TTC and career change

[sophie223]

Hi, I'm new to the board with a career/conception conundrum :/

My husband (32) and I (31) have been TTC for 8 months--charting, OPKs, the whole deal. No luck yet. Which is fine, I know it takes awhile sometimes, so I'm not freaking out or anything.

But recently, a potential career opportunity kind of landed in my lap with a new company. I'm not extremely happy in my current company, but I am comfortable--I've been here for three years, I get along with my coworkers, I'm confident in my duties and fairly well-respected. 

A big consideration for me: my current company offers 3 months fully paid maternity leave, which is pretty much unheard of anywhere else. I haven't received a benefits package (yet) from this new job opportunity, but even though I might be making more money, I doubt that they offer anywhere close to 3 months fully paid mat leave. And just to be eligible for FMLA, we'd have to put off TTC for at least 3 months.

I'm not sure if I should keep pursuing this or not. I'm not quite at the offer stage (although it's very close), so I may be panicking prematurely. But I'm also close to ovulation this month, and I don't know whether I should keep TTC and stay with my current company, or put it off and pursue this new opportunity. If it were five years ago, I'd take the job, no question. But at my age, I'm worried about putting off having kids for much longer, especially since we want at least two. 

Can any of you ladies give me some advice? I feel torn between starting a family and starting a new job, and it's a tough position. 

[oneslybookworm]

Please know that my advice comes from TTC for 2 years from now, and going through IF treatments. I wouldn't make any decisions until you know the benefits package, but for me...if you're not happy in your current company and want to move to this new job, then go for it. Don't put life on hold for TTC, because you never know just how long it will take.

[daisy]

Apr 15, 2015 10:21:21 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Apr 15, 2015 10:14:09 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Don't put life on hold for TTC, because you never know just how long it will take.

I agree with this, 100%. Good luck with the offer!

I agree.

[sophie223]

Thanks for the advice so far. I've been kind of thinking the same thing--I shouldn't put my life on hold. But I SHOULD put TTC on hold then, right?

[EllenGriswold]

I dont post over here as much, I've moved over to TTTC, but while I would definitely not put the job on hold, I'm not sure I would put TTC on hold either. Sure if this month is the one that works you would be in a tough position, but its entirely doable, people do it all the time. And your job might not love it, but they don't have to know it was "planned" and if they want to hire you now it seems they think you will do a good job, that will not just disappear in the next 9 months. Caveat - I don't know what industry you are in or what the norm is regarding kids, or your financial situation, etc. so that may affect my answer.

[Mushe]

I totally agree with not putting life on hold. Also, I wouldn't necessarily put TTC on hold, but it is something you can negotiate, but only you would know the culture of the company and whether they'd think it's a red flag. Many companies would give you the time off rather than lose you, even though they wouldn't have to unless you met the FMLA requirements.

[boiler717]

I would go for the new job. I also wouldn't put TTC on hold for FMLA -- many employers will be flexible and some may even have a policy to offer it before 12 months. Even if you did wait 3 months, there's no guarantee that your baby wouldn't come early. Good luck with the interview process and TTC!

[sophie223]

Thanks for the assurance--y'all are telling me pretty much exactly what I want (and need!) to hear. We may go ahead and try this month, since my career prospects are still up in the air. If we DON'T get pregnant this month and I do end up taking the new job, I would probably put it on hold for a few months, just so I'm not starting off on a bad note. I am the primary breadwinner in my household (by a lot), so if I did anything to jeopardize my career, my H and I would be pretty much screwed.

[autumnfire]

I'm in the you don't know how long it could and will take. That said I think if this month ended up with a sticky bfp you'll figure things out. If I was in your situation my sights would be more set on their benefits packages regarding infertility (but again that was if I was in that situation because we were facing infertility treatments).

However if 3 months maternity leave is something that is highly desirable to you and will possibly be a huge factor in your decision perhaps you could do 1 of 2 things. With the higher pay put away enough during your time there / possibly pregnant to allow you to take the rest of the maternity leave with enough funds to sustain you. Or you could see if you can negotiate a 3 month full paid maternity leave? (not something I'd do because it could be a deal breaker if they feel like you'll only be there long enough to train and then have to find a temp replacement. As much as it can't be discriminated against it could hurt your chances.)

[belle55]

Funny you posted this question as I may be in a similar situation. I had a second interview for a job today and feel like I may get an offer. If i do i will probably take it. We've been TTC for 1.5 years though, so I'm not sure I will put TTC on hold. My current job doesn't offer much for mat leave and I obviously don't know what the new one will offer.

It's such a hard decision. On the one hand I don't want to delay ttc any longer, but on the other, getting thru a first trimester while trying to learn a new job could be really difficult and I would want to focus a lot of my energy on getting up to speed and doing a good job.

Best of luck to you and whatever you decide! I wish we had a crystal ball.

[Deleted]

If it's an opportunity you would otherwise definitely take, I would take it. Before making a decision about whether or not to put TTC on hold, I would wait and see what the benefits package looks like and see if you can get a feel for the company culture. My job has zero benefits, zero paid maternity leave, but it is my dream job with a very flexible and laid back culture, so for me it balances out.

[awick14]

I also agree with not putting off life for TTC, but I'm also 2 1/2 years into this wonderful "game".

I would take the job and just see what happens.

[sophie223]

Thank you all for the smart advice. I talked to the recruiter today and they are going to send me an offer package tomorrow. She asked about the benefits at my current company, but I didn't say anything about the fully paid maternity leave--maybe I should've, but I was worried that they'd see a red flag there and potentially discriminate. It does sound like they really want to hire me though, which puts me in a good position to negotiate--and it seems that if they want me so badly, they'll be willing to work with me around a potential pregnancy, too. Here's hoping (on all counts)! And best of luck all of you who are TTC too!

[july]

I agree. Don't out TTC on hold and don't put the job on hold. A company that is a good fit for you will not lay you off if you get pregnant. I wouldn't want to work there. You seem very marketable.