OK, last inlaw vent for today. I promise!

[cleo29]

Let me just say I am glad I am not out there because my head would have exploded by now.

1) C did this pretty good hike up a hill in the woods near their house and MIL made a comment, in surprise I am guessing, about how well she was doing and then went on to say "Well, A & R (SIL's kids) are great walkers too, but then they walk everywhere" Umm, they live in a city and our kids walks a lot of places too which H kind of told her.

2) and this is the worst, while C was napping and H too since he fell asleep with her, MIL, SIL and A went to visit his aunt who has been moved to an assisted living place due to failing health. HE has been there all weekend and she never once mentioned doing a visit, nor did she think to ask him to go. We ask how the aunt is doing every time we talk to them, so we are obviously thinking about her. H was so upset and hurt.

[Deleted]

:-|

Your MIL is a piece of work.

[Deleted]

I didn't see the issue with the good eater and walker comments, but leaving your H out of the visit is sucky. I'm sorry Cleo.

[cleo29]

Stellas, the way she said the walker comment (from when H was telling me) it's like the boys have to be better. And she has made comments about Charlottes weight since she was a baby and not in a good way, so it grates that she said she is not obese which still implies that she is fat or something, just not yet obese.

and the aunt thing is terrible. I would bet money that when is aunt dies they will not call us when it happens, but wait till our weekly convo.

[Deleted]

Can your H take C and go see the aunt on his own? It would have been nice of your MIL to include him, but perhaps the visit will be more enjoyable for him if he's there with C on his own.

[Deleted]

How is your H even related to these douchebags? Seriously. I hate when grandparents compare their grandkids like that. I wonder if she does it to her other daughters-in-law (talks up how awesome C is and makes them feel the way she makes you feel). And that really sucks about H's aunt. I hope he lets her know how callous and insensitive she is.

[cleo29]

No, I'm pretty sure she talks to SIL about how little we work with C and stuff. You see, SIL has always been the golden child in the family in part because she has always done what her mother tells her or wants of her and never questions things.

Maybe H can go by tomorrow before hey leave, but I'm not sure. Also, C sometimes gets scared by older people and wheel chairs, so if it is just the two of them and she freaks out he will be SOL.

[Deleted]

Ah, I always forget back stories. They suck.

I'd get all sarcastic on their asses. I bet they totally wouldn't know what to do. Lol.

[cleo29]

She doesn't get sarcasm. I shall have to find another way

[Deleted]

Aug 12, 2012 20:09:28 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

No, I'm pretty sure she talks to SIL about how little we work with C and stuff. You see, SIL has always been the golden child in the family in part because she has always done what her mother tells her or wants of her and never questions things.

Maybe H can go by tomorrow before hey leave, but I'm not sure. Also, C sometimes gets scared by older people and wheel chairs, so if it is just the two of them and she freaks out he will be SOL.

This is understandable for a little one. It just makes me side-eye your MIL more for the way she handled it. Sorry Cleo.

[cleo29]

Aug 12, 2012 20:15:23 GMT -5 @kip13 said:

Aug 12, 2012 20:09:28 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

No, I'm pretty sure she talks to SIL about how little we work with C and stuff. You see, SIL has always been the golden child in the family in part because she has always done what her mother tells her or wants of her and never questions things.

Maybe H can go by tomorrow before hey leave, but I'm not sure. Also, C sometimes gets scared by older people and wheel chairs, so if it is just the two of them and she freaks out he will be SOL.

This is understandable for a little one. It just makes me side-eye your MIL more for the way she handled it. Sorry Cleo.

It can't help but feel like it was done that way on purpose.

[Deleted]

Maybe the nursing home has someone C could sit/play with so DH can see his aunt for a short visit?

[cleo29]

They have to leave early in the morning, so going tomorrow will not be possible.

H did tell me that it is becoming obvious to him that SIL does not really like C that much. And when C was in her room (sil and A were in there) I guess she kept asking what things were which means she was probably picking them up and asking and SIL said in a snotty tone "In our house, we don't go into mommy and daddy's room and touch things." She is two! Simply tell her to please stop touching your shit ask her nicely to leave.

[ProfessorArtNerd]

I hate your ils!! I want to be an auntie to C- how could anyone not like her? Come on!

[cleo29]

Because she acts like a regular little kid, I don't know. Honestly, it hurts my heart. When it involves my kids, it hurts me. I'm not saying she is perfect, but she is not an annoying kid. H made a comment to his mom about doing more with her and she said some stupid stuff capped off with "well, she didn't really want to read books" because there is more to life than reading! She likes to read books but she also just likes to do stuff.

[cleo29]

You know what, it is not outright meanness it is indifference. And C is a bright little girl, someday she will figure it out.

[idoinjuly]

I would be fuming. That's a bunch of bs. I would be tempted to take a break from communicating with them for a bit.

[cleo29]

I'm pretty angry and sad. I just don't get it and will never understand it.

[cleo29]

My mom is awesome. C loves her days at her house. They go to the play ground, feed the ducks, do puzzles, read books, color, paint, play, etc. And my mom is just a really warm, affectionate person in general. She took C with her to her office the other day and the women there loved her and thought she was older than 2 1/2. I'm not saying she is perfect, but she is a good kid.

[Deleted]

Aw! Sounds like C has an awesome grandma in your mom! The indifference is rough, b/c it's not outright hateful, and your MIL can act all offended and make it your fault if you cut her out completely. I'm sorry you and your girls have to deal with such assholish behavior.

[greylady]

I understand. It's a boys club with my Inlaws too. We called this weekend to see if they wanted a visit and found out my H's uncle, his adult kids, their kids, my FIL and nephew were all camping at the beach. The uncle etc all live four hours away. They've never met DD. MIL said she didn't want to "impose" by inviting us. We live an hour from where they were camping, we could have just popped over to visit - I understand not inviting a 2 y/o to actually camp.

But MIL is the queen bee. DILs and granddaughters need not apply (until its time to put on Norman Rockwell airs for holiday photos and the like).

C is awesome. Just remember your Inlaws suck and it's their loss. Your mom more than makes up it - C will know and remember that.