The Unintentional Baby Wearer

[Velar Fricative]

I can't help with actual babywearing tips or suggestions on length of time because I only wore her for errands and occasionally while doing chores around the apartment, since I didn't love it and she was fine in a stroller, in her boppy lounger, etc. However, I *can* tell you that you can't spoil a newborn. Do what works for your sanity!

[Deleted]

Strangers have the most random comments. My cleaning lady flipped her shit once when I reached to place something on a high shelf when I was pregnant with DD1 because "the cord will wrap around the baby's neck." People just repeat things they hear. You are not spoiling him by wearing him. It is not possible to spoil a 6 week old baby. In the rare case that he develops a habit you don't like, like needing to be worn to take a nap, you can ease him out of it when he is older and able to self-soothe. At this age you do what works. Whatever works.

DD2 spent like 75% of her life in the Moby wrap for the first 3 months (at least 75% of the time she was not on my boob... or that is what it felt like). We never had a problem with clinginess with her. Actually I wanted to keep wearing her much longer than I was actually able to, because she morphed into a super squirmy wild child who just wants to "get down and play!" My life would be so much easier if she would tolerate being worn still. lol.

[AlpineSlide]

spoiling the baby is BS. Don't think about that for a minute. a well rested baby is usually a happy baby (and mom) and if wearing helps achieve that, then great!

honestly, if i were you, i would splash out and get a tula. i dabbled with multiple cheap carriers/slings and really wish i would have just sprung for a nice one. add up what you've spent on the 4 or 5 carriers. i bet you're close to the price of a tula ($150) anyway. sell the rest and go for a tula

[lilac05]

You're going to be told often that you're spoiling the baby. You might as well think about a quick comeback now. I'm not a baby wearer, but I EBF. If someone makes a comment, my response is something about him being over it by high school graduation. (AKA...I'm just not worried about it & am not going to justify my parenting decisions.) IF you're spoiling the baby, who cares?? Who else does it affect? As long as it works for your family, that's all that matters.

(Spoiler: you can't spoil a newborn.)

[Deleted]

The baby wearing group can help you get your carrier adjusted optimally for you and your baby. There are different ways to wear even something pretty straightforward (like the Boba). I wouldn't buy a Tula with what you've got, but I'm also stubborn about not being trendy, lol.

Welcome to parenthood! Eat your words and do what works. I found Everyday Babywearing on Facebook to be a good resource (although they're super into wrapping, and that was not for me).

[spk926]

See if there is a Baby Wearing International group local to you (BWI). They can be great resources. Some are intense but just keep an open mind and know that they're there to help.

[pinkpeony08]

I just read a book my doula lent me a book called "Vital Touch." sharonheller.net/the-vital-touch.php
It's all about how we are one of the only cultures in the world who doesn't carry their baby all the time and instead wants them to be in a swing, chair, etc. I'd recommend it if you are interested, but the overall message of the book is that you will definitely not spoil your baby. If anything, your baby will have its needs met sooner and building a trust that you will be there whenever he needs it, which is important for babies.... leading to a trusting, independent child.

My daughter LIVED in the moby wrap for the first months of her life. She is now a very independent, well adjusted 2 going on 3 year old. I'm basically holding my newborn pretty much all day, hoping for the same thing. You will definitely not spoil him and there are definitely benefits to wearing your baby all the time. Enjoy the little baby snuggles- they grow so fast!

[bearbaby]

My only contribution here is that I'm not a babywearer (outside of very occasionally to run an errand), and I've definitely pooped with a toddler on my lap.

[laurack]

If you wear them you are spoiling them, if you don't wear them you are cold and unloving. Either can and will be judged by someone!

[laurack]

Also saying you won't do <insert parenting thingy here> then doing it after all is like, a parenting right of passage lol

[Deleted]

I didn't see the point in it either, but my kid sleeps SO much better in the Ergo than a stroller. I just wish I could easily get it on myself.

[SJ]

Apr 23, 2015 15:18:28 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

lol, I don't even babywear that much, and I've still pooped while wearing a baby. In a public restroom, no less.

Ditto. I also threw up over DD's head in the K'Tan once at an airport.

Classy, party of one.

[jorja]

My baby is the same way. She will let my FI put her down in the swing or RnP, but she wants to be on me.

I absolutely love my K'tan. She spends multiple hours a day in it. She's small, so I'm still comfortable with her in it at 5 months. I have an Ergo for when she is bigger.

You're not spoiling him. Tiny babies are wired to want to be close to their mamas.

Look to see if Babywearing International has a chapter near you. They have lending libraries and you can try out various carriers to find one that works best for you. I actually have never been to a meeting because they are only once a month and the timing has not worked out, but my friends who have gone say the moms there are super friendly and helpful, and are varying levels of "crunchy", lol.

[Deleted]

Apr 23, 2015 16:19:08 GMT -5 @pennypie said:

Apr 23, 2015 15:50:45 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

I didn't see the point in it either, but my kid sleeps SO much better in the Ergo than a stroller. I just wish I could easily get it on myself.

So far the k'tan has been the quickest to get on once I figured it out. The boba is easy too, just takes longer and I think would be tricky to do in say a parking lot, since it drags on the ground a bit as you put it on.

I tried a K'tan but it didn't fit right. Maybe the size bigger would have worked but I was annoyed with it by that point.

[jewel]

I ended up an unintentional baby-wearer as well. I started off with a bajillion baby holder pieces (swing, RNP, bouncer, etc.) but my kid screamed like a maniac any time I set him down anywhere. I think the Boba wrap was my first new-mom emergency Amazon purchase. We also have a Moby wrap, a couple of Ergos, a Boba air carrier, and a Bjorn. My husband prefers the Bjorn (I don't like that it's a crotch-dangler). I liked the Boba wrap best when we was younger. The Ergos are comfortable and supportive, so I'll use one for a long day. The Boba air is very compact, and easy to throw into the diaper bag, so I'll take that one out for short errands. A Tula will be my Mother's Day gift, if they get one I like back in stock. I also want to try a ring sling.

Seriously, for the first 4 months of his life, there was about ZERO sleeping happening, unless it was in a carrier, usually with me bouncing on an exercise ball. At this age, you do whatever you have to do to get the baby to be calm and/or sleep.

[jewel]

Apr 23, 2015 16:19:08 GMT -5 @pennypie said:

Apr 23, 2015 15:50:45 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

I didn't see the point in it either, but my kid sleeps SO much better in the Ergo than a stroller. I just wish I could easily get it on myself.

So far the k'tan has been the quickest to get on once I figured it out. The boba is easy too, just takes longer and I think would be tricky to do in say a parking lot, since it drags on the ground a bit as you put it on.

The Boba wrap? A good way to do it is to get yourself wrapped up at home, and then get in the car and leave

[andthentherewere10]

I truly don't understand how stroller people pee in public. Those strollers don't fit into stalls.
I've worn DS way way way a lot and he doesn't appear to be spoiled.

[estrellita]

I'm interested in babywearing more but at the same time I don't understand how you can do anything. I put E in the Moby wrap once and intended to do laundry, but I couldn't figure out how I could reach into the washer or bend down to get stuff out of the dryer easily. I do wear him when we go out sometimes but he's also content in the car seat in the stroller or a cart if we're just in and out. If we're somewhere longer, I've been using my new Moby Aria. Is there secret to doing things at home while wearing baby? I feel like he's going to fall out of the wrap or carrier because I feel like I need to bend to do anything (put dishes away from the dishwasher, laundry, picking up around the apartment, etc).

[Deleted]

You get good at squatting rather than leaning.

And once baby is around 6 months, back carries are life changing.

I don't love stretchy anything for carriers, though. They're just inherently less secure.

[redwino]

Apr 23, 2015 16:33:20 GMT -5 jewel said:

Apr 23, 2015 16:19:08 GMT -5 @pennypie said:

So far the k'tan has been the quickest to get on once I figured it out. The boba is easy too, just takes longer and I think would be tricky to do in say a parking lot, since it drags on the ground a bit as you put it on.

The Boba wrap? A good way to do it is to get yourself wrapped up at home, and then get in the car and leave

I learned this the hard way. The first time I took dd out with the moby, it had just rained and I was trying to keep the ends off the ground so they didn't get dirty. Decided right then I would wrap before leaving the house from then on. I also realized today that by wrapping at home I can see how much my shirt rides up and change if necessary. I should have changed today before going to the grocery store but I decided to not care.