How do I learn stuff?

[sapphireblue]

Sorry--didn't know how to title this.

I feel like I've learned a bunch of stuff from a couple of pregnancy message boards I am on that no one has told me, not even my OB (I love him though). Like--that you should sleep on either side or your belly if it's comfortable but it isn't good to sleep on your back unless your torso is propped up with a bunch of pillows.

Or that it appears to decrease the incidence of SIDS if the baby sleeps in your room for the first four months or so.

My boss just told me today that swaddling isn't as good now because of concerns about hip development.

I am worried about what I am missing and don't know.

Are there any books I should be reading that anyone can recommend? Or websites? Or am I just feeling insecure?

[Muddled]

Lol. I have no idea.

I have learned everything I know from these boards. Hopefully my pedi will fill in the blanks.

[starburst604]

I think I learned everything here too. I swear my OB told me nothing. Thank god we have each other here.

[runblondie26]

Apr 14, 2015 19:28:03 GMT -5 Muddled said:

Lol. I have no idea.

I have learned everything I know from these boards. Hopefully my pedi will fill in the blanks.

Yep, pretty much all my pregnancy/parenting knowledge came from The Bump, pre-migration. I'm kept current now, thanks to GBCN.

[noodleoo]

Haha, yeah I've probably learned the most useful stuff here and MMM. So useful!

I also took a bunch of prenatal classes. Actually, my favorite has been prenatal yoga. It is nice to talk to other pg women (like the boards but in person!) and I got lucky the teacher is a doula so she's been an awesome resource. I took a prepared childbirth class at my hospital and it was ok. The info was good but I didn't like the teacher. I did enjoy the newborn care class and breastfeeding classes as well. It was really nice to take with my H since he is not big on reading books, etc.

ive also heard the nurses at the hospital are awesome and they teach you a lot while you are there.  So don't worry too much!

[achi]

Everything I've learned has been absorbed through others (friends with kids, message boards, FB groups) and books. I don't think my midwife has really told me anything that I didn't already know the basics of.

In regards to swaddling, the concern is if the swaddles are too tight over the hip. Most swaddle wraps are designed to be loose around the hip area and only tighter over the shoulders and arm area.

[5kcandlesinthewind]

We took a newborn care class last night (which I thought was really helpful), and we plan to take the first aid/cpr class. The childbirth class has been less so, but I'm sure it'll help me be more comfortable when the time comes. I had a minor freakout a few weeks ago because I feel like I've been so focused on being pregnant that I hadn't thought much about what happens after that. (dumb, I know, but I had been very much focused on "this is what I can deal with right now.") I asked friends for book recommendations, and I'm in the middle of Heading Home With Your Newborn, which I'm finding helpful (mostly because I don't find it patronizing or cutesy, like 90% of pregnancy/baby books that make me stabby).

[sapphireblue]

Thanks, I feel better that we're all picking it up in similar ways. I'm going to get that book called Heading Home with your Newborn too.

[Blackout81]

From mom friends. a lot of my friends had their first around the same time as I did, a little ahead of me, they are a great resource once you find true style and philosophy that clicks for you. I also joined a new moms group locally when my daughter was a newborn and that was beyond helpful - I wouldn't have gotten through the first few weeks/months without them. Also you learn by doing, it's scary, but parenting is definitely on-the-job training. You will be awesome! And even the second time around, you question so much.

[dojo]

I learned the most from my BMB on the Bump (now we've moved here - April 2012). I hear a lot of the BMBs moved over to proboards too, but under GBCB. Maybe you could check in there? I wouldn't know 1/100th of what I've learned from them if I was on my own.

I would take everything everyone says with a grain of salt. Do your own research if something doesn't make sense. I swaddled my son and it was the only way we survived the first few months. I would do it again. Babies are swaddled all over the world and have been for centuries yet our hips seem to be ok for the most part. I'm not saying your co-worker is wrong, I'm saying that it doesn't make sense to me, so I would have to look into the issue more and and there would have to be some VERY compelling evidence against swaddling for me to give up the benefits we had with it.

I also read What to Expect in the First Year book. I'm re-reading the first few chapters again this time around. I recommend reading any ante-natal care book ahead of time - when DS was born I was so overwhelmed I couldn't have begun to look up answers to questions I had and I wasn't even coherent enough to stop and think to ask for help. It was straight survival mode.

Your hospital / community may offer a pre-natal class too. Ours was ok, not great.

ETA: I also wanted to say that there really isn't a "right" way to do things.  Despite this, you're going to feel like you got a lot of it "wrong".  That's totally normal and ok.  You'll figure it out, the same way every other mother before you has.  Science and evidence on just about every baby subject changes over time - what's promoted today could be shunned tomorrow.   I'm not saying ignore conventional wisdom or science, I'm just saying that there's wiggle room for 90% or more of parenting decisions and with that comes in the inevitable feeling of guilt over whether you made / are making the "right' choices.  Learn what you can, but don't feel like you have to know it all ahead of time because that's an impossible feat.

[starburst604]

I've been reading these boards and Bump/Nest before it for so long that there was nothing in the prenatal books that was news to me. It's the other side of pregnancy that is still a little mysterious to me. I'm glad we took a newborn care class and I have a breastfeeding class next week. I feel like I will figure out the parenting thing as I go, but I'll have a better chance of success with BF if I have some knowledge under my belt already.

[pooh8402]

Re: swaddling... It depends on HOW you swaddle. People used to swaddle babies papoose style, with the legs out straight and held together tightly. Now, the recommendation is to leave the hips flexed, and the area around the legs loose enough that babies can move their legs/hips. That's why I personally like woombie or modwrap brand swaddles, the arms tight and legs loose.

[thejackpot]

Also trust your instincts. The truth of the matter is that you will have to figure a lot of it out as you go along. You will never recall all of the things that you read or hear- you will have to trust your gut.

[minion]

I'm 18 weeks along and I've been using "Baby Center Pregnancy" and "I'm expecting" apps. I'm also reading/skimming a couple of books that were gifted to me including: "What to expect when you are expecting", "your pregnancy week by week", "you having a baby". We have a bunch of others since I'm apart of our local Buy Nothing group. Reading on this forum, has also been very helpful. I've also started lurking on a "Respectful Parenting Sleep training FB group," just for info. But what I've learned is follow your instincts, and there is a camp for everything, so figure out what works best for you.

[speyedr]

The nurses at the hospital and our pedi told me about some of the stuff you mentioned, like SIDS and swaddling.

[ellipsis]

Some of the random things like extended rear facing carseat stuff and not putting babies in carseats wearing coats I've gotten from here. Some stuff from my sister, like the hip dysplasia baby carrier stuff. Hang out with other new moms and they will LOVE TO TELL YOU what to do. Or maybe just my new mom friends. They've also let me borrow a bunch of their books. I don't exactly expect my OB to teach me how to be a parent in the 5 minutes I see them every few weeks, ya know? They are there to make sure everyone is healthy right now.

[sarahsas]

The labor and delivery class and infant care class that I took at the hospital helped immensely!

[nachos]

You can get the basics from the internet, books, message boards etc, but don't forget that your baby is an individual, and what works for one may not for another.

Ironically, your baby will be your best and most effective teacher.

[Deleted]

Here really taught me the most. My friends from prenatal fitness class were a good resource because we all had babies the same age, so it was nice to have people to bounce off the "is this normal?" Questions. I always recommend the 411 books- Pregnancy, Baby and Toddler. They have short chapters in clear language and you don't need to read the book cover to cover because it's easily separated by topics.

[Deleted]

Your Pregnancy Week by Week and Your Baby's First Year Week by Week were my "Bibles" and many, many message boards.