Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom

jennynumbers
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 10:48:52 GMT -5

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Post by jennynumbers on Apr 13, 2015 10:48:52 GMT -5

UPDATE 2
BFF mom passed away today. Since it was so aggressive and she was in a lot of pain, I am glad she went quickly and didn't have to suffer long. I have decided that I will just sit tight until BFF gets back to me. I've texted her this morning and will again tonight/tomorrow. Once she is able to process through today and probably start the planning with her family tomorrow I will go and visit. Thanks for all the advice/comments.

UPDATE
They don't think she will last much longer than tonight/tomorrow. She is still in the hospital with her family around her. I will now forgo the gas GC (Which really, Ala, that was a great idea) and instead I will get some groceries. I will also offer to pick up food, go back to the house early for set-up etc... after the services.

Thanks for all the advice/recipes.

My BFF of over 20 years mother is passing away from cancer. It is aggressive and she has undergone several surgeries plus chemo/radiation. She is currently in the hospital but they are releasing her with meds to make her comfortable at home. They are only giving her weeks to live.

I don't know what to do. For my friend, for her mom, whom I love. I don't know if I should visit, if she wants visitors. I've been texting my friend and asking if there is anything at all that is needed to please please let me know. I just feel so lost and helpless right now. And so incredibly sad.

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Last Edit: Apr 16, 2015 10:22:23 GMT -5 by jennynumbers

sitnspin
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 10:53:58 GMT -5

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Post by sitnspin on Apr 13, 2015 10:53:58 GMT -5

This is such sad news, I am sorry.

We lost Jerry's brother and mom last year and so many folks reached out to us regarding what they could do. It depends on how much privacy the family wants. We really appreciated food, flowers, and just getting a phone call to let us know they were thinking of us.

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MyName Full Member Posts: 4,407 Likes: 3,573	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 10:55:13 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by MyName on Apr 13, 2015 10:55:13 GMT -5 I'm so sorry, Jenny. I don't really have any advice, but I'm sure she knows you'd be there in a second if needed. T&P for your BFF and her family, and huge hugs for you!
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darkling_glory
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 11:34:13 GMT -5 via the ProBoards App jennynumbers, lexxasaurus, and 2 more like this

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Post by darkling_glory on Apr 13, 2015 11:34:13 GMT -5

One thing I've heard that helps is to make actual suggestions of things you can do. So, don't say "Let me know how to help."

Instead, you could try, "I'm going to drop off a lasagna on Thursday. How does that sound?" or "I'm available on Mondays if you need rides to the hospital/ want some company."

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jennynumbers Full Member Posts: 2,465 Likes: 1,361	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 11:58:09 GMT -5 darkling_glory likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jennynumbers on Apr 13, 2015 11:58:09 GMT -5 Thanks, everyone. I really appreciate. DG- that is a good idea. Thanks for that.
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theatre4life
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 13:39:48 GMT -5

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Post by theatre4life on Apr 13, 2015 13:39:48 GMT -5

I was coming in to say the same thing as DG, every advice I have seen, is be specific. It is a lot easier for the family to have to just answer a yes and no question (no that time doesn't work for me, yes that would be great) than have to come up with something for every well-intention person asking what they can do.

I am sorry.

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Snow puppy is a big brother

honeydew1894 Moderator Posts: 3,920 Likes: 1,022	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 13, 2015 19:05:00 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by honeydew1894 on Apr 13, 2015 19:05:00 GMT -5 I am so sorry. I would definitely send some food, and maybe offer to sit with BFF for a while?
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blondemoment123 Elder Posts: 15,751 Likes: 18,783	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 14, 2015 8:12:42 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by blondemoment123 on Apr 14, 2015 8:12:42 GMT -5 I'm so sorry Can you send meals, a cleaning service, etc?
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jennynumbers
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 14, 2015 9:34:26 GMT -5 MyName likes this

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Post by jennynumbers on Apr 14, 2015 9:34:26 GMT -5

Thanks everyone. I am going to go to the grocery store tonight and pick up some items she might need. She has an 8 y/o daughter, so I'll get some easy-ready meals and some milk and stuff. I'll look into some GF freezer meals too.

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lizardesque Full Member Posts: 3,674 Likes: 1,057	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 14, 2015 9:39:14 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by lizardesque on Apr 14, 2015 9:39:14 GMT -5 I'm a little late on this, but it looks like you've gotten good advice. I'm so sorry.
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alabasterangel Senior Member Posts: 5,902 Likes: 1,280	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 14, 2015 9:41:32 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by alabasterangel on Apr 14, 2015 9:41:32 GMT -5 GC to gas stations can be helpful too. There are usually a lot of extra miles during those times.
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jennynumbers
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 14, 2015 15:29:08 GMT -5

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Post by jennynumbers on Apr 14, 2015 15:29:08 GMT -5

Apr 14, 2015 9:41:32 GMT -5 alabasterangel said:

GC to gas stations can be helpful too. There are usually a lot of extra miles during those times.

That is a great idea. Her mom lives about an hour away and I am sure there will be daily trips.

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sitnspin Senior Member Posts: 6,255 Likes: 2,128	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 15, 2015 14:15:30 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sitnspin on Apr 15, 2015 14:15:30 GMT -5 I'm so sorry
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lexxasaurus Senior Member Posts: 7,964 Likes: 6,741	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 15, 2015 17:29:50 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by lexxasaurus on Apr 15, 2015 17:29:50 GMT -5 I'm so sorry to hear this update, but it's great of you to help in whatever ways you can.
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alabasterangel Senior Member Posts: 5,902 Likes: 1,280	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 15, 2015 17:32:53 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by alabasterangel on Apr 15, 2015 17:32:53 GMT -5 Sorry to read that update. You're a good friend for helping out.
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sapphire bou Full Member Posts: 4,270 Likes: 1,207	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 13:22:50 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sapphire bou on Apr 16, 2015 13:22:50 GMT -5 I'm sorry, Jenny.
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sitnspin Senior Member Posts: 6,255 Likes: 2,128	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 13:26:22 GMT -5 milsaroo likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by sitnspin on Apr 16, 2015 13:26:22 GMT -5 I am so sorry for your loss Jenny. ((big hugs)). You let us know if YOU need anything. (hug)
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MyName Full Member Posts: 4,407 Likes: 3,573	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 13:31:22 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by MyName on Apr 16, 2015 13:31:22 GMT -5 ((hugs))
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OrangePixyStix Senior Member Posts: 8,430 Likes: 1,540	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 13:50:01 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by OrangePixyStix on Apr 16, 2015 13:50:01 GMT -5 Hugs to you. I'm so sorry for you and your friend's loss.
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jennynumbers Full Member Posts: 2,465 Likes: 1,361	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 14:28:36 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by jennynumbers on Apr 16, 2015 14:28:36 GMT -5 Thanks, everyone.
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glw Senior Member Posts: 8,422 Likes: 7,956	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 14:56:00 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by glw on Apr 16, 2015 14:56:00 GMT -5 ((hugs)) I'm sure your friend will appreciate any support you can give.
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honeydew1894 Moderator Posts: 3,920 Likes: 1,022	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 16, 2015 16:22:09 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by honeydew1894 on Apr 16, 2015 16:22:09 GMT -5 I am so sorry for your loss and your friend's loss. Huge hugs.
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theatre4life Full Member Posts: 2,542 Likes: 828	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 17, 2015 9:46:21 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by theatre4life on Apr 17, 2015 9:46:21 GMT -5 hugs I am so sorry.
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alabasterangel Senior Member Posts: 5,902 Likes: 1,280	Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom Apr 17, 2015 11:21:06 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by alabasterangel on Apr 17, 2015 11:21:06 GMT -5 I will keep you all in my thoughts.
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Update # 2- Advice needed RE BFF's dying mom

Post by jennynumbers on Apr 13, 2015 10:48:52 GMT -5

Post by sitnspin on Apr 13, 2015 10:53:58 GMT -5

Post by MyName on Apr 13, 2015 10:55:13 GMT -5

Post by darkling_glory on Apr 13, 2015 11:34:13 GMT -5

Post by jennynumbers on Apr 13, 2015 11:58:09 GMT -5

Post by theatre4life on Apr 13, 2015 13:39:48 GMT -5

Post by honeydew1894 on Apr 13, 2015 19:05:00 GMT -5

Post by blondemoment123 on Apr 14, 2015 8:12:42 GMT -5

Post by jennynumbers on Apr 14, 2015 9:34:26 GMT -5

Post by lizardesque on Apr 14, 2015 9:39:14 GMT -5

Post by alabasterangel on Apr 14, 2015 9:41:32 GMT -5

Post by jennynumbers on Apr 14, 2015 15:29:08 GMT -5

Post by sitnspin on Apr 15, 2015 14:15:30 GMT -5

Post by lexxasaurus on Apr 15, 2015 17:29:50 GMT -5

Post by alabasterangel on Apr 15, 2015 17:32:53 GMT -5

Post by sapphire bou on Apr 16, 2015 13:22:50 GMT -5

Post by sitnspin on Apr 16, 2015 13:26:22 GMT -5

Post by MyName on Apr 16, 2015 13:31:22 GMT -5

Post by OrangePixyStix on Apr 16, 2015 13:50:01 GMT -5

Post by jennynumbers on Apr 16, 2015 14:28:36 GMT -5

Post by glw on Apr 16, 2015 14:56:00 GMT -5

Post by honeydew1894 on Apr 16, 2015 16:22:09 GMT -5

Post by theatre4life on Apr 17, 2015 9:46:21 GMT -5

Post by alabasterangel on Apr 17, 2015 11:21:06 GMT -5