Wait, I thought the RnP WAS approved for sleeping in the U.S. I mean if I lived in Canada, I would have been in violation of safe sleeping guidelines, but my American babies were a-okay. lol
Wait, I thought the RnP WAS approved for sleeping in the U.S. I mean if I lived in Canada, I would have been in violation of safe sleeping guidelines, but my American babies were a-okay. lol
Wait, I thought the RnP WAS approved for sleeping in the U.S. I mean if I lived in Canada, I would have been in violation of safe sleeping guidelines, but my American babies were a-okay. lol
Nope, not even American babies from what I can find.
It's on their backs in an empty crib with a firm mattress and a solitary drab crib sheet OR NOTHING.
jinx!
DS slept in my bed, on top of me, while I laid flat. He slept on his back on my tummy lol. Where does that fall? I mean he is on his back and you know my tummy was totally flat at one day post partum. So that totally qualifies as safe sleep right?
Huh? Where is this even coming from? I just read through the whole thread to make sure I wasn't crazy. thebreakfastclub made one comment taking offense, Brie said it didn't take parents' mental well-being into account, someone pointed out (very nicely) that there might be a safer way to cosleep, everyone else said who cares and do what you need to do.
No one judged cosleeping here.
Yeah, ditto. It was overwhelmingly agreed that we all are Team "Do What You Need to Do!" This particular GUY is rubbing people the wrong way, but that doesn't make bed sharing some sort of horror that we're judging. I think most people have engaged in it to some degree.
I don't think she was saying cosleeping was being judged. Again, I think she was complaining that people accused the article of shaming non-cosleepers.
Wait, I thought the RnP WAS approved for sleeping in the U.S. I mean if I lived in Canada, I would have been in violation of safe sleeping guidelines, but my American babies were a-okay. lol
As a random tangent, I am often glad that I don't live in California because lots of things are carcinogenic there.
Who is this pediatric insider person and why was I lied to when I was pregnant? lol.
I thought it was at a lower incline than most swings, bouncers and carseats, so the airway constriction wasn't a factor; and at that time they didn't have the RnPs with the extra padded inserts, so it was a firm surface. Firmer than a crib mattress.
eta: not that I followed all the safe-sleeping guidelines anyway. I just feel guilty that I've been recommending and buying this for everybody else on the premise that it is safe.
It seems like everyone uses RNPs for newborns. When the peds nurse asked where he slept at night, I truthfully said the RNP for the first couple of months. I never got a talking-to about it.
Yeah, ditto. It was overwhelmingly agreed that we all are Team "Do What You Need to Do!" This particular GUY is rubbing people the wrong way, but that doesn't make bed sharing some sort of horror that we're judging. I think most people have engaged in it to some degree.
I don't think she was saying cosleeping was being judged. Again, I think she was complaining that people accused the article of shaming non-cosleepers.
Yeah I didn't think it did that, and we've done very little co-sleeping. I was kind of surprised when some people did take offense as if the article were shaming non-co-sleepers.
Post by redpenmama on Apr 24, 2015 10:34:27 GMT -5
As someone who has the world's worst sleepers and who resorted to bedsharing with both babies, I have read a lot of McKenna's stuff, and he has been a great "voice" for me and has helped me be OK with bedsharing. With DD, I struggled a lot with the feeling that I had failed on sleep because I put her in the bed with us, that I was a crappy mom for not being able to "teach" her to sleep in a crib, and that everyone would judge me if they knew our little secret. Over the course of her first year, I found many friends who also "secretly" bedshared but never really talked about it for fear of the judgment. So, it really is encouraging to find someone out there who understands that bedsharing is a viable -- and safe, when done correctly -- option for some parents (and in some cases, the only viable option).
That said, there's no reason for there to be some bedsharing agenda -- that babies out there who bedshare are better off or something. I would kill to have kids that I would happily sleep in a crib for 12 hours a night. Seriously -- I cannot even imagine. If I had a kid that would go down in a crib, I'd throw a party and enjoy my personal space at night. But, I tried, it didn't work, and I decided we needed to get some sleep. So, what has worked for our shitty sleepers isn't necessarly going to work for another family.
I've been sleeping in the recliner in DS's room with him on my chest and a pillow at his back. I don't feel comfortable co-sleeping in bed, but the recliner feels pretty safe and secure to me. I'm scared to tell anyone that's how we're sleeping for fear of being judged or questioned.
On the other hand, I took him into our room this morning and put him in the rock n play because I was desperate to sleep in my bed like a normal person.
I very much see both sides of doing the best thing for the baby (whatever that may be) and the mental well-being of myself as, well, a human.
I appreciate the support of co-sleeping, but agree with Brie about the need for more research and understanding of mental health for parents, especially new ones.
I used to sleep exactly the same way with both of my newborns because it was the only angle they'd sleep in. Found out after the fact that it's not safe at all. I'd definitely recommend trying to figure out side lying nursing and bed sharing. Eta: I see meltoine already addressed this.
I read through those last night and he slept in his RnP all night. Thank you, meltoine!
I'm going to keep trying side lying nursing, but he needs me to guide him to latch right now. It's all good though. Just a little less sleep this way.
I remember when I was in the hospital with william and I fell asleep with him in the bed and they came in and gave out to me. Jerks! the child wouldn't sleep unless I was holding him and I was very tired! ugh.
I had a nurse in the hospital with E freak out when she saw H and I sleeping with the baby. I may have bit her head off a bit reminding her that this wasn't my first kid and my daughter was just fine.
Same nurse also made comments about how E's now was awfully long. "That's a big name for such a small girl. Most people go for simpler middle names with a first name like that"
I would imagine VERY few newborns /infants are put to sleep in an empty crib on their backs and just.. sleep a lot. I mean, I've heard of this happening but it's very rare.
Co-sleeping is probably very common in other cultures. Here, we have the amazing rock n play. Neither are approved it seems but like everything in parenting there is a risk benefit analysis to be performed.
Physically impossible for me anyway to remain awake in a recliner nursing a newborn baby for 20-30 minutes every 1-2 hours all night every night. I WILL fall asleep. I mean, there is only so much the human body can take.
Using the RNP meant my newborn woke much less often. Co-sleeping meant he woke but I could doze while he nursed. Both were viable options.
Best practice just isn't feasible for all babies and parents. I mean, it's often physically impossible becuase we all have a threshold at which fatigue takes over and we literally cannot stay awake.
Anybody have a site with pictures about how to position your body with baby and side nurse? My baby ends up on her side, and i feel really awkward trying to position arms legs and boobs as to not crush her.
Anybody have a site with pictures about how to position your body with baby and side nurse? My baby ends up on her side, and i feel really awkward trying to position arms legs and boobs as to not crush her.
How old is your baby? DD was/is always on her side when we nursed side-lying. It didn't really work well for us until she started rolling on her own though, around 4 months.
I would put a pillow directly behind my back and then sort of lean back on it once DD latched, so my weight was slightly shifted toward being on my back. Without the pillow there it was awkward.
I think this is one of those things that is totally different for each mom and baby though and depends on your body, boobs, etc. You might just have to experiment!
Random logistical question for those who co-sleep: Does your child go to bed at the same time as you? If no, do they sleep in your bed alone until you go to bed, or do they start the night somewhere else?
I lay down in the middle of my king size bed and nurse the baby to sleep and GBCN. Once he unlatches 5-15 minutes later, I leave until I'm ready for bed or he wakes.
When he starts rolling in his sleep more I'll do something different.
Random logistical question for those who co-sleep: Does your child go to bed at the same time as you? If no, do they sleep in your bed alone until you go to bed, or do they start the night somewhere else?
I let DS fall alseep on me in my bed ~9PM and then I move him to his crib. About 4x a week, he'll call me in or just walk in to our room (we took 1 side off his crib and put up the toddler rail so he can climb in/out) between 2-6AM and get back in bed with us. WHATever. GO TO SLEEP. He's a solid snuggler with us.
We'd let him sleep with us but he's a total tornado in his sleep. I have been kicked in the throat before. It is just NOT conducive to OUR sleep needs to let him be with us all the time. Andplusalso: Queen bed. DH is a Stage V Snuggler and wanted a Queen over a King size. Our next bed WILL be a king!
Post by thebreakfastclub on Apr 24, 2015 16:21:13 GMT -5
I havent been around all day. I don't care about who bed shares. I thought it was silly for the professor to claim that newborns can't sleep alone in a crib or are doing so to their detriment.
I belong to a culture where kids sleep with mothers till they are old ....very old. 11-12 years old sleeping with parents is not unheard of. And I have never heard of an infant sleeping alone....ever. I had never heard of SIDS before I came to the U.S. My family back home hasn't heard of it either and were shocked at the recommendations here.
That said, this works largely in a setup where moms are sahm, with lots of family help. Or if they are working moms, they are constantly stressed with less sleep, no me time etc.
My infants slept in their own room, much to my family's dissapointment. I just couldn't function otherwise. Though I am not sure if this was the best decision for my kids...
What is best for kids is a mom who gets sleep.
I feel like back when my kids were little I was judged by family the other way. Our kids slept in bed with me which was not at all the norm for us. It's how I slept better.
You gotta go with what works for your family. It's not one size fits all.
Anybody have a site with pictures about how to position your body with baby and side nurse? My baby ends up on her side, and i feel really awkward trying to position arms legs and boobs as to not crush her.
This is how I do it. My other kids slept in the same position until 7/8ish months and then they had their own area in the bed. I use a regular pillow.
Post by runblondie26 on Apr 24, 2015 16:47:56 GMT -5
I've tried sharing my bed with the kids as older infants/young toddlers a few times. They either crawled or fell out of bed while I was sleeping. Thank goodness no serious injuries.
Like baby wearing, it sounds great in theory. Seems simple enough, but for some reason I suck at the execution.
Random logistical question for those who co-sleep: Does your child go to bed at the same time as you? If no, do they sleep in your bed alone until you go to bed, or do they start the night somewhere else?
I only did it when they were really little and we were all in survival mode anyway. So yes I went to bed when they did for the first few months.
And then we moved to them going to bed in their cribs, but bringing them to bed in the middle of the night.
Then by 6 months they were both in their own rooms.
So I'm not hardcore, lol. But it helped me survive the beginning and made BFing a lot easier. (for me)
But do they involve the mother rolling on the child, or do most of them involve suffocation from other sources? Or things like falling asleep in a chair or on a couch? Not being argumentative, I am really curious.
It runs the gamut, really. Typically the parent rolling over. Several have involved mother nursing/bottle feeding and falling asleep. Usually caused by fatigue more than anything. That said, bedshare, don't beshare, I don't really have a dog in this fight. My DD slept in the RNP the first 8 weeks and that isn't safe sleep approved either. I just cringe every time I hear someone say "well, unless you are impaired by drugs or alcohol, you will wake up before you roll over!" Its just not true for everyone.
Thanks for clarifying. I am also always annoyed by the assumption that drugs and alcohol are involved, because it diminishes the risks and marginalizes the women who have lost babies this way.
What I want is honest information, something between fear mongering and extreme breeziness, because neither of these things help families. A clear list of risks and ways to minimize them would be a start.
When I was pregnant with M I went to jury duty and we were all forced to watch a movie about safe sleep. It was horrifying, didn't differentiate between SIDS and suffocation, and wasn't particularly accurate.
When accurate info isn't given people become so afraid of bed sharing that they turn to other methods, that are more dangerous, because they believe them to be safer.
My children are bigger now, so this issue does not really pertain to me now, except that A still ends up in bed with us, but I am still annoyed about the lack of honest information.
Anybody have a site with pictures about how to position your body with baby and side nurse? My baby ends up on her side, and i feel really awkward trying to position arms legs and boobs as to not crush her.
This is how I do it. My other kids slept in the same position until 7/8ish months and then they had their own area in the bed. I use a regular pillow.
hrp22, I don't have pics, but my arms don't go around DS at all when he is nursing in my bed. I lean back on a pillow if he's on my left side and nursing on the left breast. My right arm leans back on the pillow behind me and my left arm is at a 90ish degree angle above him (and invading DH's space) or bent back near my head. If he's on my left side and nursing from the right breast, I'm practically on my stomach and both of my arms are up by my head/face.
I wish I had pics because it sounds very strange when I type it out.
Random logistical question for those who co-sleep: Does your child go to bed at the same time as you? If no, do they sleep in your bed alone until you go to bed, or do they start the night somewhere else?
I nurse to sleep for naps and bed time. The first night time stretch starts between 6-6:30 most nights. I nurse her to sleep after dinner. Sometimes I transfer her to the swing after a few hours. We don't go to bed until 11ish most nights, which is when she usually starts stirring and I feed her again once we're in bed.
I pretty much did the same with my others, but didn't use a swing much with them. After 6/7 months they were easy to transfer to another location without waking.