Chores for 3 yo

[dizzycooks]

I am at a loss about how to handle this.  My kid was a chore chart.  I have a Melissa and Doug chore chart and she loves it.  We used it a year ago and it lasted a while, but now she wants it back.  I want some sort of incentive for completing everything, but dh is opposed to allowance being tied to chores.  I generally agree with him, but I feel like using a chart leads to some sort of reward system.  Anyway, I'm putting off a 3 yo because I don't know how to handle this.  She has a whole list of 'jobs' she wants because she wants to work like daddy and I.  I'm not worried about what she does, but just how to manage it.

Right now her jobs are:
brush her teeth
dress herself
pick up toys
feed dog
bring her lunch bag in the kitchen each afternoon

She also wants to take care of the baby, but we agreed to share that job lol.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Some simpler ones for the preschool crowd-

Sweep (you can buy child sized broom and dust pan. I've even seen at the dollar store!)

Help load/unload dishwasher

Wipe kitchen table

Wipe bathroom sink

Sort laundry

[lala]

They don't have very much they have to do aside from tasks directly related to themselves (school bags, lunch boxes, putting away toys & bikes, taking care of dirty clothes, etc) and for the ones they do they aren't rewarded. I just figure it's part of living in a house together.

DD1's latest job is taking the trash in & out. It's one trashcan (on wheels!) once a week, not exactly taxing.

They both set the table, unload the dishwasher and sort clothes when asked. I wouldn't say it's every time but a good amount.

I've thought about a chore chart type thing, but it seems unnecessary for us at this point.

Maybe your DD is just excited enough to check things off the list? If that's all she wants to to I'd let her do it and not worry about it.

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Also I'm sure we hashed this out but I'm not sure why there's hate for allowances. I can get how this can end poorly if they're compensated for simply picking up after themselves. Otherwise it's been a great lesson for ds in knowing what things cost, counting, budgeting for whether he wants to save up for a bigger toy, etc.

[dizzycooks]

Apr 2, 2015 7:25:06 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Also I'm sure we hashed this out but I'm not sure why there's hate for allowances. I can get how this can end poorly if they're compensated for simply picking up after themselves. Otherwise it's been a great lesson for ds in knowing what things cost, counting, budgeting for whether he wants to save up for a bigger toy, etc.

I don't get the hate, but I do agree with my H that we don't pay for being a member of the family.  I will pay later for above and beyond chores (things I'd like to hire out, but don't), but at 3 she's hardly my new housekeeper .  Lala you might be right, just checking off a list might be enough for her.  What do you do if they don't do something one day?  I don't want it to be a choice, being a member of the family isn't a choice, you help because that's what you do not because you get a sticker. Does that make sense?

[Deleted]

I have seen some families have two lists (and we plan to do this):
Family jobs (things you have to do just because you live here)
And money jobs (extras you can do above and beyond to earn some money --or other reward)

Like lala said...if she just wants a list to put a sticker on, then make the girl a list

Our kids' jobs are putting laundry in the basket and putting their laundry away when it's folded.
Helping empty the dishwasher
Help with laundry when asked
Get themselves dressed
Clean up toys each night
Brush teeth



We don't offer money for extra jobs yet...but plan to when they're bigger.

[Deleted]

But even I as an adult member of a family don't get to every thing EVERY day and I like checking things off my list??

[Kcthepouchh8r]

Apr 2, 2015 7:31:08 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Apr 2, 2015 7:25:06 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Also I'm sure we hashed this out but I'm not sure why there's hate for allowances. I can get how this can end poorly if they're compensated for simply picking up after themselves. Otherwise it's been a great lesson for ds in knowing what things cost, counting, budgeting for whether he wants to save up for a bigger toy, etc.

I don't get the hate, but I do agree with my H that we don't pay for being a member of the family.  I will pay later for above and beyond chores (things I'd like to hire out, but don't), but at 3 she's hardly my new housekeeper .  Lala you might be right, just checking off a list might be enough for her.  What do you do if they don't do something one day?  I don't want it to be a choice, being a member of the family isn't a choice, you help because that's what you do not because you get a sticker. Does that make sense?

If my kid says they didn't want to do it I would do it with them, hand over hand if appropriate/necessary.

[lala]

Apr 2, 2015 7:34:06 GMT -5 @sing4mysavior said:

I have seen some families have two lists (and we plan to do this):
Family jobs (things you have to do just because you live here)
And money jobs (extras you can do above and beyond to earn some money --or other reward)

This I like. We haven't started doing anything seriously yet regarding chores or allowances. 

I suppose I should start w/ the 6 year ol. 

Dizzy - right now the stuff is not a daily requirement, just as asked. So I would treat it the way I'd treat any other case of not listening. I'd count, they might take a break or lose something special. 

Really, I haven't thought it all out yet b/c we haven't done with w/ any serious intention. 

[Rainyday]

My kids do things around the house because we expect them too. It's part of being a team and we all help out to make this family of 5 work smoothly. That's how we explain it to them. At 5.5 and 3.5 this is what they do:
Brushing teeth and getting dressed definitely don't fall into a chore list for us bc it's just necessary.
Household tasks I usually ask them to help:
They do sort laundry (we have a 3 section bin in the LR)
They unload the DW
They like to wipe the counters, use the DustBuster, sweep

Personal tasks they are responsible for:
Picking up toys
Putting away their shoes, school bags, jackets
Taking the dinner napkins, dish towels up to the LR.

We don't refer to them as "chores" and we don't pay them either. Maybe we will have them earn extra $ later for things like yard work?
I'm not even sure I contributed anything to this post. I just don't want my kids to be assholes who throw stuff around and leave a wake of destruction behind them so I ask them to pick up after themselves.

[rosesandpetals]

Apr 2, 2015 7:35:06 GMT -5 @sing4mysavior said:

But even I as an adult member of a family don't get to every thing EVERY day and I like checking things off my list??

Yeah, I still make a list and check things off. 

[fancynewbeesly]

Reese will be 4 in a about two months.


She doesn't have "specific" chores--but, she does do a lot. Her chores are to clear her spot at the table, put her laundry in her hamper, sort laundry.

She does have a rule that she can't come to our room until she is completely dressed for the day. So she picks out her clothes, and completely dresses herself (down to shoes) for the day.

She also folds some of her laundry (her pajamas) and puts them away as well.

She loves to help out around the house though.

[gastro]

DS carries his stuff from the dining room to kitchen after dinner.
Puts laundry in laundry shoot (including my laundry).
Helps make dinner.
Puts away his toys.
Puts our recycling and compost in the correct bins.
Waters and picks from garden.
Check chicken coop.

DS doesn't get any incentive now but I assume that he will get an allowance when he gets older. He happily does the above. Occasionally he doesn't but then it's pretty quick to get him to do it because there is an immediate consequence - no dessert, less stories, toys that don't get picked up get taken away. We will match what he saves for the bank when that does happen to hopefully encourage him to save.

One of my friends who has a four year old has a medium sized mason jar and he gets little colored Pom poms to fill it with when he completes his chores. When the jar is full he gets to pick out a small toy, book or go for an ice cream. It's takes him about 4 weeks to fill a jar.

[excited30]

Apr 2, 2015 7:31:08 GMT -5 dizzycooks said:

Apr 2, 2015 7:25:06 GMT -5 Kcthepouchh8r said:

Also I'm sure we hashed this out but I'm not sure why there's hate for allowances. I can get how this can end poorly if they're compensated for simply picking up after themselves. Otherwise it's been a great lesson for ds in knowing what things cost, counting, budgeting for whether he wants to save up for a bigger toy, etc.

I don't get the hate, but I do agree with my H that we don't pay for being a member of the family.  I will pay later for above and beyond chores (things I'd like to hire out, but don't), but at 3 she's hardly my new housekeeper .  Lala you might be right, just checking off a list might be enough for her.  What do you do if they don't do something one day?  I don't want it to be a choice, being a member of the family isn't a choice, you help because that's what you do not because you get a sticker. Does that make sense?

TOTALLY!  I am in complete agreement with you on this.  I use the words, this is your responsibility to my 3 year old.  I also use the words, "This is what we do in our family, how we take care of our home."  It's non-negotiable.  -we clean up after ourselves, we pick up our messes, we wipe down spills, etc....

Another idea apart from a list (saw this on Nanny 911) is to have a clear jar or container and each time she does something on the chore chart she can put a colored gem (available at dollar store or craft store) into it.  Pretty soon the jar starts to fill up.  You can pick something fun to do once it has ____ amount in it.  Or just have her watch it fill up and then get to keep them?  Hmmm... Just an idea.

[excited30]

My 3 year old is responsible for:

Puts her dirty laundry away
Sometimes (50/50) puts clean laundry away
Cleans up her toys and tidies her room a few times a day
Feeds our cat
Wipe up spills she makes
Carrying a small bag of garbage down to big garbage bin when I take it out
Checking the mail
Setting the table (50/50)
Put her night time diaper in the garbage

Does when she feels like it (not mandatory)

Vaccum with mommy (she has her own stick plug in one), 
Clean the windows or her bedroom mirror (she has her own spray bottle of water and cloths to use when she wants)
Sweep (she has her own mini dust pan and hand broom)

I try and provide dd with things for her to do it herself..but just to boost her self confidence, not make her responsible for everything at the age of 3