The one-upper game.

[hamster]

I'll start. You know the rules.

I may have broke my toe this weekend.

[irene adler]

I can't believe how sore my shoulder gets from writing my thesis on Marxist themes in modern art. Thankfully my husband cut up my fresh, organic apples for my steel cut oats with organic local honey.*

*this is a typical work conversation, usually lead off with "how was your evening".
*This is an paraphrased quote. But

[tacosforlife]

Apr 21, 2015 13:08:40 GMT -5 hamster said:

I'll start. You know the rules.

I may have broke my toe this weekend.

At least you have toes. I accidentally amputated all mine this weekend with a lawnmower.

[irene adler]

Oh, you have a lawn? How nice.

We have moved on to drought tolerant plants and don't have a lawn. *I* think that water conservation is more important than a conformist lawn.

ETA – goddamnit phone, stop auto correcting to bad grammar

[magdala]

If you live in an urban setting, you don't need to deal with any plants and you can walk everywhere.

[itsme]

We tore out our lawn awhile ago. Well before the "mega drought" was declared so we are ahead of the game.

[compassrose]

We have recycled astroturf. Walla! Green lawn. Minimal environmental impact.

[mrsfarmer]

We developed our yard into a sustainable organic farm so we can grow our own food. Our 2&3 year old daughters taught themselves how to use the internet to research the best uses/ways to achieve this. We also installed solar panels and a wind turbine so that we did not use any electricity to do said research on the farm.

[irene adler]

Then surely you've read several of my articles in your research or read my books "The Sustainable Life: Seven Easy Steps to Creating a Homestead So Every Person You Meet will Know that Your Food is Fresh, Organic, Local, and From Scratch (and thus Superior)"And "Kale, Quinoa, and Chard, Oh My: The Modern Guide to Insufferable Food Descriptors."

[mrsfarmer]

Didn't need to read it, my girls were able to absorb the information right from the iPad and relay it to me through psychic communication. Others we know just need to look into their beautiful blue eyes to know that they are super intelligent and then they take over with mind control. Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated!

[just]

Well we don't buy books - it seems like such a waste! We borrow exclusively from the library in our small town who tend to exclusively stock classics and seminal texts rather than some of these new-fangled concept books.

Oh and we don't have the internet. I don't know where we'd find the time what with our homesteading, and family time.

[Deleted]

We transcribe ancient texts on our own recycled parchment while harnessing the power of wind and solar energy.

[irene adler]

What a wonderful Idea!

We just upcycle our parchment into coloring books for children in the foster care system. Enough people care about the classics--we're more interested in helping children who have had a rough start to life.

[StJess80]

My daughter just had her last painting proclaimed an instant masterpiece and multiple art museums are competing to be the one that gets to showcase it.

[aurora]

Well, my 4-year-old son just won the Nobel Prize for physics in recognition of his perpetual motion machine that renders solar and wind power unnecessary (much less fossil fuels).

[petitefrite]

Ahhhh, my three year old daughter also won the Nobel Prize recently. The peace prize though. We've been consulting with the Gates Foundation as to who will spend our donated prize money in the most Eco conscious manner. Melinda Gates was so lovely to have as a guest at dinner last week!

[AAM2012]

You have children? We don't have time for children as we're just too busy traveling the world. We just got back from our normal Paris weekend get away. LOL! We go so often the 1st class flight attendants know us on a first name basis.

[egeiger]

Flight attendants? We call them private staff. For our personal plane.