S/o Mothers Day - will you be different?

[vanillacourage]

I wonder if I'll be more accommodating when I'm the mom of grownups/a grandma myself, or if I'll be all "harrumph! I served my time catering to the olds, now it's my turn!!!" Maybe that's why our moms/MILs are like that - their moms did it to them!

[Deleted]

My grandmothers passed away before I was born so Mothers Day was always about my mom, and to a lesser extent, my mom's only sister aka my godmother.
We haven't even discussed MD plans with my mom and MIL yet. Usually we host Mothers and Fathers Days, and I even did so ~25 and ~30 weeks pregnant last year.

[badtzmaru22]

My mom isn't one to make a fuss over Mother's Day, but my mil is. I am already the exact opposite of my MIL, and I plan to stay that way.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 14:17:38 GMT -5 @starry said:

I'll be the same. My mother barely cares and neither do I

I'm here. I like to do something fun/treat myself but I couldn't really careless about who I'm with or what I do. 
My Mom and MIL are that way too. Like to do something, not really demanding about it.

And if it turns it's exactly not what I wanted off to the Amazon/Ulta websites I go and all is well.

[pugz]

I hope to be very chill as I age as my mom has been. My parent's motto when it comes to family gtgs and holidays is "no drama, no guilt."

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 14:22:04 GMT -5 pugz said:

I hope to be very chill as I age as my mom has been. My parent's motto when it comes to family gtgs and holidays is "no drama, no guilt."

My mom and in-laws are very flexible 95% of the time as well.

I am trying to decide what I want for Mother's Day this year. Normally I cook for MIL. This year I think I'll ask DH to cook and invite MIL and my mom (she may or may not be free).

[noodleskooze]

My mom still wants Mother's Day to be all about her despite the fact that I'm the one actively raising a child. I will do my best to be breezy when my kids are adults and have their own families.

[cjeanette]

My mom has never asked for a thing for Mother's day in my life. So I can't imagine I will be as chill as her. I want a card or a meal with them when they are older...I think. Right now I like to spend Mother's Day without having to actually parent them.

I assume I will be different from my MIL. God, I hope I am different. Her birthday usually fall on or near Mother's Day so it makes it worse....

[Deleted]

No because I don't care about Mother's Day and neither does my mom.

[caramia17]

I think I would like acknowledgement, like a card or a call or whatever, but if I manage to raise a self-sufficient, happy adult, I think that seeing her as a mom would be so exciting, I would want it to be "her turn".

I am not tied to the particular day for celebrating anyway.

[rootbeerfloat]

My parents are going to brunch with their friends on MD, so I wouldn't mind following in her footsteps.

We're celebrating on Saturday (and thanks to my dad, my sister and I get spoiled as much as my mom), and that works nicely for us.

[ilikedonuts]

My mom is a nutcase about holidays and things like Mother's Day. I actually didn't talk to her from Mother's Day through late September last year because of a hissy fit she threw about not seeing us on actual Mother's Day. It was a culmination of a lot of stuff that caused me to not talk to her, but mother's day pushed me over the edge.

I very much plan on not at all caring when my kids are grown. I am not going to put them through the crap my mother has put me through.

[rbp]

I'm spending my first Mother's Day at my friend's memorial service. (wilted) That's all I have to add.

[cjeanette]

Apr 23, 2015 15:43:21 GMT -5 rbp said:

I'm spending my first Mother's Day at my friend's memorial service. (wilted) That's all I have to add.

Is his mother still living.  If so....man.  I don't know that I could handle that.

[electricmayhem]

My MIL could care less about Mother's Day; she's happy with a card.  (We don't live nearby).

My mother is the total opposite and expects fanfare.  My grandmother is the same way, and although my mom is really resentful that she never had one year where she was able to do what she wanted and didn't feel pressured to make it all about her own mother (who is still alive, BTW), she can't see past that to realize she is more or less repeating history.  It's exhausting and I get resentful over the implications that whatever my sister and I try to do is never enough.  I felt this way before I had kids, but now that I have my own, it's even worse.  I really hope that when it's my turn, I do my best to be fairly low maintenance.

[ktw]

I think one of the best gifts my parents have given my brothers and Me since we became adults is flexibility and understanding about holidays, etc... They truly understand that we're blending our family with our spouses' families, and they do not make us feel guilty when we have to compromise our old traditions. I hope to do the same for my children. That's one of the main reasons why even though I might prefer to just hang out with H and G on Mother's Day, I won't. If my mom knew I felt that way, she'd totally encourage me to do it.

[cincodemayo]

I didn't do anything for my mom growing up, and she didn't care. She planted ME flowers last year and will probably do so again this year since both years we have saddled her with watching DS for the weekend. I am a bad daughter. 

So, I imagine I will not care too much when my kids have kids. Shoot me a Happy Mother's Day text or something, kid.

[mlt]

I am determined to be different than my mom. She does certain things really well but holidays and the pressure she puts me under aren't some of them.

[water*drop]

Neither of our moms really care much about Mother's Day. DH and I celebrate each other and thank each other for our roles in parenting on Mother's Day/Father's Day. I mean, obviously DD is too little to really do anything for us anyway right now, but that's really how I'd like it to be in the future, too, including after the kids are grown - a card from the kids would be great, but I mostly envision MD/FD as days where DH and I celebrate the roles that we each played in hopefully raising productive members of society.

[Deleted]

My husband goes camping with his guy friends every year the first or Second week of May. Due to some wives, they are not leaving until Monday due to the husbands not being 'allowed' to be away on Mother's Day. I think it's silly. And think how much I can demand from my husband since he missed Mother's Day!? lol.

[cjeanette]

Apr 23, 2015 16:37:30 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

My husband goes camping with his guy friends every year the first or Second week of May. Due to some wives, they are not leaving until Monday due to the husbands not being 'allowed' to be away on Mother's Day. I think it's silly. And think how much I can demand from my husband since he missed Mother's Day!? lol.

Oh I don't think that is silly.  I am not one for gifts but solo parenting for my H to go hang with friends?  Newp.

Not to mention missing dinner with our families.

[Yankees21]

Apr 23, 2015 16:37:30 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

My husband goes camping with his guy friends every year the first or Second week of May. Due to some wives, they are not leaving until Monday due to the husbands not being 'allowed' to be away on Mother's Day. I think it's silly. And think how much I can demand from my husband since he missed Mother's Day!? lol.

I don't know I'd go as far as say "not allowed" but I can understand this. Parenting , especially solo, is hard work and it seems like what most moms actively parenting want is to relax on MD.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 16:48:31 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

Apr 23, 2015 16:37:30 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

My husband goes camping with his guy friends every year the first or Second week of May. Due to some wives, they are not leaving until Monday due to the husbands not being 'allowed' to be away on Mother's Day. I think it's silly. And think how much I can demand from my husband since he missed Mother's Day!? lol.

I don't know I'd go as far as say "not allowed" but I can understand this. Parenting , especially solo, is hard work and it seems like what most moms actively parenting want is to relax on MD.

So make Mother's Day may 23rd.
I can't get up in arms over an arbitrary day chosen by hallmark.

[Yankees21]

Apr 23, 2015 16:51:43 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

Apr 23, 2015 16:48:31 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

I don't know I'd go as far as say "not allowed" but I can understand this. Parenting , especially solo, is hard work and it seems like what most moms actively parenting want is to relax on MD.

So make Mother's Day may 23rd.
I can't get up in arms over an arbitrary day chosen by hallmark.

Or make the trip a day later

[hainesherway]

My mom never expected anything for Mother's day. To her it was just nice to receive a card or some flowers out of the garden. She passed away last March, so this will be the second one without her. I'm 33 weeks PG with my first and in the hospital due to pregnancy complications, so there's a chance I may be a mom before Mother's day comes around.

[jeaniebueller]

By the time I am a grandparent I hope to be retire and be entertains a whole host of my own interests, so yeah, I will not sweat MD.

[Marmee]

My mom was chill & undemanding...and basically never had anything done for her much on MD (maybe breakfast out). This was typical of all holidays, none ever made a fuss over her. All well & good but my mom definitely grew bitter & feels unappreciated (& she was a super Mom Martha Stewart type so she deserved to be appreciated). She said specifically for me to NOT be like her.

I want & now expect to be fussed over/spoiled/pampered...DH & my girls seem to get a kick out of it & I appreciate it.

[rbp]

Apr 23, 2015 15:44:59 GMT -5 cjeanette said:

Apr 23, 2015 15:43:21 GMT -5 rbp said:

I'm spending my first Mother's Day at my friend's memorial service. (wilted) That's all I have to add.

Is his mother still living.  If so....man.  I don't know that I could handle that.

Yes. I am so sad for his parents.

[scribellesam]

None of the moms/grandmas in our families make a big fuss over Mothers Day, but even if they did we have no local family so I'd win. I don't think I'll expect my adult sons to fawn over me in future? It's not really a big deal day for me. DS1's birthday is May 10, so we're always celebrating him that weekend anyway.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 16:54:33 GMT -5 Yankees21 said:

Apr 23, 2015 16:51:43 GMT -5 @hannymaren said:

So make Mother's Day may 23rd.
I can't get up in arms over an arbitrary day chosen by
hallmark.

Or make the trip a day later

I know but then they leave on Monday instead of Saturday morning. For my H, he's upset because he has such limited vacation and days off but weekends are freebies.
But they could just go a week later. Lol. Much warmer too.