think it's the age....I hope :0P

[gastro]

My ears don't understand a rude or whiny voice. He can try again in a normal voice if he needs something and then I can help him. Praises for being nice, friendly, and patient.

[quesyrah]

I think it's largely an age thing. DS definitely has had attitude issues and I just tell him he needs to rephrase his words.

[excited30]

I agree with it's an age thing. My daughter (just turned three) has recently started answering my questions with, "It's not for you to know mom!" Throws in a bit of sass here and there... we're working on it

[lexus]

Apr 1, 2015 19:51:24 GMT -5 gastro said:

My ears don't understand a rude or whiny voice. He can try again in a normal voice if he needs something and then I can help him. Praises for being nice, friendly, and patient.

I tell dd I can't understand her but if she wants to use her words I can help her.

[zbeesma86]

Dude. My 2 and a half year old is such a sass-a-frass

She told me the other day she didn't like me!!

Over a sucker. For real?!?!

I told her she hurt my feelings & she started to sing the Doc Mcstuffins song "hey, what's giing on? Tell me what's wrong, I can tell something's bothering you...." I had no words.

It's hard!!! I tell her nice voices & kind words. I say it way more than I'd like to. Ugh. I

[gennyu]

My 4.5 year old is definitely going through a rude phase, although it has not been mentioned to me by teachers. I actually just checked out a couple of library books about politeness(Richard Scarry has a few) in the hopes that "hearing" the same message from someone besides me will get through to him.

In the meantime, I practice deep breathing as much as possible!

[CrazyLucky]

My 4.5 year old is so mouthy. I was expecting it when they got older, but not at this age. We try the tact of not being able to hear or understand an obnoxious voice, but sometimes that doesn't work. I haven't found anything that works regularly, so I have no advice. But I hope it's normal! You have my sympathy.

[Rainyday]

I agree with the age thing but I think it can also just be a personality issue. Some kids are naturally more defiant and smart mouth. My friend's DD is like this despite all Her best efforts. My DS1 is 3.5 and he just loves to huff and puff and cross his arms.
DD (5.5) is naturally a pleaser and pretty sensitive, if you look at her crossly she can dissolve into tears. She is very polite and minds her manners well.
I think at your DDs age it could still be just a phase.
What are her teacher's doing at school? Can you get on the same page with them to increase consistency ?
When DS was rude to his teacher at pick up recently he had to apologize the next morning as soon as he got to school. Yes, I made my kid apologize. I know some will disagree with that but tough shit.

[lexus]

Whenever it is reported to you at pick up that she was rude I would stop and ask her what happened. Go back over the situation with her and explain what other, better choices she could have made. Then ask what she can do to make it better. Dd usually apologizes and offers a hug or a vow to try harder to make good choices. I would also ask how she feels when someone talks to her in a rude way, etc.