update on email guy :(

[charitylynne79]

ohh honey, I'm so sorry. There is someone out there for you so don't give up.

[doriswe]

That sucks....but it's his loss!!

[BlueBayou]

You will find it Red. Just watch In the meantime, relax and have a good time!!!

[blackkitty]

Did you just move to Boise? Where from? Could there be some cultural differences? I recently relocated and have found dating to be very different where I live now.
Also, what do you normally talk about on the first date? Maybe you are saying something that is turning guys off? I don't know... obviously we aren't there but just something to think about

[bullygirl979]

Aug 13, 2012 2:45:51 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

I don't know... the advice I got from my mom and other friends was that I am too much.. too successful, too young to be so successful and that they are looking for a bashful young thing??

RV, I have been told the same thing. Multiple people have said that I am intimidating because of my experiences/education/accomplishments/etc. The way I see it, I don't want to settle and I will find someone that can appreciate me for what I offer, instead of being scared by it.

And I do give the guy props for talking to you about it instead of just disappearing. It does suck that he gave you mixed messages.

[achase123]

Awwwww I'm sorry!!!! Next!

[udscoobychick]

*hugs* RV! Stay true to who you are!

[starburst604]

Awww I'm sorry. After my last real LTR ended, it was 4 years before I met the person I'm with now (one lame 9 month rel right before I met him, but I don't even count it). I did so much growing and improving over that time yet it seemed SO hard to find someone. I felt like I was in my prime and the best I'd ever been and yet couldn't find the right person to appreciate it. It is so discouraging. I have no words of wisdom other than the usual cliches, but hang in there and don't compromise. I know you were talking before about maybe coming across as less accomplished, but seriously, find the guy that thinks you're amazing because you're so accomplished, among other things.

[stephbfan]

I'm sorry but its his loss!
Maybe he was seeing someone else and decided to give that a chance? It was good that he was honest and didn't want to let things get any further.

[livinitup]

You described me at 31 - including the 'too much' stuff. Meeting and dating men in their 30's is soooooo much better than guys in their 20's. Anyway, I didn't know it at 31, but I would soon meet DH, who is very successful and who was looking for a strong, pretty, really put together woman to have a great life together.

That guy is an asshole. Anyone who 'can't quite put their finger on' not having date #2 is a real jerk. Be glad you found out SOONER rather than LATER.

[liubotflittyfud]

Remember, you are as good as you believe yourself to be. What is good for one may not be right for another. You will find your match

[jade28]

Ugh sorry to hear this .

I found this to be the case for alot of Match guys. I am like you and to me a 2nd date is harmless if the 1st date went reasonably well. I find though a lot of guys are more picky with whether they will go on a 2nd date or not. For me, building a connection takes time so I can never decide that quickly.

I do think guys seem to be looking for an instant connection and these over the top feelings. I personally don't think that is how relationships often happen though. Sure it works when you are younger and hormones are running wild and you don't know any better...

But as adults, there is a lot more to love and marriage than an over the top connection like in the movies. Movies so set unrealistic expectations.

You're an awesome catch. It's him, not you!

[emma245]

Aug 13, 2012 7:25:36 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Aug 13, 2012 2:45:51 GMT -5 @redvelvet29 said:

I don't know... the advice I got from my mom and other friends was that I am too much.. too successful, too young to be so successful and that they are looking for a bashful young thing??


that is not who I am.. I need to move but even then .. the grass is always greener,etc .. it might not be any better?? not sure what to do

Someone will appreciate you. My mom tells me that too and to a certain extent it may be correct. I've had dates tell me I intimidate them because I've done so much in my life already (divorced, law school, lived abraod, etc) whereas they haven't moved more than 10 miles from where they grew up.

On the other hand, you can argue with chemistry. Were you guys drinking? I'm guilty of giving mixed signals after I've had a beer or two :/ sorry rv

BOO, I agree his loss and better you found out now. Ive heard the same things as you and MCC in terms of being intimidating. Its really frustrating! Dont give up faith that youll find someone though. I always tell myself there is someone definitely out there for me, I just have to be patient (which Im not....)

[marigoldgirl]

I'm sorry things did not work out the way you wanted them too. Stay positive.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2012 8:33:14 GMT -5 @blackkitty said:

Maybe you are saying something that is turning guys off? I don't know... obviously we aren't there but just something to think about

I mean this in nicest way possible, but sometimes to me you come off as so confident it's borders on arrogant. "People stop me at least a few times a week to tell me how pretty I am" "Guys tell me my breasts are the best they've ever seen." "I'm so successful"

You always seem to only mention that you are successful, smart and pretty. Which are all great qualities. But maybe you should focus on other things that make you a catch ( and I'm sure there are many) and try to lead most with those. It's not downplaying that you are successful, but maybe it's not that people are intimated by your success, but that it's just not as interesting as other aspects of you.

[achase123]

I'm just of the mindset that no matter what the reasons he gave, it's not going to work out so don't dwell on it too much. Of course if there's something blatantly obvious you might have done, then examine that, but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

I always remind myself when I'm disappointed about something that in a month or even a week, the person won't even be on my radar at all anymore. They'll just be some fleeting memory I had or a number I need to delete from my cell. Maybe that sounds harsh but it helps to keep things in perspective when I think about the big picture.

[Deleted]

Aug 13, 2012 15:23:11 GMT -5 achase123 said:

I'm just of the mindset that no matter what the reasons he gave, it's not going to work out so don't dwell on it too much. Of course if there's something blatantly obvious you might have done, then examine that, but it doesn't sound like that's the case.

I always remind myself when I'm disappointed about something that in a month or even a week, the person won't even be on my radar at all anymore. They'll just be some fleeting memory I had or a number I need to delete from my cell. Maybe that sounds harsh but it helps to keep things in perspective when I think about the big picture.

I think this is so true.

[usedtobebear]

That sucks, I'm sorry you're disappointed, as you should be!! You'll meet someone better I'm sure of it!